alone
i dug myself into a hole and now im at the bottom.
my wife "left me" today, although she is still physically here, in the house, she has announced that she no longer loves me and wants to "break up" for good... on monday.
i guess i should have seen this coming, she has the maturity level of a 12 year old sometimes.
its really over, been gettin there for a while, and i guess im glad we can stop pretending and i can move on somehow, but tonight its pretty lonely over here.
my wife "left me" today, although she is still physically here, in the house, she has announced that she no longer loves me and wants to "break up" for good... on monday.
i guess i should have seen this coming, she has the maturity level of a 12 year old sometimes.
its really over, been gettin there for a while, and i guess im glad we can stop pretending and i can move on somehow, but tonight its pretty lonely over here.
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quote:Originally posted by bingeebob
well, there are about 16 firearms, and god knows how many sharp objects in this room, but dont worry, there is no female on the planet who is worth hurting yourself over, and my head is clear enough to know that, even in the midst of... well, this.
I think they meant you hurting her.. [:D][:D]0 -
wouldent be worth it jacob, its time to let her go. 0 -
She could easily say you assaulted her and pointed a gun at her. Aggrivated assault. They will immediately seize your weapons. Good luck trying to prove they are yours. I hope you have the bill of sale and can prove they are your property. You might want to be nice to her. 0 -
oh shes probably not smart enough to figure that scam out, but i'm bein "nice" just in case. 0 -
you should be at home depot by now. 0 -
I think you came to the right place for some support.
If you want to talk, you can call me at 503-843-2020.
I have been down your path enough times to get calluses.
Doug0 -
I know the pain brother...I spent at least 6 months in a dark tunnel...no light whatsoever...she was my moon, my sun, and my stars...she still holds a special place in my heart...but it's all better now. Things will get better. You can only hope that one day they will realize what they threw away. I pray for my ex on a regular basis. If you need someone to talk too, drop me a line off the forum...take care. 0 -
I remember the female who for 2 years put me at the lowest I have ever been in my life. When you are in the middle of it you see no way out. Finally you wake up one day and realize things will get better.
Now when I look back I cant fathom how I got there but life is so much better without her.
Just remember life gets better but sometimes YOU have to make the choice to make it better. If you arent happy then GET RID OF HER !! 2 years from now you will realize how much better it made your life.
Remember, love is supposed to make you happy, not miserable0 -
Bob, a divorce is like doing time. You just got to take it a day at a time. DON'T WASTE TIME FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! Life's too short. Hook back up with old friends. Get out. Go to church. Hey, my dad was divorced at 52, re-married at 53 and had me at 54. Had my sister at 61!
Now get off the computer and start living again!0 -
Sounds like a reason to have another beer, as if a reason is needed. Don 0 -
You will get over it with some time.
Just don't make the mistake of running right out, and looking for a "replacement" for a while.
Now if you want to have some "fun",.....this is the time, but keep emotions out of it.
Don't even consider getting back together, if it comes up, as I agree with an above poster, that she probably is having an affair, and if she gets "dumped" will come running back with the apologies.
I guess that works out once in awhile, but it is very rare.
Start a new life,........have some "guy" fun for a period of time, recover, and then step back into life again![;)]0 -
There is always 2 sides,... it takes 2 to make it work and 2 to end it... 0 -
I went through a divorce because of an unfaithful wife, I know its hard regardless of circumstances. Just keep your head up and be proud of yourself; afterall, you have done nothing wrong and can lay your head down at night and not have to make excuses or lie to God, her on the other hand.....I wouldnt want to be in her shoes.
If there is in fact another man, let him have her.0 -
My gawd man; I really have empathy for you. Hang tough. A good man keeps his strength and convictions no matter what some other scumbag does to them. Take the high road, you will sleep better knowing you were an honest, honorable man.
Let her go; five years from now you won't even remember what she looked like.0 -
No BR,.......there isn't ALWAYS two sides.
Don't you get tired of that statement?
You used the same garbage on me when I asked the question about my non-existant "father".
Actually, I am wrong,......there are ALWAYS two sides, but sometimes it is simply a nice person screwed by a self interested user of a human being.
Isn't Oprah available on DVD yet?0 -
No, I will never stop saying it, cause its the truth....There is always two sides....
I have never once said there is a good side and a bad side, just there is 2 sides...One cannot hear just one side and be objective...
As a woman I would just LOVE to hear what made the wives leave or to run to other men....But we all know, you guys did nothing...0 -
As many have said, been there--done that. Was married for 23 years with 2 sons. I didn't have a clue what was coming. One day she just moved out and straight into her boyfriend's house. Tried to get her to go with me to a marriage counselor. She wouldn't and just said "I don't love you anymore". When she said that, something just clicked, like a light bulb, in this old head and I never let it bother me again.
That was 20 years ago and I'm a whole lot better off.
