Divorce in your area. Poll.
In the past few years I have seen a big increase in divorces among women in their mid 30's. in my area. Women who married young are hitting the 35 yo range and wanting out of marriages. It happened to me when I was 30. Cost me about $25,000 up front and still paying. A half of dozen of my friends have gone through it since then. Now my best friend is goinig through it. They just built a $325,000 home and have acquired many assets over the years. She has no explaination as to why she wants out other than she is just not happy. They have children involved also. He finally got a lawyer and found out is much better of financially than his "soon to be ex wife" told him he would be. She forgot to mention several items that they will have to split.
I could go on and on on this matter but my real question is are women in your area doing the same thing? What are some women thinking these days? Mid life crisis? Us men struggled through the first half of the marriage when it would have been easy to run, but when we settle down and get comfortable, the women want to split. To all the women on here, feel free to join in also. My best friend is heart broken and looking for some reasons as to why she refuses to try to work things out.
I could go on and on on this matter but my real question is are women in your area doing the same thing? What are some women thinking these days? Mid life crisis? Us men struggled through the first half of the marriage when it would have been easy to run, but when we settle down and get comfortable, the women want to split. To all the women on here, feel free to join in also. My best friend is heart broken and looking for some reasons as to why she refuses to try to work things out.
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quote:Originally posted by forkliftking
In the past few years I have seen a big increase in divorces among women in their mid 30's. in my area. Women who married young are hitting the 35 yo range and wanting out of marriages. It happened to me when I was 30. Cost me about $25,000 up front and still paying. A half of dozen of my friends have gone through it since then. Now my best friend is goinig through it. They just built a $325,000 home and have acquired many assets over the years. She has no explaination as to why she wants out other than she is just not happy. They have children involved also. He finally got a lawyer and found out is much better of financially than his "soon to be ex wife" told him he would be. She forgot to mention several items that they will have to split.
I could go on and on on this matter but my real question is are women in your area doing the same thing? What are some women thinking these days? Mid life crisis? Us men struggled through the first half of the marriage when it would have been easy to run, but when we settle down and get comfortable, the women want to split. To all the women on here, feel free to join in also. My best friend is heart broken and looking for some reasons as to why she refuses to try to work things out.
you got out cheap0 -
"Not happy" is a bogus excuse. Simple fact is that most people aren't "happy." Happiness is a much sought-after, and seldom achieved goal. We pursue happiness, but rarely find it. I think a certain degree of satisfaction and contentment is a more reasonable goal.
In a marriage, you make a deal, a commitment, a covenant before God to remain together for life. If you aren't being abused or cheated on, you should stick it out, IMNSHO.0 -
most that are divorcing is due to hidden affairs around here 0 -
quote:Originally posted by nunn
"Not happy" is a bogus excuse. Simple fact is that most people aren't "happy." Happiness is a much sought-after, and seldom achieved goal. We pursue happiness, but rarely find it. I think a certain degree of satisfaction and contentment is a more reasonable goal.
In a marriage, you make a deal, a commitment, a covenant before God to remain together for life. If you aren't being abused or cheated on, you should stick it out, IMNSHO.
this makes up a broad range of disqualifiers.0 -
I know, my ex. wanted out quickly. I played the sympathy card. I cried and begged all through the divorce. The day it was final, I paid cash for a new truck and had one hell of a house party that night. In our divorce papers she had it written that the cash in her possession was hers and the cash in my possession was mine. I agreed. She did that so she could keep that years tax return (I was out of town on business when the check came). She wasn't even smart enough to ask me how much money I had put back. She checked my wallet and only saw a few hundred bucks. Boy was she pissed when I pulled up to get my daughter in a new truck. When she found out it was paid for, I took one hell of a cussing. LOL 0 -
Mine cost $400.00 we used the same lawyer. we were poor as church mice and there was noting to split after five years of marriage. I re-married her about three months later. That was nearly 16 years ago. She still threatens to do it again about four times a year. oh, well at least the kids are grown. [:D] 0 -
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence!" ...Happened to me in 90, she just wasn't happy any more. We went to counselors, racked up a major bill there, but still no fix. I moved out to give her "some space" (on her urging). After a year she wanted to finalize it (told me the day I got back from my Dads funeral). I just hoped she'd see the light someday. I waited for her for one more years, but she found someone new and married him. About then I thought I needed to get on with my life. I found and married again about 5 years later.
