Last night was a long one...first RA weekend
Wow, it was quite the weekend for me. Last night I got to sleep finally about 4am, I was escorting loud, drunk kids to their rooms. I only wrote one up and that was because he was warned more than once to go to his room. He refused and pulled out some brass knuckles. Fortunately, his brother was there and calmed him down some and his brother took him into his room. So I ended up writing him up and slipping it under his door; sure beats having to give it to him with his brass knuckles on. [;)]
But all in all, it wasn't as bad as I had expected. It just saddens me that these kids choose to put them selves through all of the stuff they do. One kid was sitting in the bathroom in front of a urinal when I checked the bathroom at about 1:45am. I asked him if he was alright and he picked his head up off the urinal and said he was simply waiting to throw up. That was probably the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Maybe you guys can help me grasp something. Why do kids to that? Why do they drink themselves into oblivion, throw up, pass out, wake up, throw up again, and go through a nasty hangover weekend after weekend? I simply don't understand why they put themselves through that. Anyway, one weekend down, about 12 left.
But all in all, it wasn't as bad as I had expected. It just saddens me that these kids choose to put them selves through all of the stuff they do. One kid was sitting in the bathroom in front of a urinal when I checked the bathroom at about 1:45am. I asked him if he was alright and he picked his head up off the urinal and said he was simply waiting to throw up. That was probably the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Maybe you guys can help me grasp something. Why do kids to that? Why do they drink themselves into oblivion, throw up, pass out, wake up, throw up again, and go through a nasty hangover weekend after weekend? I simply don't understand why they put themselves through that. Anyway, one weekend down, about 12 left.
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Quick tip from a guy that may have been in one or two friendly fights.[;)][B)] If the guy pulls out brass nuckles that usualy means that he can't take a punch and he is looking to end the fight fast. Wait for your opening, Then bop him straight on the noise. The fights normaly don't go past that. If the guy is drunk then all you have to do is blow on him and he will fall over.[:D] 0 -
That is the exact reason that through out my dorm life, RA's were always in pairs, or about 90% of the time. It also happens to be that in 2001, an RA had become friends with someone on his floor. The friend had a drug problem. The RA was fed up with the problem and was going to call the cops. The student shot and killed the RA and then himself. Now firearms and drugs are zero tolerance. If they find any, you and your roommate(s) are out of any campus housing for the rest of college and facing possible expulsion. 0 -
He is lucky you were nice. He just committed a felony. Actually, felony to possess in some states. 0 -
I can't speak for the brass knuckles, but as for drinking, it is an activity that some choose to partake in. There are far worse things in life than being drunk. Pain can be a good teacher, let em be, and they'll get wise. 0 -
quote:Maybe you guys can help me grasp something. Why do kids to that? Why do they drink themselves into oblivion, throw up, pass out, wake up, throw up again, and go through a nasty hangover weekend after weekend? I simply don't understand why they put themselves through that
kids?? it isnt just kids.....go to any bar on any weekend, you will see it, over and over and over again...same ppl..
Ask the adults why they do it and you might get the idea they dont know,...most times its wanting to be accepted...to be a part of something0 -
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
Quick tip from a guy that may have been in one or two friendly fights.[;)][B)] If the guy pulls out brass nuckles that usualy means that he can't take a punch and he is looking to end the fight fast. Wait for your opening, Then bop him straight on the noise. The fights normaly don't go past that. If the guy is drunk then all you have to do is blow on him and he will fall over.[:D]
I was ready to lay one on him, but as an RA, I legally can't hit one of my residents unless it is in self-defense. Really stupid in my opinion, but that's the way it's suppose to be. But at the same time, I'm not going to take a punch from brass knuckles and then retalliate. It's going to be one and done for him. One heel of the hand to the bridge of the nose and eye, and that's one drunk that won't be doing much for awhile. (Other than going to the hospital with a broken nose and maybe eye socket) But I hope it never comes to that.0 -
quote:Originally posted by BlackRoses
kids?? it isnt just kids.....go to any bar on any weekend, you will see it, over and over and over again...same ppl..
I realize it's not just kids, which I think is even more sad. [V] But I think you may be right. People always want to be accepted and I guess this may be the only way they feel accepted. So sad. [:(]0 -
Huntingnerd33,
I've been trying to figure out how old you are from your posts about being an RA and I'm at a lose. Some times I think your in the late teens early 20's then other times 30's. If you don't mind telling us all, how old are you?
