What would you do if an older person hit on your..
Lets just say you were the parent of a SIXTEEN yr old girl. She is VERY pretty and comes around your business from time to time. Everyone kids a little about your "hot" daughter....but you are very clear that she is VERY off limits. Since the younger guys range from 19 to 26 at the store there is bound to be a bit of flirting and playing around when she comes around.
Here comes the kicker....
What if you found out that one of the guys had actually texted your daughter......trying to get her to SNEAK OUT from a friend's house and had promised things like drinking and maybe other things.
I want to say a teeny bit of this problem is the wilder nature of the little angel I am blessed with and I am CLEARLY trying to handle all that comes with raising a head-strong girl in today's world.
BUT.... The young man who is old enough to know better I think is more to blame for this wrong doing and is due a huge WAKE-UP. OR.... at least a small explination of just what can and will happen to him if he doesn't realize exactly how wrong what he tried was and realizes that breathing in and out is a gift from me from this day foreward and if he chooses to he can refuse this gift and call my daughter again. The choice is his.
Here comes the kicker....
What if you found out that one of the guys had actually texted your daughter......trying to get her to SNEAK OUT from a friend's house and had promised things like drinking and maybe other things.
I want to say a teeny bit of this problem is the wilder nature of the little angel I am blessed with and I am CLEARLY trying to handle all that comes with raising a head-strong girl in today's world.
BUT.... The young man who is old enough to know better I think is more to blame for this wrong doing and is due a huge WAKE-UP. OR.... at least a small explination of just what can and will happen to him if he doesn't realize exactly how wrong what he tried was and realizes that breathing in and out is a gift from me from this day foreward and if he chooses to he can refuse this gift and call my daughter again. The choice is his.
0
-
I would take him for a short ride on a back road and we would indulge in some serious talk. 0 -
LOL Jacob[:D][:D][:D].... You and me need to get together and stir up the town some night buddy[:D][:D][:D]
LF.... I know i am still a young man( That likes the ladies a little bit[;)]) and that i don't have a daughter of my own to worry about, So i shouldn't be committing in this topic.
But, I do have a younger sister in that just turned 18 in december and for some reaon i keep finding myself wanting to protect her from different guys.
I've had quite a few guys ask me if it would be alight to date my sister. Some i have just flat out told them no and if they ever laid a hand on her i would beat them to the point that they wished they had never been born. Others( Mostly nicer guys that mean well) i have been ok with and as long as they didn't hurt her, I stayed ok with it.
My sister did and still does a lot of things that my parents have no idea whatsoever that she's doing them and i am sure that there are things she has done that i don't even know about[:0]
Anyways, Girls will be girls, There going to do a lot of stupid things with some lucky guy.... I just try my best to make sure its not some druggy/hippy/drunken meanie that she makes lucky.
FYI, My sister still has no idea of the guys i have approved to date her and the guys i have threatened..... I would like it to stay that way.0 -
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
LOL Jacob[:D][:D][:D].... You and me need to get together and stir up the town some night buddy[:D][:D][:D]
LF.... I know i am still a young man( That likes the ladies a little bit[;)]) and that i don't have a daughter of my own to worry about, So i shouldn't be committing in this topic.
But, I do have a younger sister in that just turned 18 in december and for some reaon i keep finding myself wanting to protect her from different guys.
I've had quite a few guys ask me if it would be alight to date my sister. Some i have just flat out told them no and if they ever laid a hand on her i would beat them to the point that they wished they had never been born. Others( Mostly nicer guys that mean well) i have been ok with and as long as they didn't hurt her, I stayed ok with it.
My sister did and still does a lot of things that my parents have no idea whatsoever that she's doing them and i am sure that there are things she has done that i don't even know about[:0]
Anyways, Girls will be girls, There going to do a lot of stupid things with some lucky guy.... I just try my best to make sure its not some druggy/hippy/drunken meanie that she makes lucky.
FYI, My sister still has no idea of the guys i have approved to date her and the guys i have threatened..... I would like it to stay that way.
Not my town, dad knows everyone [:D][:D]
were here for the girls
not if i can help it
[:D][:D][:D][}:)][}:)]0 -
quote:Originally posted by Jacob2008
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
LOL Jacob[:D][:D][:D].... You and me need to get together and stir up the town some night buddy[:D][:D][:D]
LF.... I know i am still a young man( That likes the ladies a little bit[;)]) and that i don't have a daughter of my own to worry about, So i shouldn't be committing in this topic.
But, I do have a younger sister in that just turned 18 in december and for some reaon i keep finding myself wanting to protect her from different guys.
