Has your 15 year old daughter lied to you today?
The short version....
Daughter wanted to spend the night with a friend. No problem. Parent at other house will be home. Friend has to work at 9.00 am. Hmm...girls will not be up all night...yep...sounds good.
I just had this "feeling" since they left at 10.20 pm....
So..at midnight, I drove over to friends house...only ONE light on. No TV, no porch light, and the other parent's vehicle is not there. HMMM.
I called my wife, requesting her to start calling cell phones. NOBODY ANSWERS! I am standing on the front porch at the other house. Finally, our daughter calls her mom back. Mom advises that I am on the front porch...daughter tells her she will meet me in a second at the front porch.
5 minutes go by...10 minutes go by....nope...nobody home.
I called my wife again, requesting her to start calling cell phones again.
Finally, at 1.00 am, daughter arrives at our house. Our oldest daughter (19), found them, and arranged for extra drivers to get both girls home. Other girl had been drinking.
Our daughter advised she did not know the other girl was drinking.
Let's see...I believe we lost count at 20 lies in a span of 3.5 hours.
Teenagers...ARGH!!!
My vote....she will not be going ANYWHERE for 6 months. No phone, no internet, no...no...no...don't even ask.
Daughter wanted to spend the night with a friend. No problem. Parent at other house will be home. Friend has to work at 9.00 am. Hmm...girls will not be up all night...yep...sounds good.
I just had this "feeling" since they left at 10.20 pm....
So..at midnight, I drove over to friends house...only ONE light on. No TV, no porch light, and the other parent's vehicle is not there. HMMM.
I called my wife, requesting her to start calling cell phones. NOBODY ANSWERS! I am standing on the front porch at the other house. Finally, our daughter calls her mom back. Mom advises that I am on the front porch...daughter tells her she will meet me in a second at the front porch.
5 minutes go by...10 minutes go by....nope...nobody home.
I called my wife again, requesting her to start calling cell phones again.
Finally, at 1.00 am, daughter arrives at our house. Our oldest daughter (19), found them, and arranged for extra drivers to get both girls home. Other girl had been drinking.
Our daughter advised she did not know the other girl was drinking.
Let's see...I believe we lost count at 20 lies in a span of 3.5 hours.
Teenagers...ARGH!!!
My vote....she will not be going ANYWHERE for 6 months. No phone, no internet, no...no...no...don't even ask.
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Don't forget what time I posted this. " 03/17/2007 : 02:21:37 AM "
Mad as heck...oh yeah. 6 months...no. But one month...oh yeah...definitely.
Yes, I have learned about punishing the kids and not us.
Not saying that they do the following without pushing them to do so...
Clean THEIR bedroom (girls are THE worst!!)
Wash clothes
Cook dinner (it is TRULY surprising how many kids would starve today, if their parents or grandparents were not around. No bull, but my son could be a chef. But it would be in a restaurant that served spicy/hot food!)
Wash the dogs & pick up the poo (not my dogs...that was #1 & #1 condition of getting the animals. I love animals...the rest is easy.
Yep...I was one of the rowdy group. Only difference, I did not lie to my parents - was taught that early on. By the time I was 16, my mom was usually afraid to ask me what we were going to do at night...because I would tell here EXACTLY what the plan was. Kegger? Drag Racing? Salt the oposing team football field with our letter (this took a LOT of rocksalt), go to Canada for a street dance (because we could drink up there - they NEVER checked ID's...and...well, the girls REALLY liked us foreigners).
Thanks...
By the way, I still have a couple more years of being stupid...somedays I believe there is a glimmer of hope for me and my wife...not much, but just a low glow!0 -
quote:Originally posted by dcloco
Don't forget what time I posted this. " 03/17/2007 : 02:21:37 AM "
Mad as heck...oh yeah. 6 months...no. But one month...oh yeah...definitely.
Yes, I have learned about punishing the kids and not us.
Not saying that they do the following without pushing them to do so...
Clean THEIR bedroom (girls are THE worst!!)
