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I am humbled...and in a place I have never been...

Permanently deleted user
I have always been one to take care of my own...but I am at a point where I don't know if I can physically do it any more. I do not believe in gov't subsidies but Gulf War I has literally brought me to my knees. I can no longer make a living doing what I know how to do. I have been a custom builder for the past 12 years and I started up our gun business to (hopefully) be able to take over when I could no longer do construction...unfortunately that day came sooner than i had expected. I can no longer do it...and I'm only 36 years old. I feel like such a failure. I've been trying to find another way to make a living...anything that I can do, but with no luck. Most of you guys are proud men...like I used to be...try to imagine what it might feel like for your daughter to have just had a birthday and you were not able to buy her a present...on top of that, Christmas is just around the corner...the only presents under the tree will be from friends or family. IF God does not work a miracle, we will not have a home or business within a few weeks.

Folks, please pray for me and my family. The pain is getting to be so much...and I'm afraid I'm losing my mental faculties...I don't know how much time I have left and it's hard...I still have a family that I need to take care of. I could really use your prayers people.

Some of you may not understand that I come from a very proud family...a family where we do not ask for help...or prayer...a family where we've always been able to "make it happen". You may not understand that I've always been a person that thought I would always have an answer...

I'm in a place now that I've never been. I need prayer. I need for the Lord to provide another occupation that I can provide for my family in. I have not worked for someone else in so long that I'm not sure where to go. I can no longer do construction and I really need for the Lord to open another door.

Would you guys please join me in prayer, in agreement, that the Lord would work a miracle in my life. I don't know how much longer I have left, but I would really like to have the opportunity to provide for my family while I am still on this earth.

I don't expect some of you to ever understand what I'm talking about. Those of you that have known me for the past several years can probably understand where I'm coming from (I've been humbled).

I really do not know if I should post this...I have never admitted such failure in my life...who of you would have ever thought that at age 36, you would barely be able to function in a normal capacity...certainly not me....and I keep looking for an alternative...please keep me and my family in prayer. God is able to handle my situation. He can carry me through it. I just pray that He enables me to provide for my family before I go.

There are some who will probably think less of me for posting this thread...and for that, I apologize. For the rest, I am speaking my heart and I just do not know what to do.

If all you Christians will pray for me and my family, I know miracles can and will happen.

I am ashamed and humbled to have to come before you like this...but your prayers will work...

Thank you...and please forgive my moment of weakness

Folks...I've been sitting here trying to decide whether or not to post this thread...but you know what...if I can get 2 or 3 people who will truly pray for me about this matter, I could care less about how it makes me look. Prayer is powerful and effective. This old "proud" soldier has been humbled...
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Comments

119 comments

Date Votes
  • select-fire
    I understand exactly where you are. Been there when I was 35. Walked away from a good job cause it was wearing me out and tearing my family apart. Lord works in strange ways. Simply you are being tested. Stand up and do the challenge . It is time for you to walk away from contruction and find another road. You will.
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  • pitbud5
    Prayers sent.
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  • spurgemastur
    Eric, you know what I do and don't believe. I'll say a prayer anyway.

    That said let me add: there's no shame in asking for help or support.
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  • Permanently deleted user
    quote:Originally posted by spurgemastur
    Eric, you know what I do and don't believe. I'll say a prayer anyway.

    That said let me add: there's no shame in asking for help or support.


    Spurge...that means more to me than you might ever know...and I'll have you know that I've gone before my Lord and asked for your salvation...that He may open your eyes to the Truth. You are a true friend and I look forward to the day I can meet you in person.
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  • Permanently deleted user
    quote:Originally posted by select-fire
    I understand exactly where you are. Been there when I was 35. Walked away from a good job cause it was wearing me out and tearing my family apart. Lord works in strange ways. Simply you are being tested. Stand up and do the challenge . It is time for you to walk away from contruction and find another road. You will.