I've had quite a few guys ask me if it would be alight to date my sister. Some i have just flat out told them no and if they ever laid a hand on her i would beat them to the point that they wished they had never been born. Others( Mostly nicer guys that mean well) i have been ok with and as long as they didn't hurt her, I stayed ok with it.
My sister did and still does a lot of things that my parents have no idea whatsoever that she's doing them and i am sure that there are things she has done that i don't even know about[:0]
Anyways, Girls will be girls, There going to do a lot of stupid things with some lucky guy.... I just try my best to make sure its not some druggy/hippy/drunken meanie that she makes lucky.
FYI, My sister still has no idea of the guys i have approved to date her and the guys i have threatened..... I would like it to stay that way.
Not my town, dad knows everyone [:D][:D]
were here for the girls
not if i can help it
[:D][:D][:D][}:)][}:)]
Well, You can come here, I'd bet your dad doesn't know everyone here.
But if you come to my town, Then i get first picks on the best looking gals[:p]0 -
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
quote:Originally posted by Jacob2008
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
LOL Jacob[:D][:D][:D].... You and me need to get together and stir up the town some night buddy[:D][:D][:D]
LF.... I know i am still a young man( That likes the ladies a little bit[;)]) and that i don't have a daughter of my own to worry about, So i shouldn't be committing in this topic.
But, I do have a younger sister in that just turned 18 in december and for some reaon i keep finding myself wanting to protect her from different guys.
I've had quite a few guys ask me if it would be alight to date my sister. Some i have just flat out told them no and if they ever laid a hand on her i would beat them to the point that they wished they had never been born. Others( Mostly nicer guys that mean well) i have been ok with and as long as they didn't hurt her, I stayed ok with it.
My sister did and still does a lot of things that my parents have no idea whatsoever that she's doing them and i am sure that there are things she has done that i don't even know about[:0]
Anyways, Girls will be girls, There going to do a lot of stupid things with some lucky guy.... I just try my best to make sure its not some druggy/hippy/drunken meanie that she makes lucky.
FYI, My sister still has no idea of the guys i have approved to date her and the guys i have threatened..... I would like it to stay that way.
Not my town, dad knows everyone [:D][:D]
were here for the girls
not if i can help it
[:D][:D][:D][}:)][}:)]
Well, You can come here, I'd bet your dad doesn't know everyone here.
But if you come to my town, Then i get first picks on the best looking gals[:p]
All the ones around here are 14-15-16, or crazy in the head.. so, I guess we can hang here with my "peeps"0 -
quote:Originally posted by Jacob2008
All the ones around here are 14-15-16, or crazy in the head.. so, I guess we can hang here with my "peeps"
Well all the ones around here are 18-19-20-21 and get a little crazy when the sun goes down[:p][:p][:p]
Ofcourse, Your Daddy may not approve of you hanging out with me if he reads this[;)]0 -
Tell him that you hope he has a multi-talented colon, because in the future that's where he's going to learn to text from with his newly relocated cell phone. 0 -
Used to be I would say take him down behind the barn and reason with him. They say that doesn't work out well these days.
Just remind him that she is sixteen and no matter how much of the responsibility is hers, the judge won't be impressed. He is the adult so he will be going to the adult prison. Remind him that when he gets to Holman or Limestone Correctional Facility a few "older people" will be hitting on him. They might not be as pretty as your daughter.0 -
I believe the look in my eye would flat turn his ass to stone...
[:(!]0 -
i like that song out lately where pop tells the young guy-come-callin bout his daughter...
shes her daddies girl, her mommas world, she deserves respect thats what shell get.
go on and have some fun, ill see you when you get back, ill probly be up all night cleanin this gun...
my daughters last boyfriend didnt last all that long, mush have had a guilty conscience...he told her he was afraid of me cause i had "all those guns" and he didnt think i would be to worried about usein one! lol0 -
Id have a long hard talk with her before him. Phone numbers dont come from nowhere. 0 -
tell him to hit the road and don't come back, if not complies 45acp 230hp to the knee caps does the trick! 0 -
Tell him he can wait two years or do twenty. Either way I'd fire the sneaky little twerp and tell her he is off limits until she has a place of her own. He snuck behind your back once, he will do it again. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
Lets just say you were the parent of a SIXTEEN yr old girl. She is VERY pretty and comes around your business from time to time. Everyone kids a little about your "hot" daughter....but you are very clear that she is VERY off limits. Since the younger guys range from 19 to 26 at the store there is bound to be a bit of flirting and playing around when she comes around.