To address your question why they act that way:
1) To let off steam after classes and studying all week.
2) Because they have never been able to get that crazy before. Due to living at home or having to drive some place to drink and still get home after. At college they can walk to the party and then crawl back to their room. [:p]
3) They know that after they get out of school they will not be able to have this kind of "Fun" and still maintain a job and family.
4) Because they CAN.
At the station I have pictures of some of our local college kids being college kids. It's of their spud gun and what they did to a TV & microwave. I try to remember to grab them post them here.0 -
I'm glad I didn't spend a night in dorm life. Wouldn't have gone to college if I had to. I'm too much of a country boy. It was hard enough for an agriculture fraternity to put up with me. Fortunately, there was enough plain farm boys, like me, there who didn't give a hoot about greek crap. 0 -
FWIW: as fas as mass goes, you were assaulted when he pulled the brass knuckles, assuming you believed he would use them and were in fear for your safety at that time. your laws may vary... 0 -
quote:Originally posted by Smokeeater 38
I've been trying to figure out how old you are from your posts about being an RA and I'm at a lose. Some times I think your in the late teens early 20's then other times 30's. If you don't mind telling us all, how old are you?
I'm 19. I don't think that I think like a teenager though. I've grown up a lot in the past few years and I'm pretty mature for my age.0 -
quote:Originally posted by KEVD18
FWIW: as fas as mass goes, you were assaulted when he pulled the brass knuckles, assuming you believed he would use them and were in fear for your safety at that time. your laws may vary...
Yeah, I got told that tonight at our RA meeting, but I told them that I was more unsure of what he was going to do with them. But I didn't want to press charges or anything like that. Not for something like that. If I'm going to press charges, it's going to be something that actually matters. I'm not going to be one of those people that gets poked in the eye while playing basketball and press charges. (not an actual situation that I know of, just something rediculous like that)0 -
I don't know.
I seem to have a survival mechanism that allows me to stop drinking and get to a secure location under my own power before I pass out0 -
quote:Originally posted by Huntingnerd33
I'm 19. I don't think that I think like a teenager though. I've grown up a lot in the past few years and I'm pretty mature for my age.
YGBSM. That would probably explain all of the trouble you've been getting.
The very idea behind the RA program is that college kids respond better to a current grad student who has "been there", lives in their dorm instead of going home every night, and is slightly older than they (so his words have authenticity and authority), but not so much that they identify him as being old and out of touch.
If it's done correctly, it's proven to be THE most (and pretty much the only) effective way to get dorm students to make the right decisions on their own.
By putting a 19-year old in there, they've essentially destroyed any hope of making that happen, and also set you up for failure. I'm truly not trying to put you down here, but based on your age and dedication to your position, there is no way in hell any of those students are going to listen to you, much less respect you. You're a 19-year-old freshman in a 23-year-old grad student's position. Any obedience you get from them is going to be achieved with citation book in hand and threat in mouth, regardless of what kind of guy you are. Just be prepared.
I'm willing to guess that it was probably financial in basis. Are they paying you at all? Or are you merely getting free housing and tuition? Most RAs and RSPs these days get a stipend in addition to free room + board.
In any case, I apologize for breaking your stones in your previous thread. It seems like you're in for a lot more trouble than I realized...good luck [V]0 -
quote:Originally posted by Bullzeye
quote:Originally posted by Huntingnerd33
I'm 19. I don't think that I think like a teenager though. I've grown up a lot in the past few years and I'm pretty mature for my age.
YGBSM. That would probably explain all of the trouble you've been getting.
The very idea behind the RA program is that college kids respond better to a current grad student who has "been there", lives in their dorm instead of going home every night, and is slightly older than they (so his words have authenticity and authority), but not so much that they identify him as being old and out of touch.
If it's done correctly, it's proven to be THE most (and pretty much the only) effective way to get dorm students to make the right decisions on their own.
By putting a 19-year old in there, they've essentially destroyed any hope of making that happen, and also set you up for failure. I'm truly not trying to put you down here, but based on your age and dedication to your position, there is no way in hell any of those students are going to listen to you, much less respect you. You're a 19-year-old freshman in a 23-year-old grad student's position. Any obedience you get from them is going to be achieved with citation book in hand and threat in mouth, regardless of what kind of guy you are. Just be prepared.
