My Life
Found out last night that my wife is cheating on me. 10+ years of hell down the drain..............Im gonna be sick[xx(]
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First step in obtaining freedom!!!
You will survive it!0 -
Freedom 0 -
Survivable event. BTDT, have scars to prove it.
You will emerge stronger than before.0 -
it seems like a lot of thats going on these days, actually it's been going on as long as I can remember, and you just need to deal with it as best you can, and get on with your life..... with her out of it.... 0 -
so sorry gun_runner... percentages are up in that catagory. chin up.... everything happens for a reason! 0 -
Really sorry to hear it. As has been said, you will come out of it and come out stronger. Don't act out of anger and do NOT, IMO, reconcile. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Move on and learn from it. 0 -
ain't nothin like that feeling, throw her crap outside, change the locks, and carry on. be strong[;)][V] 0 -
When wife #3 left, I was devastated. Some of you know that. After some careful analysis, I found that my dilemma was more financial than emotional, so I set to work fixing it. It was not easy, and I even had to file for bankruptcy, but I got through.
Wife #4 Dawnie came along, and I have generally been happy with her. However, I did learn from my experience with wife #3, and I have arranged my finances so that I do not depend on Dawnie's income to survive. I love Dawnie dearly, but if she should leave, I won't take the clobbering that I did with her predecessor.
You didn't mention your age. I presume you are still a young vital man. Once the smoke clears and the dust settles, invest in some personal protective devices from the drug store and don't give anyone a key to your place.0 -
quote:Originally posted by gun_runner
Found out last night that my wife is cheating on me. 10+ years of hell down the drain..............Im gonna be sick[xx(]
Life gets a lot better when the wretched skunk is gone. BTDT, got the burned wallet and no Rolex to remind me of it. Document and protect your assets. Take the high road and move on.
The pain is real, fortunately the healing is too, but takes longer.
I am sorry for your pain.0 -
...Sorry, that has to bite big but, as others have said, you will survive. As with other poopty event's, put it behind you and move on.
...Should be able learn and become a stronger person from an otherwise misserable circumstance. I'm not and never have subscribed to "everything" happens for a "reason", bullsnot; that, is way too much "thinking"...just buck up and put it behind you, move forward, luck...[;)]
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quote:Originally posted by nunn
When wife #3 left, I was devastated. Some of you know that. After some careful analysis, I found that my dilemma was more financial than emotional, so I set to work fixing it. It was not easy, and I even had to file for bankruptcy, but I got through.
Wife #4 Dawnie came along, and I have generally been happy with her. However, I did learn from my experience with wife #3, and I have arranged my finances so that I do not depend on Dawnie's income to survive. I love Dawnie dearly, but if she should leave, I won't take the clobbering that I did with her predecessor.
You didn't mention your age. I presume you are still a young vital man. Once the smoke clears and the dust settles, invest in some personal protective devices from the drug store and don't give anyone a key to your place.
SAGE advice....0 -
Sorry to hear that. I went through that last summer. It will help to have someone such as a good friend to talk to. 0 -
That stinks!
Hang in there...0 -
God help the man who marries a w 0 -
quote:Originally posted by tomahawk
ain't nothin like that feeling, throw her crap outside, change the locks, and carry on. be strong[;)][V]
+1 Been there, done that. You'll get through it...and there is somebody better out there for you. Drop me a line if you ever need to talk.0 -
"everything happens for a reason" -- has to be said! it's a right of passage. [;)]
believe it or not - the thought, helps. [:)]
hang in there buddy...0 -
Very sorry to hear it gun_runner. 0 -
Hold fast, Larry. 0 -
Most of us have experienced that event by the time we have been around a while. I just tell others to say, "next" and do what it takes to protect yourself and distance yourself from the one doing the cheating. They may bounce back and forth when their romp is over and cause additional pain in your life if you allow it.
Move as far away as possible from your cheating mate and avoid further contact, if possible. Its good to also avoid falling into an immediate relationship with another woman since you are under emotional distress and it will be hard for you to make good decisions while in that zone. Good Luck!0 -
It sucks and Im sorry that you are going through it. Cheating only happens when something is missing from a marriage, but I still feel it's wrong. 0 -
Hurts like hell.
But two things I took away from my, very similar, situation.
First: Pain only occurs in those who are still alive.
Second: You deserve better, and ironically, the one who hurt you most made it possible for you to reap what you deserve. I'm not asking you to thank the cheatin' little tramp. But it is a little perspective.