Here comes the kicker....
What if you found out that one of the guys had actually texted your daughter......trying to get her to SNEAK OUT from a friend's house and had promised things like drinking and maybe other things.
I want to say a teeny bit of this problem is the wilder nature of the little angel I am blessed with and I am CLEARLY trying to handle all that comes with raising a head-strong girl in today's world.
BUT.... The young man who is old enough to know better I think is more to blame for this wrong doing and is due a huge WAKE-UP. OR.... at least a small explination of just what can and will happen to him if he doesn't realize exactly how wrong what he tried was and realizes that breathing in and out is a gift from me from this day foreward and if he chooses to he can refuse this gift and call my daughter again. The choice is his.
I believe what you have just described is symbolic of a major flaw in parenting and in life. Your focus is on the male when it should be on your daughter.
There are 35 million males in this country who would love to shag your daughter rotten. You cant beat them all up, you cant talk to all of them and you cant prevent all of them from hitting on your daughter. You cant control any of them. HOWEVER....the greatest power will come from your daughter herself. You have to instill in her the desire and the ability to be choosing wisely the males she associates with.
Here is an analogy.....My neighboor was an alcoholic. When he was trying to get sober he used to say things like "if only my friends werent drinking then I wouldnt have the tempation" or "if every store i went into didnt sell alcohol then it wouldnt be so hard". His problem wasnt alcohol it was himself. Now he has been sober for 8 years and he is around alcohol everyday. He doesnt want it. It is powerless over him.
You need to make sure your daughter doesnt want these older guys. When she realizes that then she wont even let them into her life at all. However, if you keep focusing on the guys and not her then you will have a long road ahead of you. If you get angry then you might have a long jail sentence ahead of you.
My advice is to always spend more time with your kids. Do things. Go places. When I grew up I was always with my parents doing things. I didnt hang out with the wrong people because I had no time. I didnt do drugs or drink because I was busy doing things with my parents.
Your job is your daughter. Take care of her and she will resist these guys you are talking about.
BTW - the BallPark Frank and sperm of a 35 yr old is the same as a 16 yr old.0 -
Don't let her read this, but...
In Michigan, the law is 16 and her consent (for sex).
The worst you could get him charged with is probably contributing to delinquency of a minor even if you caught him in the "act" of sneaking out or worse.
As far as the booze, he would probably get in more trouble giving that to her than if he gave her something "else".
Boy, am I glad I don't have daughters!
When you have a boy, you have to wonder where one "thing" is. When you have girls, you have to worry about where all of them are.[:D]0 -
show him the laws on Statutory rape
Dont over react , show her you love and support her, shes of the age where you as a parent know NOTHING, are mean and retarded.
But she also wants you to show her how to be a grown up and a resposibleish adult.
If she is responding or encouraging 19 to 26 year olds, she's getting offers from people who don't work with you and considering them. One thing to do is you can make the home and talking to you as safe as possible0 -
this is comming from a father of 3 girls, my oldest was just about a date rape vic when she was 16. only thing saved her was a good swift kick in the balls and i taught her how to use my ASP baton.the boy is serving a 62 month sentence. 0 -
another answer is...call him son and drop the hint that he would make a fine son in law....that should scare the s@#t out of the little bas#^&d[}:)] 0 -
[:D] 0 -
quote:Originally posted by Mormonb
show him the laws on Statutory rape
I don't believe this to be a good idea! Age of consent in Alabama is 16. This might only encourage him; if he is under the impression that the age of consent is 18.
http://www.moraloutrage.net/staticpages/index.php?page=Alabama
http://www.sexlaws.org/answer_board_question-age_of_consent_370 -
Locust- sorry, but "I feel your pain". My kids are grown, now have kids of their own (Their turn to get gray hairs!)
1. Ref: Statutory rape- the age of consent varies from state to state- and she is probably older than the minimum age in your state- HOWEVER-
2. The legal age for drinking is 21. THAT is contributing to the delinquency of a minor at a minimum. As is the "sneaking out" bit.
Would let them know, separately- SHE can have juvenile charges brought against her for minor is possession of alcohol- which in many states will revoke her driver's license, or keep her from getting a license until 18 (whether or not she was driving when busted) HE can go to jail for contributing- and give up owning a gun ever again. And having a roomate named Slash who just told Romeo his name is now Nancy.
You might also enlist the aid of a local LEO in explaining the above. Phone would go in the safe for a while, daughter would be on some stringent restrictions for a while, etc. If bozo is an employee of yours, would have a "Come to Jesus" moment on whether you can continue to employee someone in a gunshop who displays questionable morals and poor judgement.