I'm willing to guess that it was probably financial in basis. Are they paying you at all? Or are you merely getting free housing and tuition? Most RAs and RSPs these days get a stipend in addition to free room + board.
In any case, I apologize for breaking your stones in your previous thread. It seems like you're in for a lot more trouble than I realized...good luck [V]
Yeah, there were 8 openings on campus and they got 13 applications for the spots. There are at least 3 or 4 freshman that are RAs now including myself. Kinda sucks being the same age as most of the guys on my floor, makes it pretty awkward because some of them are my friends from before college.
As far as compensation, we get a private room paid for and $300 off our meal plan. Each year we're an RA, we get an additional $50 off our meal plan. Not much incentive, but I already had a full-tuition scholarship for 4 years to start college. So basically I pay 2/3 of a meal plan, books, and fees. This semester ended up costing me about $900; compared to $2700 without the compensation. It's not as much as I'd like, but it's better than nothing.
I still don't like the situation of being an RA right now, but I figure if I'm not going to be in the freshman dorm next year it will be better. But I've already decided that I'm not going to stay in the freshman dorm after this semester. I'd work at McDonald's before I'd stay in the freshman dorm again.0 -
The campus I was on wouldn't even accept grad students as RAs. They were all undergrads, and most were sophomores, with a few juniors thrown in. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by agman1999
The campus I was on wouldn't even accept grad students as RAs. They were all undergrads, and most were sophomores, with a few juniors thrown in.
Here they want juniors and older, but they were in a pinch and were taking all applicants.0 -
As hall president i have to watch over the hall as well but i dont get paid. Seen all kinds of crap doesnt bother me to see people do stupid things because i know they will one day grow up or be out of the gene pool. A side note i had a freshman say why did someone get a underage. I said the law is the law it doesnt matter if your in college or not under 21 no alcohol. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by chrishiher
As hall president i have to watch over the hall as well but i dont get paid. Seen all kinds of crap doesnt bother me to see people do stupid things because i know they will one day grow up or be out of the gene pool. A side note i had a freshman say why did someone get a underage. I said the law is the law it doesnt matter if your in college or not under 21 no alcohol.
Couldn't agree more, laws are laws.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Huntingnerd33
.......But I didn't want to press charges or anything like that........
i didnt mean anything like pressing charges. i was going down the road of knocking the punk on his azz in a justified manner0 -
quote:Originally posted by Bullzeye
quote:Originally posted by Huntingnerd33
I'm 19. I don't think that I think like a teenager though. I've grown up a lot in the past few years and I'm pretty mature for my age.
YGBSM. That would probably explain all of the trouble you've been getting.
The very idea behind the RA program is that college kids respond better to a current grad student who has "been there", lives in their dorm instead of going home every night, and is slightly older than they (so his words have authenticity and authority), but not so much that they identify him as being old and out of touch.
If it's done correctly, it's proven to be THE most (and pretty much the only) effective way to get dorm students to make the right decisions on their own.
By putting a 19-year old in there, they've essentially destroyed any hope of making that happen, and also set you up for failure. I'm truly not trying to put you down here, but based on your age and dedication to your position, there is no way in hell any of those students are going to listen to you, much less respect you. You're a 19-year-old freshman in a 23-year-old grad student's position. Any obedience you get from them is going to be achieved with citation book in hand and threat in mouth, regardless of what kind of guy you are. Just be prepared.
I'm willing to guess that it was probably financial in basis. Are they paying you at all? Or are you merely getting free housing and tuition? Most RAs and RSPs these days get a stipend in addition to free room + board.
In any case, I apologize for breaking your stones in your previous thread. It seems like you're in for a lot more trouble than I realized...good luck [V]
I agree that your situation is tough because you are--at first glance--a 'peer with a bit of power,' but I completely disagree that you're bound to fail.
If you make your lines clear and hold them, and then make the consequences stick consistently, then they will come to respect you (they might not like you, but they will respect you). It sounds like you're in it for the right reasons; they will come to understand that (if you were in it for the power I think they'd smell that in a second and you'd be done).
