What would you do if an older person hit on your..
Lets just say you were the parent of a SIXTEEN yr old girl. She is VERY pretty and comes around your business from time to time. Everyone kids a little about your "hot" daughter....but you are very clear that she is VERY off limits. Since the younger guys range from 19 to 26 at the store there is bound to be a bit of flirting and playing around when she comes around.
Here comes the kicker....
What if you found out that one of the guys had actually texted your daughter......trying to get her to SNEAK OUT from a friend's house and had promised things like drinking and maybe other things.
I want to say a teeny bit of this problem is the wilder nature of the little angel I am blessed with and I am CLEARLY trying to handle all that comes with raising a head-strong girl in today's world.
BUT.... The young man who is old enough to know better I think is more to blame for this wrong doing and is due a huge WAKE-UP. OR.... at least a small explination of just what can and will happen to him if he doesn't realize exactly how wrong what he tried was and realizes that breathing in and out is a gift from me from this day foreward and if he chooses to he can refuse this gift and call my daughter again. The choice is his.
Here comes the kicker....
What if you found out that one of the guys had actually texted your daughter......trying to get her to SNEAK OUT from a friend's house and had promised things like drinking and maybe other things.
I want to say a teeny bit of this problem is the wilder nature of the little angel I am blessed with and I am CLEARLY trying to handle all that comes with raising a head-strong girl in today's world.
BUT.... The young man who is old enough to know better I think is more to blame for this wrong doing and is due a huge WAKE-UP. OR.... at least a small explination of just what can and will happen to him if he doesn't realize exactly how wrong what he tried was and realizes that breathing in and out is a gift from me from this day foreward and if he chooses to he can refuse this gift and call my daughter again. The choice is his.
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start NOW
1 get a printout of her text, or at least numbers coming in and out of her phone, with photos of the messages, this will show how serious you are, and you may need it later
2 look up the age of sexual consent in your state, most are 17
3 some states no longer have statutory rape laws, but have replaced it with harsher crimes, and punishments, find them for your location, print them out0 -
LF, what if you found out your husband was being hit on by younger women all the time, and he just happened to give one of these ladies his phone number? You hear him talking or see a text he sent replying to her invitation to meet on the sly. Is it her fault he gave the number, replied and gave indication he was considering the offer? Or would all HEII break loose upon him???
Now, know this, I too suffer the same problem with a 15 y/o that is drop dead gorgeous and has the body to go with it. She could pass for 20. Most folks assume she is older than my 19 y/o. She has her priorities straight and understands what the consequences would be should she stray from the standards we have set for her. She attends church on Sundays and Wednesdays, is a member of the softball team. Is on the varsity dance team and maintains a straight "A" average. She has her sites set on a career in pediatrics, has picked her university and is aiming for athletic and academic scholarships. This is not because we control the behavior of those around her, we control her behavior.
She is not allowed to date and will only be allowed on chaperoned dates once she turns 16.
When she is hit on by older guys, she in no uncertain terms explains to them that she is 15 y/o and if they should continue their behavior toward her they are proving they are immature and unworthy of her attention.
We treat her as if she has the brains and the ability to make good decisions, but do not allow her into situations that could compromise her standards, temptation is hard to resist.
Good luck.0 -
Show him some of oyur firearms? Do you own a 44Magnum? 0 -
quote:Originally posted by bigdaddyjunior
Tell him he can wait two years or do twenty. Either way I'd fire the sneaky little twerp and tell her he is off limits until she has a place of her own. He snuck behind your back once, he will do it again.
And so will she.
C'mon, guys, do ya shoot your dog for barking?
Clouder..0 -
This was a real situation that I had to deal with:
When VERY innocent and naive Daughter Andrea was a sophomore, a good looking, smooth talking third year senior started sniffing around her. She was 15 and he was 18. I decided that I needed to intervene. I called him and told him I wanted to meet him at the county park, half way between us for a "talk".
His mom told him not to go, so I invited myself to their house to have a long, pointed conversation with mom, dad, and boy. I made it clear that I was nuts, and if he continued he would disappear forever.
Never again was he a factor in her life.
To this day my Daughter does not know I did this.
I am absolutely sure that that that was the best way to handle it.
Doug0 -
You have two problems. Him and her.
Him.