And daughters are the punishment God inflicts on men for being born male![:p] Just remember, there IS life after teenagers!0 -
Sixteen! Lordy Lordy, that girl should have been married off two years ago!!!0 -
1st. talk to daughter then talk to both at the same time andexplain what you expect from both . Then follow up . Then cross fingers and pray.
Been there and done that .
I lucked out ,0 -
Your daughter is as much to blame as the boy is. She gave him the # and she responded to the text message. She's obviously interested and probably done this sort of thing before given her little wild streak you alluded to. (More perhaps?)
I would fire the boy then forbid your daughter to see him again. After that you can't do much but play cop and try to see if she is following your orders. Employment is at will, you don't have to keep him.0 -
I was 17 and my ex-husband was 20 when we started dating. So, while I personally, would be concerned, it would be more about the fact that you told him she was out of bounds, and he defied you, rather than the age factor. Granted things eventually didn't work out between the ex and I, but you also have to remember that in general (notice the italics, fellas), men mature later than women.
Also, in two years, she can date a 40 year old of she wants to, and legally, there is nothing you can do about it.
It is a connundrum. If they have feelings for each other, is it fair to deny them this? If you do, they will continue to do whatever it takes to be with each other, and you will alienate your daughter.
However, I see your point as well. These two flatly defied your authority.
You need to have a serious talk with your girl. Does she clearly feel she is a better judge of what is best for her than she feels you are? Is she giving this fellow access to her out of sheer adolescent defiance, or does she actually like him?
If she does, and depending on the character of this guy, then you need to talk to him. Does he have affection for your daughter? What are his intentions? If they are honorable, then I don't think you have much of a choice than to see where the relationship goes. Express your concerns, and lay down some old-fashioned ground rules for the courtship (no dating on school nights, in by midnight on weekends, no alcohol, etc...).
Also, I would definitely get the girl on birth control. But that's your decision.0 -
I would question if he could be trusted at all with anything of yours. You told him she is VERY off limits and not to do this and he did.
I remember back an incident you mentioned with a gun that was shipped from your store and then got damaged somehow. I have always doubted the recieving guys did this. I kind of wonder if this guy damaged it through mishandling during packaging and then did not tell you about it. It sure fits his MO.
Do not threaten him in any way, just fire him for cause and the problem is solved.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Locust Fork
Lets just say you were the parent of a SIXTEEN yr old girl. She is VERY pretty and comes around your business from time to time. Everyone kids a little about your "hot" daughter....but you are very clear that she is VERY off limits. Since the younger guys range from 19 to 26 at the store there is bound to be a bit of flirting and playing around when she comes around.
Here comes the kicker....
What if you found out that one of the guys had actually texted your daughter......trying to get her to SNEAK OUT from a friend's house and had promised things like drinking and maybe other things.
I want to say a teeny bit of this problem is the wilder nature of the little angel I am blessed with and I am CLEARLY trying to handle all that comes with raising a head-strong girl in today's world.
BUT.... The young man who is old enough to know better I think is more to blame for this wrong doing and is due a huge WAKE-UP. OR.... at least a small explination of just what can and will happen to him if he doesn't realize exactly how wrong what he tried was and realizes that breathing in and out is a gift from me from this day foreward and if he chooses to he can refuse this gift and call my daughter again. The choice is his.
You are just going to have to face the facts. Younger men want/need to get laid. If you raised a pretty daughter, people will hit on her. If you had a son and he told you he found a good looking younger girl, you would probably pat him on the back. Dont blame the boy, blame yourself for not raising your daughter to know right from wrong. I guess you could lock her in a closet til she is 30 like someone else stated above. And what ever you do, DONT threaten him with a firearm. If he tells, you will have alot to loose.0 -
He cant come a calling with broken legs. 0 -
if a parent told one of my sons that their 16 year daughter was off limits i would expect them to honor their wishes. they could then try and become friends with the parents and earn their trust. after earning trust and talking with the girl in front of the parents, maybe things would work out. if they did it behind the parents back i'll take care of it, they won't have to. now if she was 18 or 21 then the choice would be hers, but if my sons make their bed, then they can lay in it[;)][:D] 0 -
acm1288 blew my assumption out of the water with the facts. That happens every time I ASS-U-ME something. Since the age of consent is 16 in Alabama, looks like you'll just have to take the little girl down behind the barn and reason with her and let your husband reason with the young gentleman. 0
Please sign in to leave a comment.
Comments
96 comments