The EX has had an "eventful second marriage! *G* She's thrown him out about 5 times now; the police have been called afew times too to break up fights. I did have 3 kids with the EX and they pass this stuff back to me. One time my first daughter had asked me why I didn't try to make up with the EX? That caught me flat footed, I've never tried to hide anything from them, but seems she was talking with her Mom and the EX was lamenting that we broke up! ...Seems she forgot to explain she was cheating on me at the time! (Found this out later). But I have moved on, I have a new life and a new wife that really loves me. Divorce isn't fair, but it is life. Best to accept it and move on with your life and not try to reclaim something that's not there for you. My $0.02, Good Luck!
PS ...best revenge; be come more successful with your new wife then with your EX! *G*0 -
quote:Originally posted by 11echo
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence!" ...Happened to me in 90, she just wasn't happy any more. We went to counselors, racked up a major bill there, but still no fix. I moved out to give her "some space" (on her urging). After a year she wanted to finalize it (told me the day I got back from my Dads funeral). I just hoped she'd see the light someday. I waited for her for one more years, but she found someone new and married him. About then I thought I needed to get on with my life. I found and married again about 5 years later.
The EX has had an "eventful second marriage! *G* She's thrown him out about 5 times now; the police have been called afew times too to break up fights. I did have 3 kids with the EX and they pass this stuff back to me. One time my first daughter had asked me why I didn't try to make up with the EX? That caught me flat footed, I've never tried to hide anything from them, but seems she was talking with her Mom and the EX was lamenting that we broke up! ...Seems she forgot to explain she was cheating on me at the time! (Found this out later). But I have moved on, I have a new life and a new wife that really loves me. Divorce isn't fair, but it is life. Best to accept it and move on with your life and not try to reclaim something that's not there for you. My $0.02, Good Luck!
PS ...best revenge; be come more successful with your new wife then with your EX! *G*
That is what I'm telling him.0 -
I think a lot of women want the same feeling that they had for the first couple of years of marriage. That excitement about new things, the passion, etc. You said it yourself that men tend to "settle down and get comfortable". Most of the time when this happens the little things that we used to do for them don't get done. Most of the time they are not all that hard to do, we just don't see them as necessary so we don't do them. Things like make a big deal about birthdays and special occasions, buying something for them "just because", having good old-fashioned bedroom romps, ect. Now, throw kids into the mix and it gets even harder.
That is why there is an increase in women cheating these days as well. Men work long hours to provide nice things for their families because for years we have been told that nice things are what make people happy. So, long hours, lack of "little things" and giving all of what little time you have to your children is what is leading to higher and higher divorce rates.
Marriage is about give and take, on both sides. Unfortunately, we have been bombarded for years by "society" that your personal happiness is more important than anything else. Divorce has become convienent and therefore it is seen as a first option instead of a last resort.
Sorry for the ramblings, it is just my opinion.0 -
My first divorce cost me $35.00 filing fee - I was in Law School - did it myself. She got half of the value of our equity in our house, about $6000, She got a set of service for twelve Noritake China, worth about $1000, an Electrolux vacuum cleaner, about $600, and her 1968 VW that I had built up form a piece of Junk to a rip-snorting California Style lowered and cleaned up NASTY, maybe had another $3000 in it. No Kids, so I got off real cheap.
I have observed that most young women of my acquaintance nowadays are looking for an "Exciting" mate, and/or one who will "Make pretty babies". Any Stable, Capable, Educated, Normal man is just not exciting, and loses out to the ex-con, beer swilling, fish-instead-of-work kinda S.H. And there are a lot of young women who don't mind making babies without marriage. They hang around as long as they are supported, but leave as soon as they think they have landed a better offer, or one more exciting. Lotsa young women seem to just want sperm donors, separate from exciting men, separate from financially secure men.
