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I am humbled...and in a place I have never been...

Permanently deleted user
I have always been one to take care of my own...but I am at a point where I don't know if I can physically do it any more. I do not believe in gov't subsidies but Gulf War I has literally brought me to my knees. I can no longer make a living doing what I know how to do. I have been a custom builder for the past 12 years and I started up our gun business to (hopefully) be able to take over when I could no longer do construction...unfortunately that day came sooner than i had expected. I can no longer do it...and I'm only 36 years old. I feel like such a failure. I've been trying to find another way to make a living...anything that I can do, but with no luck. Most of you guys are proud men...like I used to be...try to imagine what it might feel like for your daughter to have just had a birthday and you were not able to buy her a present...on top of that, Christmas is just around the corner...the only presents under the tree will be from friends or family. IF God does not work a miracle, we will not have a home or business within a few weeks.

Folks, please pray for me and my family. The pain is getting to be so much...and I'm afraid I'm losing my mental faculties...I don't know how much time I have left and it's hard...I still have a family that I need to take care of. I could really use your prayers people.

Some of you may not understand that I come from a very proud family...a family where we do not ask for help...or prayer...a family where we've always been able to "make it happen". You may not understand that I've always been a person that thought I would always have an answer...

I'm in a place now that I've never been. I need prayer. I need for the Lord to provide another occupation that I can provide for my family in. I have not worked for someone else in so long that I'm not sure where to go. I can no longer do construction and I really need for the Lord to open another door.

Would you guys please join me in prayer, in agreement, that the Lord would work a miracle in my life. I don't know how much longer I have left, but I would really like to have the opportunity to provide for my family while I am still on this earth.

I don't expect some of you to ever understand what I'm talking about. Those of you that have known me for the past several years can probably understand where I'm coming from (I've been humbled).

I really do not know if I should post this...I have never admitted such failure in my life...who of you would have ever thought that at age 36, you would barely be able to function in a normal capacity...certainly not me....and I keep looking for an alternative...please keep me and my family in prayer. God is able to handle my situation. He can carry me through it. I just pray that He enables me to provide for my family before I go.

There are some who will probably think less of me for posting this thread...and for that, I apologize. For the rest, I am speaking my heart and I just do not know what to do.

If all you Christians will pray for me and my family, I know miracles can and will happen.

I am ashamed and humbled to have to come before you like this...but your prayers will work...

Thank you...and please forgive my moment of weakness

Folks...I've been sitting here trying to decide whether or not to post this thread...but you know what...if I can get 2 or 3 people who will truly pray for me about this matter, I could care less about how it makes me look. Prayer is powerful and effective. This old "proud" soldier has been humbled...
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Comments

119 comments

Date Votes
  • Marc1301
    Eric, I am saddened to hear of your problems. I agree with some of the others in the respect of turning your construction experience in a different direction.
    I am 46 now, and had to cut back on the amount of work I was doing almost 2 years ago, due to a terrible back, bad knees, and the genetic arthritis. I have been blessed in the respect of monetary things, so will most likely be retiring in about 4 years. I will still do something, but it won't be physical, and probably part-time.
    You will find the right job, keep your eyes, and heart open for when the sign, and the door is opened for you.
    You, and your family will be in my daily prayers.
    If you would like to talk, or need some help,....drop me an e-mail.
    Now is not the time to be too proud to reach out.
    I think it took a lot of guts to post what you did.
    Take care brother![;)]
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  • Captplaid
    One thing I was never prepared to do was have to redefine myself. School, church and society as a whole does not approach this subject. After going through a similiar but different struggle, I've noticed other men have this challenge. Few people like to talk about it, even after the experience. Perhaps that is why no one wants to educate others about it. This is not about being any kind of failure. It's a change in direction.

    Our nature says we define ourselves by what we do and that's a bunch of bull. Sometimes we measure it as our "success" in life. Sometimes we call it our duty to "provide" for our families, and sometimes we are merely chasing that golden calf.

