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I am humbled...and in a place I have never been...

Permanently deleted user
I have always been one to take care of my own...but I am at a point where I don't know if I can physically do it any more. I do not believe in gov't subsidies but Gulf War I has literally brought me to my knees. I can no longer make a living doing what I know how to do. I have been a custom builder for the past 12 years and I started up our gun business to (hopefully) be able to take over when I could no longer do construction...unfortunately that day came sooner than i had expected. I can no longer do it...and I'm only 36 years old. I feel like such a failure. I've been trying to find another way to make a living...anything that I can do, but with no luck. Most of you guys are proud men...like I used to be...try to imagine what it might feel like for your daughter to have just had a birthday and you were not able to buy her a present...on top of that, Christmas is just around the corner...the only presents under the tree will be from friends or family. IF God does not work a miracle, we will not have a home or business within a few weeks.

Folks, please pray for me and my family. The pain is getting to be so much...and I'm afraid I'm losing my mental faculties...I don't know how much time I have left and it's hard...I still have a family that I need to take care of. I could really use your prayers people.

Some of you may not understand that I come from a very proud family...a family where we do not ask for help...or prayer...a family where we've always been able to "make it happen". You may not understand that I've always been a person that thought I would always have an answer...

I'm in a place now that I've never been. I need prayer. I need for the Lord to provide another occupation that I can provide for my family in. I have not worked for someone else in so long that I'm not sure where to go. I can no longer do construction and I really need for the Lord to open another door.

Would you guys please join me in prayer, in agreement, that the Lord would work a miracle in my life. I don't know how much longer I have left, but I would really like to have the opportunity to provide for my family while I am still on this earth.

I don't expect some of you to ever understand what I'm talking about. Those of you that have known me for the past several years can probably understand where I'm coming from (I've been humbled).

I really do not know if I should post this...I have never admitted such failure in my life...who of you would have ever thought that at age 36, you would barely be able to function in a normal capacity...certainly not me....and I keep looking for an alternative...please keep me and my family in prayer. God is able to handle my situation. He can carry me through it. I just pray that He enables me to provide for my family before I go.

There are some who will probably think less of me for posting this thread...and for that, I apologize. For the rest, I am speaking my heart and I just do not know what to do.

If all you Christians will pray for me and my family, I know miracles can and will happen.

I am ashamed and humbled to have to come before you like this...but your prayers will work...

Thank you...and please forgive my moment of weakness

Folks...I've been sitting here trying to decide whether or not to post this thread...but you know what...if I can get 2 or 3 people who will truly pray for me about this matter, I could care less about how it makes me look. Prayer is powerful and effective. This old "proud" soldier has been humbled...
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Comments

119 comments

Date Votes
  • rong
    When my kids were three and 5 ,
    I was having a difficult time .
    I sold every firearm i owned except
    for a S&W mod 36 to pay bills and buy
    presents.
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  • gearheaddad
    You've recieved alot of love and support along with some wonderful "life suggestions and ideas". I wish you luck and will pray for you and your family.
    Merry Christmas,
    Ed
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  • firechief
    Prayers sent from Indiana!!!!!!!!!
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  • ObiWan
    God works in amazing ways.

    I was in your shoes 2 years ago after being temporarily medically retired from Active Duty. Sold everything we had and we moved to Guam so my wife could support us by teaching.

    I am still in pain...but due to the warmer weather here I am better off....and I ended up with a new occupation that is tolerable.

    You are not alone. Never forget that.

    You are in our prayers. I personally pray that you find 1 VA Doctor that will prescribe pain medication if there is such a thing.[V]
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  • tacking1
    two years ago, I lost my family's business, was arrested for failure to pay sales tax, and lost my mother....all in a one month period.

    Life stinks sometimes.

    I had two choices, quit or get. I chose get.

    At 45 years old with three children, I am completely starting over.
    It feels great. I have found strength I never knew I had, and abilities. It's tough changing your life.

    Eric, I won't pray for you, that is passive. You are a strong man with great ability. Dry your eyes and get back in the game and DO NOT dwell on yesterday.

    Thomas Pittard
    Your Friend
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  • gagirl
    Prayers sent.
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  • GuvamintCheese
    quote:Originally posted by ECC
    Zink...

    quote:At one point I was so low I didn't want to live[V].

    I can relate.[V]
    Eric, this is the season that magnifies problems. Get the holidays behind you for now. January 2nd, 2008 is a new beginning. Give yourself next year to to figure out your path. You owe it to your family there, and your family here!