Just my take.0 -
quote:Originally posted by HandgunHTR52
I think a lot of women want the same feeling that they had for the first couple of years of marriage. That excitement about new things, the passion, etc. You said it yourself that men tend to "settle down and get comfortable". Most of the time when this happens the little things that we used to do for them don't get done. Most of the time they are not all that hard to do, we just don't see them as necessary so we don't do them. Things like make a big deal about birthdays and special occasions, buying something for them "just because", having good old-fashioned bedroom romps, ect. Now, throw kids into the mix and it gets even harder.
That is why there is an increase in women cheating these days as well. Men work long hours to provide nice things for their families because for years we have been told that nice things are what make people happy. So, long hours, lack of "little things" and giving all of what little time you have to your children is what is leading to higher and higher divorce rates.
Marriage is about give and take, on both sides. Unfortunately, we have been bombarded for years by "society" that your personal happiness is more important than anything else. Divorce has become convienent and therefore it is seen as a first option instead of a last resort.
Sorry for the ramblings, it is just my opinion.
thats why at least once a week ya gotta do em hard, and leave en lookin like an old popped football, with the lacing hangin out[;)][:D][:D][:D]0 -
My divorce ran 35K. Destroyed the assets we built. Fire sale on everything, boat, 5th wheel, 2 diesel trucks, house and all other assets we gathered.
I agree with handload, it seems when woman lose the excitement they start to run. Hence we see more older woman (aka cougars) running around with younger men. It's not about the stablity and financial security, it's about how much fun they can have at that moment. When they are old, gray, lonely and alone - they have no one else to blame.
Values have changed and that is the main reasons I will not get married again. I lost too much financially and emotionally to do it again. I will live with someone, but will never take that step again. What's mine is mine and what's her's is hers.
Divorce has changed me, I am not bitter just consider myself wiser.0 -
Divorce rate is over 50% here. Lots of single mothers. Many children have no father around at all, but kids don't really need a dad anyways do they? [:(][:(!] 0 -
National divorce rate is over 50 percent..
11% of the adult population is currently divorced.
25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime.
Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience.
SOURCE:http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm0 -
Lots of single divorced women I rent to. Most were beaten or had alcoholic husbands. 0 -
quote:but when we settle down and get comfortable
Read, "while you are doing the laundry, bring me another beer, this is a great game."0 -
quote:Originally posted by ThreeDollarBill
Fire sale on everything, boat, 5th wheel, 2 diesel trucks, house and all other assets we gathered.
I just wait for the fire sales.
Never know what you can pickenup......cheap. [}:)][:D][:D]0 -
I do a ton of divorces, and here's what I have come up with:
Women are programmed, whether by nature or society, to want to get married. They want a wedding, a family, etc.
The reality is often much, much different. It's hard having kids. It's hard to have to budget money. It's hard to come to grips that maybe this whole thing isn't what you thought it would me.
I don't think "happiness" is a bad reason to get out of a marriage. I also don't necessarily think that getting divorced will get you any closer to being happy; it depends on the person.
People have affairs all the time. It's almost a chicken and egg deal; did the affair cause the problem, or did the problem cause the affair.
I think the best thing to do is look at it as a new beginning, with an awful lot of wisdom thrown it. There is no reason that people should not try to be happy. You roll the dice, you take your chances. Sometimes people don't realize just how good they had it. Sometimes people don't realize how bad they had it either....0 -
quote:Originally posted by Jgreen
I do a ton of divorces, and here's what I have come up with:
Women are programmed, whether by nature or society, to want to get married. They want a wedding, a family, etc.
The reality is often much, much different. It's hard having kids. It's hard to have to budget money. It's hard to come to grips that maybe this whole thing isn't what you thought it would me.
I don't think "happiness" is a bad reason to get out of a marriage. I also don't necessarily think that getting divorced will get you any closer to being happy; it depends on the person.
People have affairs all the time. It's almost a chicken and egg deal; did the affair cause the problem, or did the problem cause the affair.