What they're going to do is figure out ways to prevent you from finding them out. This probably means they'll get into trouble outside of your jurisdiction. But this is not your problem. They want desparately to get into trouble. You asked why. They will do this because they are young. I made my share of mischief in the dorms. Speaking from experience, they do it because they finally CAN, because they are too inexperienced to foresee the consequences, because they are in a herd mentality, and because frankly, it is fun, even if there are consequences (maybe I can only say that because I never faced serious consequences?).
Still, your task is not without merit. If you succeed, you've limited their options in terms of being stupid, and (here's where your age is a bonus) you've provided an example of a person who doesn't need to do those things.
Good luck. Let us know how things develop.0 -
quote:Originally posted by spurgemastur
quote:Originally posted by Bullzeye
quote:Originally posted by Huntingnerd33
I'm 19. I don't think that I think like a teenager though. I've grown up a lot in the past few years and I'm pretty mature for my age.
YGBSM. That would probably explain all of the trouble you've been getting.
The very idea behind the RA program is that college kids respond better to a current grad student who has "been there", lives in their dorm instead of going home every night, and is slightly older than they (so his words have authenticity and authority), but not so much that they identify him as being old and out of touch.
If it's done correctly, it's proven to be THE most (and pretty much the only) effective way to get dorm students to make the right decisions on their own.
By putting a 19-year old in there, they've essentially destroyed any hope of making that happen, and also set you up for failure. I'm truly not trying to put you down here, but based on your age and dedication to your position, there is no way in hell any of those students are going to listen to you, much less respect you. You're a 19-year-old freshman in a 23-year-old grad student's position. Any obedience you get from them is going to be achieved with citation book in hand and threat in mouth, regardless of what kind of guy you are. Just be prepared.
I'm willing to guess that it was probably financial in basis. Are they paying you at all? Or are you merely getting free housing and tuition? Most RAs and RSPs these days get a stipend in addition to free room + board.
In any case, I apologize for breaking your stones in your previous thread. It seems like you're in for a lot more trouble than I realized...good luck [V]
I agree that your situation is tough because you are--at first glance--a 'peer with a bit of power,' but I completely disagree that you're bound to fail.
If you make your lines clear and hold them, and then make the consequences stick consistently, then they will come to respect you (they might not like you, but they will respect you). It sounds like you're in it for the right reasons; they will come to understand that (if you were in it for the power I think they'd smell that in a second and you'd be done).
What they're going to do is figure out ways to prevent you from finding them out. This probably means they'll get into trouble outside of your jurisdiction. But this is not your problem. They want desparately to get into trouble. You asked why. They will do this because they are young. I made my share of mischief in the dorms. Speaking from experience, they do it because they finally CAN, because they are too inexperienced to foresee the consequences, because they are in a herd mentality, and because frankly, it is fun, even if there are consequences (maybe I can only say that because I never faced serious consequences?).
Still, your task is not without merit. If you succeed, you've limited their options in terms of being stupid, and (here's where your age is a bonus) you've provided an example of a person who doesn't need to do those things.
Good luck. Let us know how things develop.
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quote:Originally posted by KEVD18
quote:Originally posted by Huntingnerd33
.......But I didn't want to press charges or anything like that........
i didnt mean anything like pressing charges. i was going down the road of knocking the punk on his azz in a justified manner
I see. I thought that was where you were going with that. But yeah, a nice punch to the face would take care of him.0 -
quote:Originally posted by spurgemastur
I agree that your situation is tough because you are--at first glance--a 'peer with a bit of power,' but I completely disagree that you're bound to fail.
If you make your lines clear and hold them, and then make the consequences stick consistently, then they will come to respect you (they might not like you, but they will respect you). It sounds like you're in it for the right reasons; they will come to understand that (if you were in it for the power I think they'd smell that in a second and you'd be done).
What they're going to do is figure out ways to prevent you from finding them out. This probably means they'll get into trouble outside of your jurisdiction. But this is not your problem. They want desparately to get into trouble. You asked why. They will do this because they are young. I made my share of mischief in the dorms. Speaking from experience, they do it because they finally CAN, because they are too inexperienced to foresee the consequences, because they are in a herd mentality, and because frankly, it is fun, even if there are consequences (maybe I can only say that because I never faced serious consequences?).
Still, your task is not without merit. If you succeed, you've limited their options in terms of being stupid, and (here's where your age is a bonus) you've provided an example of a person who doesn't need to do those things.