Wash clothes
Cook dinner (it is TRULY surprising how many kids would starve today, if their parents or grandparents were not around. No bull, but my son could be a chef. But it would be in a restaurant that served spicy/hot food!)
Wash the dogs & pick up the poo (not my dogs...that was #1 & #1 condition of getting the animals. I love animals...the rest is easy.
Yep...I was one of the rowdy group. Only difference, I did not lie to my parents - was taught that early on. By the time I was 16, my mom was usually afraid to ask me what we were going to do at night...because I would tell here EXACTLY what the plan was. Kegger? Drag Racing? Salt the oposing team football field with our letter (this took a LOT of rocksalt), go to Canada for a street dance (because we could drink up there - they NEVER checked ID's...and...well, the girls REALLY liked us foreigners).
Thanks...
By the way, I still have a couple more years of being stupid...somedays I believe there is a glimmer of hope for me and my wife...not much, but just a low glow!
A month is hardcore, but definitely makes the point. I'm glad you stepped it down. I say good call.0 -
Plus one, you know there going to do it, at least do what you can to supress it.quote:Originally posted by jbw1776
Mines not at the teenage age yet (still a little one) but I'm gonna have to agree with your parenting on this one.
By the way, Bravo on being a REAL parent and checking up on her.[^] Teenagers will screw up, most all of us did, but it's the ones with parents that don't care enough to KNOW what their child is doing that make the permanent screw-ups.
Good luck![:D]
Ben0 -
quote:Originally posted by kristov
While I think that your six months is an exageration, one month would of home "confinement" would be resonable. I have two girs of my own and the one thing I would not tolerate from them is lying. I want the truth, no matter what or how bad it may be. My youngest girl was/is very shy, was never socially active and pefered to stay close to home while my oldest daughter was ready to take on the world by about age 13! While Christine (the oldest) had dozens of freinds from school, most of her social circle was made up of her girls soccer team. This made things easy because all of the parents from the team knew each other and information was freely exchanged. Parties, dinners, sleep-overs were the norm and we had to host a number of these events and respond the phone calls in the middle of the night from concerned parents who wanted to be sure that their little Jannie was actually here! My rules for sleep-overs with my daughter was that she could not stay overnight in the home of ANYONE who's parents her mother or I had not meet personally. She was not allowed to stay out beyond 10PM with the host family unless her mother and I were made aware of the evenings program (dinner and movie or some other type of activity) and if I telephoned the house of the host family (not their cell) after 10PM my daughter had a maximum of five minutes to get to that telephone and converse with me. Any violation of those rules meant that she would not be able to participate in her next two soccer matches. League championship next week? Not my problem, she would not be playing. Coach says he'll boot her off the team if she does not play? Tough, she should have thought about that ahead of time. The net result was that there was never a single problem. Dating on the other hand was a whole other issue...[:(!]
Actually, unless dcoclo intends to pardon his daughter in less than six months, this is not an "exageration" (the correct spelling is "exaggeration"). Unless he has forgiven his daughter as of now and lifted the punishment you have no way of knowing if this is indeed an exaggeration.
An exaggeration is an overstatement, like fishing stories of "the one that got away." You might have intended to say that this punishment was extreme or harsh but, by stating that it is an exageration you imply that the originator of the thread is a liar, at least of sorts.
Six months may be extreme to some, lenient to others. The only one who can make that decision would be dcolco.0 -
I'm glad my daughter is only 8 years old. 0 -
Blkhrn - The correct spelling of "gaughter", is "daughter".
Unless this is a new word. If it is, what is its' meaning??
D.
poke, poke0 -
Tom, sorry to hear you had to deal with this. I know, us teenagers aren't very easy to deal with at times. But I applaud you for having the stones to be a parent in this situation. I'll be praying for your family, especially your daughter and you parents. Best of luck in this. 0 -
Cheater - You fixed it.
D.0 -
I once "grounded" my daughter until school was out in May. I did this in early January. She thought I would relent but there were no pardons. Never again did she commit the infraction of lying to the old man. -Don 0 -
Gotta let them out a bit...so that they can step on their toes.
I know that I did. The teaching and the learning never ends.