1. Some people won't cross social lines because they consider them wrong.
2. Some people won't cross social lines because they are afraid they will get caught and or punished.
3. Some people will cross social lines because they don't think they will get caught.
4. Some people will cross social lines even though they know they probably will get or will get caught.
Which one do you think he is? I am certain he is not #1. If he is #2 call him into the office, hopefully with a Sheriff as a witness, and explain the consequences to him and have the sheriff explain the legal conquences to him.
If he is a #3 or #4 do the same as #2 plus fire him asap.
Her
1. If you do the above and word gets out then your daughter's popularity will fall! The males in group #1 and some in group #2 won't care and won't be a problem. The males in the other groups will look else where for recreation with out the big risk and big price.0 -
Part him up and ship him in various... boxes... [:o)] 0 -
quote:Originally posted by HappyNanoq
Part him up and ship him in various... boxes... [:o)]
WHY DO THAT? TAKE HIM OUT TO A NATIONAL FOREST AND HE WILL BECOME CRITTER BAIT!0 -
You can get rid of him in any way you wish, but the problem really isn't going to go away. There will always be the proverbial "wrong type of boy" waiting in the wings. Concerning yourself with this young man and what to do about him seems to be a bit like using a bandaid to staunch a hemmorage.
It doesn't seem to me that punitive measures have much of an effect on her. Instead of always needing to be on the defensive, you need to be more proactive and realistic. You need to talk to her about being responsible for herself and her future, and the possible repercussions of her actions. As susie said, one you can begin treat her as though you expect that she will make resonsible choices, she will begin to do so.
If you have a 16 year old who you describe as a "head-strong, somewhat wild-child," then that is her nature. You aren't going to change it now. The time for that past about 4 to 6 years ago.
Believe me, I WAS the head-strong, wild child, and my true nature hasn't really change much at all.[:D]0 -
I've had to deal with this once. My 16yr old daughter had a job at
a local restaraunt, and a slightly older married man talked her into
taking a ride with him after work. Well, i guess some of the locals
seen them together and we got a phone call.
At that time i didn't know just what she had in mind...if she was
going to try to leave town with him or what, so i went up there
and disabled her car, so that would be more difficult at least.
Well, she did turn up late that night, and they had "just went and
parked n the woods and drank a little"...mmm hmmm
The next day I go back up to get her car (which was parked at his house)
and somehow had a few guns in the Jeep. When i get to his place
his wife was in the process of kickin' his arse out, and there were
several cops there. The cops look at me, and look at the guns
laying on the seat. We just sat there chatting for a bit, until a
cop came from inside, and said "he won't come out as long as you're
here.
So I go down to the station to see what they have to say concerning
this. They told me "that although illegal, that not much would
likely be done at that age". They said they did tell the guy that
"it would probably be best if he didn't come back in that town...
ever". And as far as i know, he hasn't.
All turned ut well in the end. She's now a responsible, married, 28yr
old, mother of two.[:)]0 -
As a parent of two teen age girls I wish you good luck . I have been trying for the last couple of years to find a way to keep them straight and to hold on to my
sanity
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Best of luck with your problem. The answers are all laid out in the above posts.
THE REAL sucky problem is a culture that deifies horney louts that work on girls till they give in..after all, the girl has to fight her own hormones...AND the slime=bag working her.
Then...after having their way with 2 or four or a dozen girls...said lout seeks out a sweet thing unsullied by the animals for marriage...0 -
quote:Originally posted by LaidbackDan
Tell him that you hope he has a multi-talented colon, because in the future that's where he's going to learn to text from with his newly relocated cell phone.
Now thats funny [:D][:D][:D]0 -
Hell, LF, just take him into the gun shop and tell him to pick out a fashionable shotgun for his wedding. 0 -
All I get these days is..."buy me this...buy me that"...and an occational huff or roll of the eyes. 0 -
Find out the age of consent law in Alabama. If she is under it, take the phone to the police and let THEM have a nice chat with the young man. However, the age of consent in KY is 16, so legally, the guy was OK (if they were in KY). Morally, well, that's another story altogether! 0 -
LF-
We have a saying in my parts
17 will get ya 20. (Years) remind them of that.[;)][:)][^]0 -
quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
All I get these days is..."buy me this...buy me that"...and an occational huff or roll of the eyes.
A difficult age (to deal with) for sure!! Can't believe i get
have to go through it againnn in about 7yrs.<sighhhhh>0 -
And while you are talking to him remind him that furnishing a minor with liquor is a jailable offense. And if it did happen you would be pushing for the max sentance (if he's still alive to serve). He was absolutly out of line and needs to be let know that in no uncertian terms. 0 -
Definitely an immature version of her beautiful mother.
