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Funniest movie line to you?

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44 comments

  • Cubslover
    Christmas Vacation, after Chevy Chase tells the family what kind of person his boss is, he says...

    "Holy Sh^t, where's the Tylenol?"

    Or....

    Forrest Gump...

    "Did you find God, Forrest?"
    "I didn't know I was supposed to be looking for him, sir."
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  • Queen of Swords
    Just about every line from "Airplane.."

    Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
    Captain Oveur: I can't tell.
    Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
    Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
    Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
    Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
    Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?
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  • buschmaster
    "Airplane", the whole movie.
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  • MrOrange
    Can't say it's my personal funniest, but one that comes to mind is in Die Hard III, in the taxi careening off road through the park.


    Zeus: Are you trying to hit these people?

    McClane: No!

    Maybe that mime...
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  • Henry0Reilly
    Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School

    "Bring us a pitcher of beer every 10 minutes until somebody passes out, then bring us a pitcher every 5 minutes."
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  • Idahobound
    +1 one with many from Christmas Vacation

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN-zpf8QJ94
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  • get_involved
    You guys have had enough of beans!
    0
  • Spider7115
    Jim Carrey in "Dumb and Dumber":

    "When I met Mary, I got that old-fashioned romantic feeling, where I'd do anything to bone her."
    0
  • elkoholic
    Star Wars

    "I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
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  • oldnbald
    Don't remember the name of the show, but it had Clint Eastwood and Bernadette Peters in Las Vegas. She's sitting in the car waiting for Eastwood when a man comes up and opens his raincoat and flashes her. She says: "Looks like a pe**s, only smaller".
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  • zink
    One of many in "Blazing Saddles" that can't be repeated here.

    Lance
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  • allen griggs
    In "48 Hours" when Eddie Murphy is in the redneck bar.

    He says, "I am your worst nightmare, a n****r with a badge!"
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  • Queen of Swords
    Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
    Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
    Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
    Brother Maynard: Amen.
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  • The Dutchman
    Randy Quaid in vacation:

    "I don't know why they call it Hamburger Helper. It does fine all by itself."
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  • OldNavyGuy
    I thought I would break a rib when in the movie naked gun Leslie Nielson sternly tells the girl working at the adult novelty store ...

    "I'm the last line of defense between filth like this and the decent people of this city!" ... then the guy comes out of the back and says .."Hi, Frank the model 70 Super suck Machine you ordered just arrived" .... cracked me up!
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  • jabronij3
    don't remember the name of the movie but Kris Kristofferson and another guy find these two girls in a car broke down in the desert and one of the girls says sarcastically "are you here to invite us to the policeman's ball?" and Kristofferson says " no ma'am we're border patrol, we don't have balls" I'm laughing now just typing it! HA!
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  • zink
    jabronij3,

    It was "Flashpoint" and the other guy was Treat Williams. They were Border Patrol agents that found the CIA pay off money from the Kennedy assisnation.

    LANCE
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  • beneteau
    Pappy O'Daniel---O Brother, Where Art Thou

    Shake a leg Junior! Thank God your mammy died givin' birth. If she'd have seen you, she'd have died o' shame.
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  • Queen of Swords
    "Lord loves a working man....don't trust whitey...see a doctor and get rid of it..."
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  • bigtire
    Pulp Fiction

    !BANG! "I'm sorry, Did I break your concentration?"
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  • HighNoon
    From Raising Arizona when Holly Hunter was trying to get pregnant and Nichols Cage's narration as she returned from the doctor was, "Her insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase."
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  • cce1302
    "Anyone who runs is a VC. Anyone who stands still is a well-disciplined VC."


    "How can you shoot innocent women and children?"
    "It's easy. You just don't lead 'em as much."
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  • bhale187
    quote:Originally posted by cce1302
    "Anyone who runs is a VC. Anyone who stands still is a well-disciplined VC."


    "How can you shoot innocent women and children?"
    "It's easy. You just don't lead 'em as much."

    +1
    0
  • 11b6r
    Not as good as Airplane, Hot Shots, or Blazing Saddles, but one good one from Jaws- when they see the size of the shark. "We're gonna need a bigger boat...." and one good one from Broken Arrow- a fairly lame flick- "Please do NOT shoot at the thermonuclear weapons!"
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  • p3skyking
    In Winchester 73, two of the bad guys are discussing having had to leave their guns in Dodge City;

    BG1: "I haven't felt this naked since I last took a bath".
    BG2: "You got a long memory"

    [:D]
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  • Buffler
    Billy Crystal to Jack Palance...."Killed anyone today Curly?"
    Grins, "Day ain't over yet!!" Curlys Gold movies...GREAT!!
    BE SAFE!! Buffler
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  • bigtire
    "Jesus, Jesus. Fetch a ladder so Sgt. Posey can get up on that poor, unfortunate animal." -- Jimmy Stewart as Marshal Guthrie McCabe in TWO RODE TOGETHER (1961).

    I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like victory.
    Apocalypse Now, spoken by Robert Duvall

    That's 30 minutes away. I'll be there in 10.
    Pulp Fiction, spoken by Harvey Kietel

    CAPT. OVEUR (Peter Graves): "You ever been in a cockpit before?"
    JOEY (Rossie Harris): "No sir, I've never been up in a plane before."
    CAPT. OVEUR (Peter Graves): "You ever seen a grown man naked?"
    AIRPLANE! Paramount, 1980

    MORTIMER BREWSTER (Cary Grant): "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops."
    ARSENIC AND OLD LACE, Warner Bros., 1944

    BART (Cleavon Little): "Excuse me while I whip this out."
    BLAZING SADDLES, Warner Bros., 1974

    ELWOOD BLUES (Dan Aykroyd): "We're on a mission from God."
    THE BLUES BROTHERS, Universal, 1980

    TY WEBB (Chevy Chase): "Be the ball. nu nu nu nu nu"
    CADDYSHACK, Orion, 1980

    MRS. PARKER (Melinda Dillon): "You'll shoot your eye out."
    A CHRISTMAS STORY, MGM, 1983

    CAPTAIN (Strother Martin): "What we've got here is failure to communicate." # 11
    COOL HAND LUKE, Warner Bros., 1967

    HELEN BENSON (Patricia Neal): "Gort! Klaatu barada nikto!"
    THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL, Twentieth Century Fox, 1951

    EVELYN COUCH (Kathy Bates): "Face it girls, I'm older and I have more insurance."
    FRIED GREEN TOMATOES, Universal, 1991
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  • peon
    Don't know about the funniest, but this always made me laugh.

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=tktNZpUTMoQ
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  • gearheaddad
    There are a million great ones in Stripes and Caddy Shack!!
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  • mrseatle
    Ronald Reagan in "Cavalry Charge"

    "We don't shoot women and children... ...much"
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