    For whatever reason, we get ourselves in a corner and are forced to find a new career and search within ourselves for a real definition of who we are. In the meantime we have to find a means to provide for the real and present needs. We have to pay the bills.

    I understand your pain. I remember sitting at the kitchen table eating fried chicken next to my wife and father. THeir enjoying the food and I look around thinking about how they have no clue that my head wants to explode.

    Eric, you will get though this defining time. We all do. Looking back, you'll see this as a pivotal point in who you are. Your more than a carpenter.


    I'll keep you in my prayers, not only that God provides your needs, but also that He can provide the comfort from anxiety and clear thinking and wisdom. You are not alone.
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  • elkoholic
    There is no shame in asking for help or prayers or the compensation you are due for serving your country. I pray that the good Lord lifts up your spirit and the light of his wisdom shows you the way.
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  • carrie2
    Hold your loved ones close, ye shall overcome

    Prayers sent
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  • yawarakai
    Eric, prayers sent. You say you are losing your mental faculties from the pain, have you tried counseling from your VA or church? Depression is a normal thing we all go through it at times and sometimes just talking to another helps. I know the month that three friends passed away I wound up calling the LISW at work for a talk. (Since I work security in the local board of Mental Health I have that resource to use)
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  • JamesRK
    Eric, I have been struggling to find the right words, but I can't, so I'll just say I'm pulling for you buddy, and you know you will be in my prayers. Best to you and yours. Merry Christmas.
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  • Jgreen
    I can only wish you the best.
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  • Sig220_Ruger77
    Eric,
    You and your family will be in our prayers. Like most othes have said, it doesn't matter who or how strong you are, you are going to need help from time to time. No person in this world can carry the entire burden of having to take care of a family by themselves(even at full strength). I am not real old and have not experienced near as much as you or some of the other members have in their lifetimes, but I have learned one very important thing. That is, to "live life one day at a time." It will have it's ups and it's downs, just remember to enjoy the ups and fight through and learn from the downs. Do what you are capable of and work as hard as you can and come out with a smile because you know that you had nothing left to give that day, or on that job, or on that project, etc.

    One example of the "ups and downs" that I was talking about, occured to my family last year on Christmas day. Our entire family gets together on Christmas Eve and opens presents, eats dinner, socializes, and has a great old time. The next morning everyone leaves for church with smiles on their faces and in the middle of church, a man comes to our pew and asks my dad to please come to the back of the church. My dad, one of the strongest men I have ever seen, came back with tears in his eyes. That morning, my grandma(his mom) had passed away. My dad, who I had never once seen vulnerable or needing help up to this point, needed more help then we could give. He had always been their for the rest of the family and it was our turn to be there for him.
    If you ever need to talk shoot me an email. Merry Christmas to you and your family!

    Jon
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  • oldnbald
    quote:
    I believe kids need a christmas. If you need some cash to buy her some presents, just email me your address. I can spare a c-note or so to help you out in your time of need.


    Eric, my heart goes out to you and your family. I hope GOD intervenes to guide you through this time of trouble. What forkliftking said, goes for me also.
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  • 41 nut
    ECC, first of all quit thinking of yourself as a failure. You ain't. You still have your home and family. We all have tough times once or twice. As far as not wanting or accepting help. You worked for a number of years paying into the system. Now that you are down on your luck don't be ashamed or too pround to accept some assistance. Thats what it is for - to help those that are down and out and trying to come out of their streatch of hard luck. Do what you have to but get an attitude adjustment, not just for yourself but also for your family and get some of the help you despritaly need. Prayers offered in your behalf.
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  • Rack Ops
    Done