    PS I am the oldest of 5 children. There were some Christmas's when there was very little to go around. Kids are resiliant! Give them your love, and let them watch you Pick yourself up in 2008. It will be the best present you have ever given.
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  • tomahawk
    ecc, prayers are with you my friend, ive been there, and sold every material thing i owned except my most treasured family heirlooms. the bible teaches those who believe to ASK. ASK and it shall be delivered. but you must Ask. do not be afraid to for we have all stumbled, it is not failure, it is just life. visit your local social security office and apply for your disability, you have earned it. ASK. call the disabled american veterans help hotline,to help get your disabitities pension going, # in idaho is 208-529-2697 state commander, doug stewart. when you have gone as far as you can physically, get what is coming to you. ASK. there is no shame in getting help , haven't we all prayed? now get busy soldier, i did it and i,m still working after a broke back, be a superintendant,check out the folks on here that do computer work, maybe they can steer you to work. get the help around you . just ASK[;)][:D][:D]
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  • mongrel1776
    This too shall pass. I hate cliches, but this one has defined my life. Looking back, what seemed the end of life as I knew it, at the time, was always the start of something new and better. I know this does nothing to ease the pain of the moment -- I still get sick to my stomach with nerves for days on end, even knowing that my doubt and despair are uncalled-for, because I know I'll get through in better shape than I was when I started.

    As a fellow proud man -- I know you will do what it takes to find the answer to your troubles, and work it out, while others would be still sitting, waiting for someone else to do it for them. Your pride is a reward in itself, because you'll know you've earned it.

    Not much on praying for specific things. God knows better than I do what we need and what's best, and for me to ask for this, that, or the other would be to imply that I don't trust His wisdom. I will pray that what's right for you, comes your way in the time it's needed, and that your strength, patience, and faith don't fail you.

    The suggestions as to various places to look for help in turning a new page in your life -- don't let pride make you foolish. You served this country and you've paid your own way and that of others many times over, through your taxes. There's no shame in claiming something that you have by-God bought and paid for, long since.

    You were right to post and tell us of your troubles. Far from being weakness or shame, it's one of the toughest things a strong and proud person can do, to simply say, "I need help." It's a measure of your willingness to do what you have to, for yourself and your family, that you came out and said it.
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  • deputydog214
    Prayers sent
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  • bigcitybill
    Peace of the Lord to you Eric
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  • Queen of Swords
    Eric,
    I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It saddens me to think of the brave men and women like you who served their contry who are faced with having to make choices between surviving and living.
    I also have a little experience with being in desperate situtions you feel you have little control over, and where you know your life will never be the same. It is both frightening and humbling.
    The words from another topic keep repeating in my head in this instance, "Everything happens for a reason."
    Another phrase that comes to mine is from my mother, "When the Lord closes a door, he opens a window."
    Stay strong, take it day by day, and keep moving forward, even if you are not sure what you are moving toward. You are a good and decent person. I believe that what comes around goes around. The future holds better things for you that you cannot even imagine yet.
    You know I'm not a praying person in the Christian sense of the word, but I do believe in the power of having the good thoughts and well wishes of other's on your side.
    You can add mine to your list.
    Andrea
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  • Dakota308
    you should never be ashamed to ask for prayer.

    you will recieve many prayers from me
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  • Permanently deleted user
    Eric,

    There is no shame in reaching out to fellow Christians for prayer and fellowship in times of trouble.

    I bowed my head and offered them up for you in detail.

    Don't lose hope and hang on to your faith, no matter what happens. We all know that things, no matter how dismal, tend to work out for the best in the long run.

    In having a good man like yourself, how can your family lose? Times may be rocky, but you have each other and you WILL climb back from it.

    Take care and God Bless,
    Jeff
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  • Forkliftking
    I'm not a strong believer in prayer. As a desert storm vet. myself, I dont believe in GWS. But I do believe kids need a christmas. If you need some cash to buy her some presents, just email me your address. I can spare a c-note or so to help you out in your time of need. Just let me know. Mike.
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  • susie
    Eric, to add to what I said earlier, do not let the pressures of the commercialization of the season leave you wanting. Cliches have a place: Jesus is the reason for the season. It's not about what is under the tree, but who is around the tree.

    When my hubbie returned from the Gulf and we went on to our next duty station we did not anticipate that within four years he would be off active duty looking for a new career. He worked at a gas station part time and the Post Office part time to keep us fed, clothed and sheltered. With four kids and me working a term position for the government we did not know what the outcome would be. God sent us an opportunity to return to our home state through my job. The hubbie followed me to Arkansas where the kids were finally able to get to know their family.

    It was a struggle, but each door opened a new opportunity. The hubbie has gone from being a part time clerk with the Post Office to being a supervisor. Also, the kids were able to hunt, fish and spend some wonderful time with my parents before they passed away.