You have your hands full..there can be no doubt.0 -
She's my sweetie....and this is why the sticky patch in my hair will probobly be here a while!!!! 0 -
Best take time to smell the roses a bit. If you are not a rose person..take a bubble bath.
We here don't want to lose you..carted off to the funny farm..OR spending all your time behind a counter.0 -
How old is the guy that texted her? is he 19 or 26? A 19 yo kid that is working is a gunshop? sounds like he has his head on a little straight, ya, the texting/communication was a little sneaky (keeping in mind he is the 19 yo) but a pretty girls smile will make a young man do some might stupid things, and 19 /16 is not much of a age gap.
I would do what I did with my daughter, tell him you know what is going on, give him a firm handshake, pull him close and wisper in his ear:
"If you make my daughter cry, I will make your momma cry when she see's what I have done to you"
Turn around and walk away, and don't say another word about it.
Don0 -
Hit them both where it hurts. Him...well, I think that's obvious. With her, she obviously lacks certain sensitive extremeties, so walk her out in the yard and make her watch while you torch the Beemer. Bonus points if you chant and dance around the fire. Make sure that ALL of the neighbors see.
She'll never get a date around there again.0 -
The 19 yr old went to her high school and had shown some interest in her I told him that "it isn't that I don't want you to date my daughter.....BUT I don't think you want to do the things that she is allowed to do such as: bowling, movies afternoons of you spending all the money she can get out of you before the early curfew she has..." I went on to say that he had gone into the age (post high school) where its mostly parties and trying to dang near kill yourself until you are in debt enough to be worried about it and I doubted that he wanted to slow down enough to have ANYTHING to do with her.
The one I have had the recent run in with is 26 and no matter what anyone says about "age of concent" she will not be running around with anyone old enough to have been her babysitter when she was 3!0 -
quote:Originally posted by dongizmo
How old is the guy that texted her? is he 19 or 26? A 19 yo kid that is working is a gunshop? sounds like he has his head on a little straight, ya, the texting/communication was a little sneaky (keeping in mind he is the 19 yo) but a pretty girls smile will make a young man do some might stupid things, and 19 /16 is not much of a age gap.
I would do what I did with my daughter, tell him you know what is going on, give him a firm handshake, pull him close and wisper in his ear:
"If you make my daughter cry, I will make your momma cry when she see's what I have done to you"
Turn around and walk away, and don't say another word about it.
Don
I have to admit LF, Me being a 20 year old guy myself, If was working for you and your daughter came up to me with her number. I would be REALY tempted to call that number, But i wouldn't because i know better.
But thats what seperates me from the other guys i know. Most of the guys i know wouldn't care what your wishes are, They'd take any chance they could get to get into your daughter's pants[:0]
BTW, Thats a realy good looking daughter you've got LF, I bet she looks just like her mother[;)]0 -
quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
The 19 yr old went to her high school and had shown some interest in her I told him that "it isn't that I don't want you to date my daughter.....BUT I don't think you want to do the things that she is allowed to do such as: bowling, movies afternoons of you spending all the money she can get out of you before the early curfew she has..." I went on to say that he had gone into the age (post high school) where its mostly parties and trying to dang near kill yourself until you are in debt enough to be worried about it and I doubted that he wanted to slow down enough to have ANYTHING to do with her.
The one I have had the recent run in with is 26 and no matter what anyone says about "age of concent" she will not be running around with anyone old enough to have been her babysitter when she was 3!
I would have a little talk with him, explain to him that only the lowest creatures poop where they sleep, and if he want to go anywhere in this world he better start living like a higher being......0 -
show him your gun collection[}:)] and a bloody baseball bat on the side 0 -
Seeing the picture, I guess your problems could be much worse. She is a cutie and you could easily have 10 or more guys chasing her around all with the same thing in mind.
Good luck, you're going to need it.[:D]
I started dating a 15 year old when I was 16 and now we have a 15 year old son dating a 14 year old (when her dad allows it) but it is only things like school events and bowling or other places that are in daylight and public. I would suggest the same.
If you try too hard to keep her boxed in, she will try to sneek around. Tell her to keep it to guys her age and to areas that you or others could check in on them and you will allow her some freedom. Tell her sneaking around will not make you happy and will result in more restrictions. If she shows good judgement, you will slowly allow more freedoms.0 -
LF-by the way, you never told us if the guy works for you or not.
Or maybe I missed it. But the original post was kind of vague.0
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