    I can only hope...thank you.
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  • swamp_thing
    Eric, I too can feel to some extent your pain and suffering in this situation. My working days came to an end about ten years ago from various physical ailments. I have sent prayer for you and yours and will continue to do so. You sir are correct that there will be those that feel the need to judge you in your situation. There will, however, be many more that are understanding of your current and future hardships and they will be the ones you want to listen to. Friend, there is a way to get through this and you will find the way. God takes care of those that are true to him. It might not be in the way we expect or in the time frame that we would like, but he will see you and yours through this. Stand proud, with your head high as there is no shame in honestly being no longer able to preform as you did. One door closes, yet another opens. You will find that door. Let God be with you and yours and give you the wisdom and strength to carry on.
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  • Permanently deleted user
    quote:Originally posted by swamp_thing
    Eric, I too can feel to some extent your pain and suffering in this situation. My working days came to an end about ten years ago from various physical ailments. I have sent prayer for you and yours and will continue to do so. You sir are correct that there will be those that feel the need to judge you in your situation. There will, however, be many more that are understanding of your current and future hardships and they will be the ones you want to listen to. Friend, there is a way to get through this and you will find the way. God takes care of those that are true to him. It might not be in the way we expect or in the time frame that we would like, but he will see you and yours through this. Stand proud, with your head high as there is no shame in honestly being no longer able to preform as you did. One door closes, yet another opens. You will find that door. Let God be with you and yours and give you the wisdom and strength to carry on.


    Thank you...I know what you speak is true...I just do not know how. God is able to deliver my family through this...and perhaps even me, although it seems as if my time here is very short...I have never been so humbled...I just want to make sure I provide a way for my family. Any and all prayer will be appreciated more than you could ever have imagined.
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  • MVP
    Any help I can be just ask, but for now I can stand with you in prayer.
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  • SG
    ECC, I dont know you personally or your true situation but you seem to have a strong character from reading your past posts.Keep your head up and be persistant and things will work out for the better.Good luck and prayers sent to you my friend.
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  • Permanently deleted user
    Thank you SG!
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  • Permanently deleted user
    quote:Originally posted by MVP
    Any help I can be just ask, but for now I can stand with you in prayer.



    There is not anything more than someone could ask...Thank you MVP!
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  • LOKO383
    ERIC,.like you I also had a career taken away from me due to health reasons,..I was also like you in the fact that I couldn't bring my self to ask for help or prayer,but there came a day when I lost my sight from diabetic retinopathy,that humbled me quick,I had to ask for help to walk through the house even,..Eric,I reach out to you and yours,know this that the Lord will only give you what HE knows you can handle,..as others have said here,if there's anything we can do to help..don't be afraid or ashamed to ask brother,..this world isn't as big as it seems sometime,.the Lord is watching out for you,keep the faith now more than ever,you know HE works in strange ways,yours has yet to be presented to you..I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers daily and put you on our prayer list at church,miracles happen every second,..I am living proof,the one thing that kept my sanity and faith was the love of my family,.rest in that Eric..they are there for you,and keep leaning on the everlasting love of the Lord,..he knows your plea and hears your frustrations..ye too shall overcome..feel free to email me for my phone no.anytime if you want to talk,,I have been down a long road that was dark and had no end,He kept me here for a reason and He will help you, my days are oh so bright now..I live each day as it was my last..If we can help,.. you..have to let us....best...Randy..[;)]
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  • Blade Slinger
    Hang in there, your past proves you are made of good stuff,we are all tested from time to time. (Prayers sent) and will help in any way I can.
    SB
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  • ww2buff9067
    Prayers up, and I would really encourage you to be open to any and all provision channels that may come up. God has something for you and your family. Also, Romans 8:1 says there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ. When the feelings come to you that you can't provide for your family and that you're worthless, and all those other condemning thoughts, remind yourself that there is no condemnation in God. He's got your best interests at heart.

    Hope this helps you, let us know if there's anything else we can do...