    God has a plan. TRUST HIM.
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  • Sav99
    Eric, I've added you to my daily prayer list. In fact I was going to send you an e mail in the next few days to follow up. I'll continue to pray for you and your family. GOD has a plan for you, it's hard to see now I'm sure, but He does. Paul said it well; "when I am weak, I am very strong."
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  • GUNFUNCO
    Prayer sent.
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  • 11echo
    ECC ..."God helps those who help themselves"! ...You say you worked in construction, WHY throw that all away? There are 3 aspects of any building effort ...engineering, design/drafting, and fabrication. If the physical effort is too much for you why not go into another section? If you've got the time, money, and smarts I would suggest the engineering section. BUT if you need something "fast" I would suggest the design/drafting section. You'll need at least 2 drafting courses, and 2 AutoCAD classes. You could get these at local Jr. college. Then you could look for a job, and in most parts of the country, these types of jobs are HOT! I would suggest staying in the same discipline that you did in construction, so you can use your experience! You think you can't draw? ...or read a drawing? That's ALL covered in the classes you would be taking. And with your VALUABLE experience, you could move up "the ladder" quickly! I find now days the "computer jockeys" don't know how to put a bolt and nut together. So your experience would take you a LONG way!
    I'm a BIG believer in the saying "IF there is a will, there is a WAY"!
    My best to you and your family in this holiday season!
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  • Flyin_Paulie
    Eric,
    I can only imagine how hard it was to post about this. Many of us have spent our lives doing the things that good men do without holding out their hand. I firmly believe that, when circumstances dictate, you seek help. That is what we here on GB are here for. It takes a big man to do what you have done.[:)]

    Many of here have gone through what you are going through and for whatever it's worth, we managed to come out for the better. In 1996 my wife and I had to uproot and fly to the San Francisco bay area for me to have a heart transplant. To make a long story short, neither of us could work (wife had to be a caregiver) for two years. Because of this, we were essentially broke and had no idea how we were going to survive. I have always considered myself to be a proud, self sufficient man and a good provider to my family. As you can imagine, we were devastated (and scared to death). Without going into many details, we were able to pull ourselves up and eventually get back to a good life.

    I am here if you want to e-mail or speak on the phone and I wish you the best in the meantime.
    Paul ppaxton1@msn.com
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  • steeltoe1978
    ECC, I'm very sorry to hear of your situation, and it must have taken a lot for you to post it all here. First of all, that you for your service to our Country. There is no shame in seeing if you qualify for any type of disability payment from serving in Gulf War I. You served your Country, and the government should be willing to help you for it if you qualify. Again, there's no shame in asking.
    One thing that you may want to consider is making the most of the skills that God gave you. Since you've been a custom builder for 12 years, you know what you're doing. However, since you can no longer do custom building work on a large scale, you may want to consider applying your skills on a smaller scale that you can (I don't know the extent of your disability) handle. Instead of custom building full size houses, you could custom build doll houses, or dog houses, or play houses. Sell them locally, or set up a website and sell them all over. Heck, you could even make custom built wooden toys. With all the media frenzy over lead plastic stuff coming from China, they're in demand. Just the other day a friend of mine bought a wooden kitchen playset for his little girl. Whatever you decide, try to apply your God given skills in a capacity that you can handle. I wish you all the best, and I truly hope that everything will work out for you. I'll be praying for you as well.
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  • tacking1
    Eric...If you want someone to talk to, email me and I will send my phone #.

    I'd post it here but Mateo would be constantly calling for legal advice!
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  • Old-Colts
    Eric, it doesn't matter what the non-Christians believe, you are communicating with the Christians on the forum and we can truly understand the pain and emotional upheaval in your life. God will never put more on the faithful than they can bear, which sometimes isn't much comfort for those going through what you are going through, but the reality is we do have the strength to handle the difficult and sometimes dire situations.

    You and your family will be in my daily prayers!
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  • Gotteskrieger
    are you doing okay financialy?
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  • mateomasfeo
    I have been blessed with good health all my life, so it is difficult for me to identify first hand with what you are going through. I can only imagine it.

    I wish you the best, and while we have never met face to face, I consider you a friend. I am distressed at your situation. If I can help, let me know.

    In the mean time, you still have your family, so you are indeed a wealthy man.

    Good luck, bro.
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  • Queen of Swords
    quote:Originally posted by Old-Colts
    Eric, it doesn't matter what the non-Christians believe, you are communicating with the Christians on the forum and we can truly understand the pain and emotional upheaval in your life. God will never put more on the faithful than they can bear, which sometimes isn't much comfort for those going through what you are going through, but the reality is we do have the strength to handle the difficult and sometimes dire situations.

    You and your family will be in my daily prayers!



    Not trying to hijack the thread, but I feel the need to say this, and then let it go:

    I was not trying to offend anyone by my previous post, and if my "non Christain" thoughts offended anyone, I truly apologize.
    Eric, in spite of our many and sundry differences of opinions in almost every matter, has always treated me with respect. He can either choose or not choose to accept my well-wishes, and I will not be in the least offended, but I wanted to throw them out to him and his family all the same.

    Carry on...
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  • hisbigbootygirl
    I am praying for you ECC...
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  • He Dog
    Eric, you know me of old, and for you a prayer will be said, maybe several.
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  • xbcrick
    Eric, I don't know you nor do you know me. But we are Christians brothers throw Christ. I will be praying for you. After reading this post I believe your salvation is in the right place. So I will be praying for your healing and that God will go before you and prepare the way for your new exciting career. I will also be praying that your family will be blessed abundantly this Christmas. You have nothing to apologize for.
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  • bhale187
    I wish you and your family well in these difficult times, prayer sent.
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