Hang in there and don't let yourself get "down". Tomorrow is another day.0 -
as prior been stated "been there done that"....and they are also right that it will work out for the best in the end---getting there is the __its for a while....sound like it is already OVER so make a clean total break...change locks, all stuff out, accounts stopped, no phone calls, witness by a friend, cause a slick lawyer will pop up when her mood changes...wish i could find the article again that there were about seven?? steps one goes thru in this situation & that understanding or a counselor for you will help transition...now you take care of #1 & know a lot of members are here for you....best 0 -
I've been down that road (like many others here) myself and if you keep on thinking you've hit bottom you'll begin to believe it and it will make it even harder to pull yourself out of that hole. Why let her wait around until Moday to leave when you can boot her a$$ out right now? If she wants out then let her go. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by BlackRoses
As a woman I would just LOVE to hear what made the wives leave or to run to other men....But we all know, you guys did nothing...
Yep, my first wife had her reason as did I. She left because I drank in excess, ran our home like a Marine Barracks, and refused to help her do anyhting around the house like cooking, cleaning or anything I considered "skirt work".
My issues with her was she didn't obey my every command.
She was right to leave, and it most likely was a turning point in my life. I was able to find my perfect woman and the love of my life, Sandy. 35 years into it, I think I'm a better man for it, and my first wife and I were able to find peace and friendship before she passed.
Worked out for the best, and I had everything I got coming to me.0 -
quote:Originally posted by kristov
Why let her wait around until Moday to leave when you can boot her a$$ out right now? If she wants out then let her go.
Bad advice. You will only regret it later in life. Be a man and let her leave, if she wants to go, without a fight or confrontation. It will be better for you both legally and morally, and she will someday have respect for you as will her family.
Nothing wrong with being a respectable man in the face of devistation.0 -
Count your blessings man. my wife is the same way. We just live together. Been doin it for 10+ years. At least you have a chance for a better happy life! 0 -
Danny,
At least you are man enough to admit you were at least 50 percent to blame...A lot of men wont help around the house, but bark orders and never get off the couch....Instead of the me me me attitude ..try we we we....
What is really "adored" by marriage councillors (sp?) is the husband who says his wife is nagging all the time when in fact all she does is ask for something to be done...He doesnt want to do it, so she is "nagging"....
Marriage is a partnership....WHy not wake up and ask, "is there anything I can do to make my husband/wife happier? Can I treat them better?...How can I make them feel loved?...
Editted to correct the spelling of Danny's name..0 -
remember there are two sides to a story now, most divorces i know of is because while the man is workin his azz off, his wife lays on her butt, in a filthy house, runs to see her friends, doesnt contribute except for sex, spends money, makes debts, and yes cheats... you can buy this in a dime store[:(!]...then they have the gall to wonder why things fall apart and why the man becomes unloving.... jeeez[?] 0 -
I won't be commenting, except to say that most all of this Country's problems really started when we Men allowed the females to vote.
Doug0 -
quote:Originally posted by BlackRoses
At least you are man enough to admit you were at least 50 percent to blame...
I was at least 85% of the problem and my son was the one who suffered the most.[V]0 -
Never be in a hurry to split up a marriage. My wife and I spent many nights talking through the night when we were in out first few years. 45 years later I can safely say it was worth it.
Clouder..0 -
quote:Originally posted by whiteclouder
Never be in a hurry to split up a marriage. My wife and I spent many nights talking through the night when we were in out first few years. 45 years later I can safely say it was worth it.
Clouder..
So true. Sandy and I have had many opportunities to split over the years, but we always gave it some time and did a lot of talking. Every time it came down to the same fact. We loved each other and realized neither of us were perfect. Now, we just laugh about it.0 -
Sorry for your loss man. I pray I never have to experience what your going through. I think the best advice I've read here was to treat her with grace and dignity. Sometimes it's better to respect yourself and have some discipline than to disrepect her.
Hold fast.0 -
BEEN THER DONE THAT! .Some advice my Mom give me ...EVERYTHING happens for the best! Didn't seem like that during that time, by after sometime what she said was proven true! My EX is a "NUT BALL" now, re-married to another "NUT BALL", they take turns leaving each other. I'm REAL glad I'm not a part of that now!
I suggest two things. Split up everything NOW! The quicker you can get away and start our own life the better! AND don't get into a "pissing match" with you wife about everything ...the only one that will win if you do is the "scum of the earth" lawyers!!!
NEXT try to improve yourself! ...Go back to school learn something that will enhance your life, job, or general education. And/or join a gym try to lost the "pot belly" and/or muscle up. It'll make you feel better about your self, and when you start thinking about another relationship it won't hurt either. Now what you don't want to do is jump into another serious relationship ...give your self sometime ...at least a year!!!
Now I laid down alot of good advice here, do yourself a favor pick it up and run with it! I've shared this with afew other people, and you could see it go in one ear and out the other ...and not even slow do! It's not rocket science, but it is up to you! Good Luck my Friend!!!0
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