    Let me know if you need help. I don't have much, but I don't mind helping a fellow vet
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  • Warpig883
    Hang in there ECC. Lots of people here with good advice and help.
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  • jpwolf
    Eric, geez what can be said that already hasn't? I 'll keep it short and try not to sound like a pep talking coach. Here's the deal, this truly is a test. God will never send you anything you can't handle but he will send you something that you can ONLY handle by seeking Him. This is it!
    That being said, I will pray for you to give you the strength and courage to KNOW that this is, what it is- a test. Seek Him and KNOW that he will respond. This is temporary. It will however, when you look back on it, be the most redeeming time in your life, if you seek Him. I have no doubt that this will be for the good for you and your family in the lesson learned about leaning on our Lord. It is up to you to set the example proper for those kids of yours, and they are most fortunate that that is just what you will do.

    Fire me an email. I too am a contractor and age 37. I have been through a tough time and the Lord saw me through it, I know he will for you too. Let us, your GB family, give you some breathing room while you wait for your expected solution. Ask, believe, receive. -Jeff
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  • Colt Super
    Returned mail: response error#8207;
    From: Mail Delivery Subsystem (MAILER-DAEMON@gbhinc.com)
    Medium riskYou may not know this sender.Mark as safe|Mark as unsafe
    Sent: Wed 12/12/07 11:56 AM
    To: ThunderboltRanch@msn.com
    Security scan upon download Trend Micro r logo
    Attachments: details00...txt (0.2 KB),

    The original message was received at Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:56:37 -0500
    The following addresses had permanent fatal errors
    <allamericanarmsco@gotsky.com>
    Transcript of session follows
    .. while talking to smtp2.trueband.net
    >>> DATA
    <<< 554 mail server permanently rejected message (#5.3.0)

    --Forwarded Message Attachment--
    From: ThunderboltRanch@msn.com
    To: allamericanarmsco@gotsky.com
    Subject: Sent From GunBroker.com Message Forums by Doug Wilson
    Date: Wed, 12 Dec 2007 14:56:35 -0500

    Hello ECC

    You received the following message from: Doug Wilson (ThunderboltRanch@msn.com)

    At: http://forums.gunbroker.com/

    Eric -

    email me your phone number & I'll give you a call.

    Maybe we can figure something out.

    You must know that you are in my prayers, daily.

    My best to you,

    Doug
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  • thunderbolt
    Prayer sent. Hang in there. Sometimes God has to do something to get our attention. I won't go into details, but I know about having
    your world turned upside down. Stay strong in prayer.
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  • Oklahoma223
    When are at our weakest, God is at His strongest in our lives. You will be in my prayers. Don't give up. The storms of life are what strengthen and increase our faith. In my 33 years God has never left me or forsook me, and He will not leave you either. I love you brother. Jeff.
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  • Jacob2008
    Prayers sent.

    email me if you want to talk, eric
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  • tobefree
    My prayers are with you and will be everyday.
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  • Permanently deleted user
    Thank you folks...your prayers are appreciated more than you can know. The Lord will see me through this...He is doing something here...just wish I could learn what I need to learn and move on![:)] I've got a couple of good job prospects that I'm hoping come through...waiting to see if I get an interview for them. Our gun business is growing...not really earning an additional income (it's all going back into inventory). Thank you again for your prayers! I will respond to your emails asap.

    I also really appreciate hearing of your experiences and value the input I've received.[8D]
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  • rustyh
    Eric,
    I can offer you an ear to listen if you need it. I will be glad to give you a toll free number you can reach me most days. I am not a counselor or anything like that. I have a wife of 23 years and three children 21, 19 and 17. Not real smart but I do nave a bit of experience. Send me an email if you would like to talk. Rusty
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  • gjshaw
    Eric, Our prayers are with you and your family in your time of need. When you get thru this, and you will, send me a e-mail and I will set you up on some good R&R that you and your family needs. Gary
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  • The Dutchman
    You will get through this. GOD will make the difference between what you can do and what you need to do. You have the courage to say what we have all felt at one time or another about our own lives. [:)]
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  • MVP
    ECC
    I am far from a spiritual giant but while praying I remembered a verse in the Bible and when I looked it up in Ecclesiasties, I had to smile at how your GB name of ECC was the abreviation at the start of the verse.
    I know there are members here who have decided to send you some money, along with prayer, to help get things back on track for you, so just as this verse reads, please unashamedly accept the donations of help as an answer to your needs.