I think the best thing to do is look at it as a new beginning, with an awful lot of wisdom thrown it. There is no reason that people should not try to be happy. You roll the dice, you take your chances. Sometimes people don't realize just how good they had it. Sometimes people don't realize how bad they had it either....
spoken like a true attorney or politician for that matter. [}:)]0 -
quote:Originally posted by tomahawk
most that are divorcing is due to hidden affairs around here
75% of them here finds a guy that has better drugs and is a little more worthless than the one they have now.
quote:sav99 Posted - 12/14/2007 : 10:40:20 AM Divorce rate is over 50% here. Lots of single mothers. Many children have no father around at all, but kids don't really need a dad anyways do they?
NO they do not. California even went as far outlawing Mothers and Fathers in that commie state to save everyone the hassle of parenting.0 -
quote:She still threatens to do it again about four times a year. oh, well at least the kids are grown.
I don't handle ultimatums very well.0 -
quote:Originally posted by LesWVa
quote:Originally posted by tomahawk
most that are divorcing is due to hidden affairs around here
75% of them here finds a guy that has better drugs and is a little more worthless than the one they have now.
quote:sav99 Posted - 12/14/2007 : 10:40:20 AM Divorce rate is over 50% here. Lots of single mothers. Many children have no father around at all, but kids don't really need a dad anyways do they?
NO they do not. California even went as far outlawing Mothers and Fathers in that commie state to save everyone the hassle of parenting.
It's called trading UP... Keep em' happy and they won't !!
GW... Married 31 years..[;)][:D]0 -
Still married at 23 years and counting. Not sure why some days, I don't deserve it. Over half of our friends are getting divorced. Many after 20+ years. Can't say whose idea it was but there seems to be enough blame to go around. The men get leaner and dress better. The women firm up and wear tighter clothes. All of them seem to have an empty stare every now and again. Pretty much all of them had a affair with someone or something. 0 -
where i live divorce is extremely common. i believe about 60%. most remarry though. in addition, many choose to never get married. the bigger problem facing american today though is the women having children out of wedlock. i personally know about 15 females in the last 5 years to have children and not be married and have no intention of getting married and the father is never around. this is creating the biggest problem america will EVER face.
70% of black kids in america are born out of wedlock. 20% of white kids are born out of wedlock and the overall rate for america is 31% of children born out of wedlock. its CHILD ABUSE far great than molestation. its CHILD ABUSE and there is NO EXCUSE for it. its SIN0 -
Remember we have turned into a world where it is Me, Me ,Me and instant gratification. Few are willing to compromise any more.No relationship can stand without compromise. 0 -
It seems alot of women are in love with the idea of being "in love."
Some women also seem to "settle" when they notice their friends are all getting married, but they don't have any decent prospects for a husband.0 -
OOOOOOO!!! U young Bubblegumers will never learn[:D]
I always did the PRENUPTIAL MARRAGE THING [8D]
Here is one of mine in the rough
1 year..........250.00 6 made it this far[8D]
5 years.........5,000.00 2 made it this far[8D]
8 year..........10,000.00 1 made this far[:)]
12 years....1 car..20,000.00 0 made it this far[:)]
18 years..1 HOUSE..2 CARS..50,000.00 0 made it this far[:)]
20 years..2 houses..3 cars..1 boat..2 cannons and everything 0 made this far[8D][:)]0 -
quote:Originally posted by dakotashooter2
Remember we have turned into a world where it is Me, Me ,Me and instant gratification. Few are willing to compromise any more.No relationship can stand without compromise.
Very good words of wisdom. Thats why my new wife and I get along so good. The older I get, the less stubborn I become.0 -
The real problem with why marriages dissolve is "expectation." Men want a woman who will love them, be there for them and be understanding about the girlfriend. Woman don't expect that. Don 0 -
Dakotashooter2 got it right. Priorities in our society are all wrong. Too materialistic, too in love with a phony world created by Hollywood that doesn't exist.
My first wife was a bitch, and she married an idiot. Jesus hates divorce, and so do I, but like war and brain surgery sometimes it's the only option. I am now happily married to my best friend, and married forever.0
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