    Mike
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  • Madman
    ECC;
    As SG mentioned I don't know you personally, but have savoured your posts over the years. As my lil brother always says if you fall flat on your face...at least you are still moving forward. Pick yourself up dust yourself off and start all over again. At 33 my X started servicing the local populace and I went out the door. Lost my job had my Harleys and the shirt on my back period...very low point in my life.
    God sent me an angel who has been with me 22 years and counting...we have endured 2 years unemployed 7 kids and all the tests that come along with it. As a Mechanical Engineer, she encouraged me to open a gunsmith shop in '94. While it is not my main money maker it has helped along the way.
    You say construction is out for you. If I remember correctly are you not also a 3rd generation Gunsmith? With all those skills how about teaching others at a Tech School or Junior college? I taught Engineering and automotive mechanics which brought us through some tough times. At 56 I question whether or not I can continue also ,in need of two hips and a new back, just moving is a challenge...
    You have a computer...it has so many uses...Learn AutoCad do design work at home. Chronical your gunsmith knowledge, your construction knowledge...
    It is so easy to get down on yourself....fight that urge stand tall and face the new day with courage and belief that while God is closing this door He has many new and interesting ones to open for you...just go find em with His guidance.
    May God bless you and keep you and your family in His hands.

    Paul
    Mountain Magic Gunsmithing
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  • zink
    Eric,

    First prayers are sent and believe in the Lord.

    I too lost my ability to work (3 back surgeries) in my job field (construction) when I was 38. The Departmrnt of Vocational Rehabilitation sent me through school. I went to Trinidad State for gunsmithing. This is not a handout, you have earned it through taxes and such, it is just time to reap what you have sewn.

    Keep your chin up, it will get better. At one point I was so low I didn't want to live[V]. I made it and all is brighter these days.

    Lance
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  • Ramtinxxl
    Eric: Someone wisely told me one day that failure is an event, not a person. YOU are not a failure. I'm fairly sure there are folks around you who would strongly agree. You've tried hard and done well in the past. You'll try harder and do even better in the future, with God's help. What you're going through right now is temporary. There is a reason for this season--and I'm not talking about a greeting card cliche--God demonstrated that HIS love and compassion were so enormous that the heavens could not contain them. Therefore he sent His Son to bring His love to our level. He's done it in your life and He'll do it again. Of course, you know this but sometimes we need reminding.

    I'm adding you to our church's prayer list and we'll lift you and your family up specifically in this matter. Be assured that our Father has NOT brought you this far to abandon you now. Be encouraged to, through prayer and self-examination, throw off everything that is NOT of God and to ask that He magnify everything that IS of Him in your life. Seek His face daily. And above all--TRUST HIM! Pick up the Word and do some studies in the letter to the Hebrews, especially chapter 11.

    Know that your brothers and sisters have been through this same trial and came out victoriously. You will do no less. We're praying for you and standing with you, even if from a distance.

    In Jesus,
    Martin
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  • Permanently deleted user
    Zink...

    quote:At one point I was so low I didn't want to live[V].

    I can relate.[V]
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  • FEENIX
    Amen! May God bless and watch over you and your family, esp. in time of needs. Be strong (mentally and spiritually). Prayers sent.

    God bless.
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  • dipits
    Prayers on the way for you and your family. Keep your faith.
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  • Permanently deleted user
    quote:Originally posted by Ramtinxxl
    Eric: Someone wisely told me one day that failure is an event, not a person. YOU are not a failure. I'm fairly sure there are folks around you who would strongly agree. You've tried hard and done well in the past. You'll try harder and do even better in the future, with God's help. What you're going through right now is temporary. There is a reason for this season--and I'm not talking about a greeting card cliche--God demonstrated that HIS love and compassion were so enormous that the heavens could not contain them. Therefore he sent His Son to bring His love to our level. He's done it in your life and He'll do it again. Of course, you know this but sometimes we need reminding.

    I'm adding you to our church's prayer list and we'll lift you and your family up specifically in this matter. Be assured that our Father has NOT brought you this far to abandon you now. Be encouraged to, through prayer and self-examination, throw off everything that is NOT of God and to ask that He magnify everything that IS of Him in your life. Seek His face daily. And above all--TRUST HIM! Pick up the Word and do some studies in the letter to the Hebrews, especially chapter 11.