On the bright side, I called my stepdad this morning. Yep, he got a chuckle and ended the call with "...paybacks are a b-_-_!".0 -
Thats growing up..leave her be if she's educated to your standard ..she'll be fine..
experience is a good thing when it goes wrong, just chat to her & be there..[;)]
heres a tip.
don't spy..don't get upset.& if you loose her friendship, expect eary grandparenting.[:)]0 -
Here we go again,.........listen to all of the "friends" here! Parents are authority figures,.......you can be friends with your kids after they are successfully raised, and on their own. The friend mentality means your kids will still be kids at 30, and probably still living with you, or leaching from you. It is up to everyone to do what they choose, but let me ask this,........have things been IMPROVING over the last several decades? I think not! Try and figure out why! I am engaged to a wonderful woman, that was a horrible parent. Her 2 grown daughters are losers, and incapable of living a normal life, but that is their problem. Her 13 year old son was flunking out of school, and becoming a real pain, and following in the footsteps of the daughters until I came into the situation a couple of years ago. The son now makes mostly A's, with a couple of B's,...........I put him into private school, and after some initial issues, told him the next step was Military school. Suddenly the A's started coming, and he started to listen when an adult told him to do something! Not asking why everytime,.......just doing it! Kids test authority all the time, and if there are not real consequences,........YOU become a JOKE to them. If a kid grows up to be an adult by years, with out accepting authority, what the heck do you think they are going to do? End up in prison for one, not be able to hold down a job,.........must accept authority from a boss, can't have their own business, as I do,...........must discipline yourself more than a boss would to be successfull. As far as I know, there is no calling for people to sit around and be a smartass all day, and get paid for it!! Good luck with your feel good Rosie O'Donnell, and Oprah mentality. 0 -
Marc - I couldn't have said it better myself.
D.
Well... maybe a little better.0 -
Update - daughter is a little mad, but does understand that actions have consequences.
She also understands that WE are responsible for her, SHE is responsible for herself, SHE is responsible for her friends, and we will not tolerate behavior that happened.0 -
quote:Originally posted by dcloco
Update - daughter is a little mad, but does understand that actions have consequences.
She also understands that WE are responsible for her, SHE is responsible for herself, SHE is responsible for her friends, and we will not tolerate behavior that happened.
sounds like it's working out well, then. Again, good job.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Blckhrn
quote:Originally posted by kristov
While I think that your six months is an exageration, one month would of home "confinement" would be resonable. I have two girs of my own and the one thing I would not tolerate from them is lying. I want the truth, no matter what or how bad it may be. My youngest girl was/is very shy, was never socially active and pefered to stay close to home while my oldest daughter was ready to take on the world by about age 13! While Christine (the oldest) had dozens of freinds from school, most of her social circle was made up of her girls soccer team. This made things easy because all of the parents from the team knew each other and information was freely exchanged. Parties, dinners, sleep-overs were the norm and we had to host a number of these events and respond the phone calls in the middle of the night from concerned parents who wanted to be sure that their little Jannie was actually here! My rules for sleep-overs with my daughter was that she could not stay overnight in the home of ANYONE who's parents her mother or I had not meet personally. She was not allowed to stay out beyond 10PM with the host family unless her mother and I were made aware of the evenings program (dinner and movie or some other type of activity) and if I telephoned the house of the host family (not their cell) after 10PM my daughter had a maximum of five minutes to get to that telephone and converse with me. Any violation of those rules meant that she would not be able to participate in her next two soccer matches. League championship next week? Not my problem, she would not be playing. Coach says he'll boot her off the team if she does not play? Tough, she should have thought about that ahead of time. The net result was that there was never a single problem. Dating on the other hand was a whole other issue...[:(!]
Actually, unless dcoclo intends to pardon his daughter in less than six months, this is not an "exageration" (the correct spelling is "exaggeration"). Unless he has forgiven his daughter as of now and lifted the punishment you have no way of knowing if this is indeed an exaggeration.