Better days lie ahead my friend. It's up to you to live them.
Peace.0 -
Start giving your best friend that you can trust all your valuabe stuff to hold for you and start stashing cash out of the bank accounts.If it comes down to a divorce there wont be that much she can take!Sorry to hear about your problems but start thinking smart and get your stuff out of her sight. 0 -
Prayer sent in your behalf. Do not act in anger, especially if kids are involved. Try to think out your actions and their consequences
before doing anything. Protect your assets. Put in some prayer time.0 -
quote:Originally posted by gun_runner
Found out last night that my wife is cheating on me. 10+ years of hell down the drain..............Im gonna be sick[xx(]
I wish I could help you.
I'm in the same situation, only 25 years.
Doug0 -
quote:Originally posted by Doug Wilson
quote:Originally posted by gun_runner
Found out last night that my wife is cheating on me. 10+ years of hell down the drain..............Im gonna be sick[xx(]
I wish I could help you.
I'm in the same situation, only 25 years.
Doug
Sorry to hear that you're going through it too Doug.
Hang in there.0 -
quote:Originally posted by eboydell
I think that the only thing that hurts more is the death of a loved one. But do not go back...you will never forget,never forgive, and you will just hate both her and yourself. No matter what your age, you CAN and WILL do better! In the mean time, stay away from her. If you do anything stupid, you will be in real trouble. You are a much better man for just walking away. When I left my ex-wife, I acted crazy at times. My father told me:"Act like a man, not a jackass! Give her the money she is fighting for, and move on with your life." Now the death of my father made leaving the ex-wife seem like falling off a log. You can live without "trash" in your life, but you only get one true CLASS ACT![;)]
Oh my!,.......we agree once again![:D][;)]0 -
quote:Originally posted by bpost1958
Document and protect your assets.
+1
Sorry to hear the sad news.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Colonel Plink
Hurts like hell.
But two things I took away from my, very similar, situation.
First: Pain only occurs in those who are still alive.
Second: You deserve better, and ironically, the one who hurt you most made it possible for you to reap what you deserve. I'm not asking you to thank the cheatin' little tramp. But it is a little perspective.
Better days lie ahead my friend. It's up to you to live them.
Peace.
Well put.
So very sorry for your situation. Been there, pal. It shakes the very foundation of your life, all your hopes and dreams, everything you believed in, everything you accepted as your reality has been thrown back at you as a sham.
You don't necessarilly need to throw the baby out with the bathwater though. Couples have been unfaithful before and found enough love to make the relationship work again. Your hurt and raw now, and I'm sure you are not thinking about these things.
If there are kids involved though, I expect you are considering this.0 -
A year and two months ago, almost to the day. The "cheating" was over the computer and phone, so emotional, not physical, and it's not the same as what you're going through. My wife and I were married only in name, and staying together because... that's what we'd both said we'd do. The actual splitting up, though, still wasn't easy.
Nothing I immediately planned or tried to do, other than making living and work arrangements, worked out, in the beginning. Now I understand why (I do, FWIW, subscribe to the "things happening for a reason" theory, but that's just my opinion based mainly on the fact that, given the pattern of the first part of my adult life, there is no other valid reason for my even still being here). Looking back on how things have gone for me -- until the ugliness of the situation is far behind you, just focus on living. Try doing some things that maybe being married got in the way of (I did a hell of a lot more hunting, fishing, and working on guns than I ever had time for as a married man). Allow yourself time to get your priorities straight, decide what you want out of life, now, and resist the urge to immediately start looking for someone else.
And, "This too shall pass." You are going to hurt and be sick. You have no option about that. Trying to avoid or fight it is pointless. As one of the others here said, pain is felt only by the living. You will be able to bear it because you have to -- it's that simple. Last it out and, in time, it won't hurt so bad -- if at all.
You said 10+ years of hell. If that's true, look at it this way -- at least now the hell you're going through is one you can get through without being obligated to let her make it worse. You now can walk away from her, tell her to go to Hell, tell her to perform any and all sorts of physically degrading and painful acts upon herself -- whatever works and allows you to keep your dignity. What's she going to do -- divorce you over it? [;)]
You can e-mail me via this forum. Any time.0 -
You know they're right. Give it a little time. And we'll get a group together and go to Hooters! Beer, chicken and tight orange shorts have a way of putting things in perspective. 0
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