Good luck. Let us know how things develop.
I couldn't agree with you more. That's what I'm trying to do, set guidelines and stick to them. I will keep you posted as the semester goes on. My hope is to have a few funny stories to go along with the stories of consequences.0 -
You will have fun trying to get the rest of your floor to listen to you do to your age.
You may want to write down some of the funny stuff that happens on your floor, it will make for good reading in the years to come and you might get a book out of it. [8D] [:p]0 -
Here's my two cents from 58 years of life: THEY'RE AMATEURS!
They mix different kinds of drinks while drinking, drink fashionable dark, thick, carmalized beers, they don't go out to eat before going home, and take longer to grow up because they're ALLOWED.
In the school I went to 40 years ago and the surrounding schools
(both high school and college) drag racing with HIGH horsepower cars was rampant and drinking the norm-It was extremely rare for anyone to get into trouble. Now days the papers are full of kids getting caught or worse, killed. When I went into the military (Navy Corpsman '69-'73) it was the same then as now-18 year olds in service with tons of more maturity and common sense than 24 year olds on campuses.
Personally, I don't trust anybody that doesn't take a stiff snort once in awhile. Being a tea totaler in just as bad as being at the other end of the pendulum. And, while I'm at it, the people who've screwed me over most in life where wearin' a tie and/or professed to being so very, very Christian.............0 -
I didn't start drinking till after college and have to say drinking is fun. [:o)]
You have to learn how much is to much. Only way to learn that by doing so and feeling the consequences.
I went to a Christian College where drinking, smoking, dancing on campus, etc. etc. was forbidden. Each student signed a Lifestyle statement agreeing to abide by that policy for the full 4 years of their enrollment. There were also dorm rules that they had to agree to if they lived on campus. Noise, no hockey in the hallway, dorm hours for the oposite sex, etc, etc.
My school required RA's to be at least a Junior. However they did make some exceptions for Sophmores. Never heard of a Freshman RA but think you will do fine.
I learned the best way to be a RA is to be a stickler. Give 1 verbal warning, if they knock what they are doing fine. If they don't write em up. Start out tough and get nicer as the year goes by.
I had to write up a ton of people when I was a RA. Most of those I wrote up became really good friends afterwards.0 -
quote:Originally posted by 50-70RB
Personally, I don't trust anybody that doesn't take a stiff snort once in awhile. Being a tea totaler in just as bad as being at the other end of the pendulum. And, while I'm at it, the people who've screwed me over most in life where wearin' a tie and/or professed to being so very, very Christian.............
I'm curious as to why someone that doesn't drink at all is as bad as those that get plastered, get behind the wheel and kill someone, not remembering any of it[?][?] If you could put some sort of a basis behind that, it may make more sense to me.
I'm sorry you apparently had a bad experience with a "Christian." Christians are human too, we all make mistakes. Every person on this earth makes mistakes, that's what makes us human. But keep in mind that not every Christian is like the person(s) that "most screwed me over." It's just like saying every person that has ever drank in their life is a terrible person and should be locked away. It just doesn't make sense. You may want to keep that in mind the next time you bash the entire "Christian" population. [;)]0 -
Never meant to say that being a tea totaler was bad. But, in my experience, it's another form of extremism. And, it's usually part of a package which makes up for a very boring person and a person whose denying themselves a large part of life. Just my experience and opinion, which we as we all know that, like anuses, everbody has one and doesn't need another one.
Never meant to bash Christians-I are one-just wanted to say that whenever someone meets a Christian who wears his Christianity on his sleeve, i.e., talks the most about it, flags should go up in your head, until proven otherwise.0 -
quote:Originally posted by 50-70RB
Never meant to say that being a tea totaler was bad. But, in my experience, it's another form of extremism. And, it's usually part of a package which makes up for a very boring person and a person whose denying themselves a large part of life. Just my experience and opinion, which we as we all know that, like anuses, everbody has one and doesn't need another one.
Never meant to bash Christians-I are one-just wanted to say that whenever someone meets a Christian who wears his Christianity on his sleeve, i.e., talks the most about it, flags should go up in your head, until proven otherwise.
I see. I still don't agree that just because someone doesn't drink they're boring. But like you said, everybody has one. Also, shouldn't someone's flags go up whenever someone brings up their religion/faith/sprituality? But I see your point.0
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