An exaggeration is an overstatement, like fishing stories of "the one that got away." You might have intended to say that this punishment was extreme or harsh but, by stating that it is an exageration you imply that the originator of the thread is a liar, at least of sorts.
Six months may be extreme to some, lenient to others. The only one who can make that decision would be dcolco.
Well if you really want to split hairs over language, you probably ought to learn to spell dcloco's name, too.
Hell, dude, I'm pretty gripey about language and even I think you're being an a-vacancy.0 -
dont spare the rod. if you lose them at this time in life, youll lose them forever.
sin no's no boundaries. its a warzone at any age. put sin in its place. challenge it, correct it, and they will respect you later in life when it happens to them.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Colonel Plink
quote:Originally posted by spanielsells
This would be reason #3836 why my wife and I don't want kids.
Parents, particularly parents of girls, are masochists. [:D] But I admire anyone who can do it and remain sane after 21 years.
My wife and I had the exact same list for nearly ten years. Things change. I adore my daughter and cherish every moment I can spend with her, knowing that no matter how good of parents my wife and I strive to be, there area going to be times when our little angel will test the fences. And when she reaches puberty, I'm simply going to shoot myself in the head with the largest caliber handgun I own.
Things might change, but in our case, it won't. My wife will be 34 this week. I'll be 39 next month. It isn't as if we're going to mature in the next few years and say, "Gosh, what were we thinking? Let's have some kids!" My wife is really wanting a historectomy (for a variety of reasons, some health-related ones for her) and our problem is that we can't find a doctor to do the procedure -- they're all terrified that one day we'll sue when we change our minds, because they all know better than we do as to what we want.0 -
Teenagers are proof of why some animals eat their young![;)]
Trinity +++0 -
O.K.,O.K.,O.K. , I deal with this on a regular basis (@ work as a LEO),so , Good Luck and keep up the good work ... or just send her to me ...
Good Luck !!!
d.a.stearns
Gunsmith / LEO
Niota , Tn0 -
Kids are what it is all about. I have two teenage boys and a girl. They drive me crazy some of the time. I step back and remember what it was like being that age. I never did anything to intentionally hurt my my mom and dad I just did things I wanted because I was willing to take the punishment if and when I got caught. I try to remember that now. Its not about me, its about them. Sure they get punished, my oldest sat home this weekend while our schools basketball team won the state title. Next time he will think about his actions beforehand. Thats what I want. Think. Its tough being a Dad or Mom. But its the best job in the World!!! 0 -
quote:Originally posted by abcguns2
O.K.,O.K.,O.K. , I deal with this on a regular basis (@ work as a LEO),so , Good Luck and keep up the good work ... or just send her to me ...
Good Luck !!!
LOL! That is what I am trying to do...keep her from meeting people in your position...when YOU are at WORK!
Thanks everybody.
I know..patience...keep steering the ship....
But man....somedays...what the heck are they thinking.
I probably was, but I really hope that I was not that stupid at her age.0 -
quote:Originally posted by spanielsells
quote:
Things might change, but in our case, it won't. My wife will be 34 this week. I'll be 39 next month. It isn't as if we're going to mature in the next few years and say, "Gosh, what were we thinking? Let's have some kids!" My wife is really wanting a historectomy (for a variety of reasons, some health-related ones for her) and our problem is that we can't find a doctor to do the procedure -- they're all terrified that one day we'll sue when we change our minds, because they all know better than we do as to what we want.
Ah. Well, that's that, then. Listen, if ya ever get a hankerin' for kids, I'll let you babysit mine until the urge passes.
Oughtta take about half an hour.0 -
Well,O.k. , thats the thought that I wish more parents would take !
Good Luck , and keep up the work ...
Thanks !!!
d.a.stearns
Gunsmith / LEO
Niota , Tn0 -
Go easy man. This is one of those teenage catch 22s. She's going to have sex someday, and the more strict the rules are the sooner it usually happens. Your little girl is growning up, and if you don't do everything you can to open up lines of communication so that you & your wife can teach her without her fears of repurcussions then she'll learn through experience instead.
Ben0 -
She DOES NOT have to have sex out of wedlock.
D.0
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