    Know that your brothers and sisters have been through this same trial and came out victoriously. You will do no less. We're praying for you and standing with you, even if from a distance.

    In Jesus,
    Martin


    Thank you Martin...You guys have absolutely no idea of how much your prayer mean to me...I will study Hebrews tomorrow.
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  • FEENIX
    A Prayer For Courage

    Almighty God, who gives strength to the weak and upholds those who might fall, give me courage to do what is right, for those that trust in you have no need to fear.

    Make be brave to face any danger which may now threaten me.

    Give me the help that you have promised to those who ask it, that I may overcome my fears and go bravely forward.

    Fill me with courage, that nothing which is my duty to do, may be too hard for me. Let me put my trust in your power and goodness.

    Thank you my Lord.
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  • Horse Plains Drifter
    Praying for you and your family Eric. Hang tough.
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  • codenamepaul
    Prayers sent. The path chosen for you will become clear soon enough.
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  • rustyh
    We will pray for you and your family to stay close and celebrate God's great gift as a true family. Your measure as a Christian is through your heart not your vocation. That is a very difficult thing to remember each day. I have a number of friends and relatives that have "checked out" in many different ways. Their families would rather have their parent instead of the paycheck. Sort of hard to hug a paycheck. If you are looking for your reflection seek it in your families eyes not the world's expectations. Give your daughter your most valuable gift....your love and dedication as her father. I need to do a better job of that as well. I am sorry you are in a hard place now. We will pray for you tonight in our small group bible study.
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  • guns-n-painthorses
    Well I don't know about anyone else, but here's what I'd do. If I owned two business's like ECC does, I'd be looking to liquidate some stuff. Things are things. You can always replace them. One less gun, on less car, one less table saw. The important thing is during the hard times you stick together as a family. Hell, ya started with nothing once, you can do it again. Family, that will help you thru the tough times.

    And here's an idea. If the gun business ain't making it alone, maybe you might want to get into computer recycling. You can do it at home and people will give you the stuff just to get rid of it.

    There's been more than one time around here I had to sell my guns and guitars to make ends meet, and a lot of mac & cheese for supper, but we got thru.

    I don't know all the details of your situation. But it seems to me you have a good head on your sholders and I think you will get thru it.

    Prayers sent.
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  • zipperzap
    My father felt the sane as you do now - back in the winter of 1955.

    He faced the same problem(s) as you are facing.

    He had the same desire to stay where family and friends were.

    Instead of staying put praying he moved his family (and prayed)
    to a place where he could make a living and could rebuild his
    self-pride. He was always one of my heros because he was such a
    "can do/let's get it done/no lingering/no excuses' kind of
    guy.

    He moved us to where the work was - changed his job from heavy
    machine tool salesman to aerospace project manager.

    By doing that, he unknowingly taught my brother and me never
    to fear a new situation - accept the challange - and step right
    on up to it and take it on.

    There's a lot to be learned from my father. I've told and retold
    the story a thousand times to my four children and my grandchildren.

    Doesn't matter how big and powerful it is ... if you leave a stuck
    truck in a mud hole it ain't ever gonna move by itself - if you work
    at gettin the truck outta the hole ... it's gonna eventually continue
    along fine - just not there.
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  • slipgate
    I am not a praying person but I will ask my Catholic friend to lend a hand with the prayers. I wish you and your family the best. Hang in there!
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  • fastcarsgofast
    I don't have anything eloquent to say. So I'll just send a prayer.
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  • susie
    Prayers sent from Arkansas that with God's hand guiding you, you will find the answers you seek.

    Have you contacted the VA, the VFW, or Legion in your area? Are you GI Bill eligible and if so have you used it? Not only do you get tuition paid, a monthly per diem is paid as well. Subsitute teach on bad days (weather-wise that restrict construction).

    May God bless you and keep you in the palm of his hand, carrying you through these troubled times.

    Try these sites:

    http://acpol.army.mil/employment/

    http://jobsearch.usajobs.opm.gov/
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