    Ecc 10:19 A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all [things].
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  • Marc1301
    quote:Originally posted by MVP
    ECC
    I am far from a spiritual giant but while praying I remembered a verse in the Bible and when I looked it up in Ecclesiasties, I had to smile at how your GB name of ECC was the abreviation at the start of the verse.
    I know there are members here who have decided to send you some money, along with prayer, to help get things back on track for you, so just as this verse reads, please unashamedly accept the donations of help as an answer to your needs.

    Ecc 10:19 A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all [things].

    MVP,......you said it better than I could.[;)]
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  • dolfan
    Eric,
    I am saddened to hear about the changes taking place in your life.

    Hang tuff...you got a family that loves you.

    I'll say a prayer for you.

    God Bless.
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  • medic07
    Eric
    Do not think that we would think less of you to ask for help in any way. You swallowed your pride and realized that your family and even your own well being was much more important than pride. I can only say that I think even more highly of you for this difficult step.

    It hurts to see my fellow soldiers/saliors/Marines/aimen is a crisis and facing difficult choices. Do not be afraid to take a step in any direction that is offered in the way of employment, now matter how trivial it may seem.

    You will be in prayers and I am sure that you will be guided through this trial and tribulation.

    I ask only one thing of you. Do not think that hurting yourself would solve any problems. That is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and touches on more lives than just those immediately around you.

    Stay strong brother. You will rise above this too.

    Dan
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  • ccddbb95448
    Ecc your e-mail set up by gunbroker is not working.
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  • zink
    I would like to make something VERY clear. I have lost my father and a brother who took their own lives. My wifes mother did the same. There is not one minute of one day that either one of us would rather have a paycheck than not to have or lost family members with us by our sides. This is something that LIVES for a lifetime long after death. Eric, sure your kids won't have memories of a Christmas full of gifts, but they will have them of a Christmas full of love instead one of loss. I shed tears all the time wishing but I know they would want me to carry on.

    Dig deep and have faith in the LORD. I relish the hard times because they make me appreciate the good more. Your family loves you no matter what the pay is, I've never even seen one for the love rendered, just work. After all isn't Christmas about love, NOT presents

    This was very hard to talk about and have done so to a handfull of people in the last 20 years ( Jan 18, 1998). The hurt goes that deep.

    Honest prayers and offers to do without so yours can have.

    Lance

    Sorry for the rant, but I guess I needed this more than I thought. Got alot off of my chest. Thanks, looks like this thread helped more than one person.
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  • dan55362
    My father died when I was very young and money was really tight. I remember our first Christmas without Dad, My mother didn't have 2 nickels to rub together but she did her best to get us gifts. She wrapped up our favorite foods and that was what we had for supper. But what I remember the most was the look of disappointment on my mothers face that she didn't get us better gifts. That image is burned into my mind and I think about it every Christmas. Now I could care less about what I got for Christmas. All I really wanted for Christmas was for my mother to be happy. Even though I was young I understood what she was going through. I know how your feeling and I wont wish it on my worst enemy. Anyway no matter what you get your kids for Christmas hold your chin high because your kids know more about your situation than you may think. I don't come around this forum as often as some others so I cant say we are close friends, but I have read a lot of your posts and I can safely say you are a man of great character and I am sure things will work out for you in time. My prayers will go out to you and your family for this holiday season.
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  • Old hickory
    ECC : No way are you a failure man! You have accomplished a ton of things. You're one brave man. The fact that you have faith is even greater than what you already have done. God Bless you - I know you'll be fine. You're on my prayer list now - Hickory...
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