Joke
sorry no time take the >> out.
Hello?"
>>"Hi honey. This is Daddy.Is Mommy near the phone?"
>>"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle
>>Paul."
>>After a brief pause,
>>Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle
>>Paul."
>>"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with
>>Mommy, right now."
>>Brief Pause.
>>"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put
>>the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on
>>the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car
>>just pulled into the driveway."
>>"Okay, Daddy, just a minute."
>>A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the
>>phone.
>>"I did it, Daddy."
>>"And what happened, honey?" he asked.
>>"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with
>>no clothes on, then she ran around screaming. Then
>>she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
>>and now she isn't moving at all!"
>>"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
>>"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He
>>was all scared and he jumped out of the back window
>>and into the swimming
>>pool. I guess he didn't know that you took out the
>>water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the
>>pool and I think he's dead."
>>***Long Pause***
>>
>>***Longer Pause***
>>***Even Longer Pause***
>>
>>Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?............Is this 486-5731?"
Hello?"
>>"Hi honey. This is Daddy.Is Mommy near the phone?"
>>"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle
>>Paul."
>>After a brief pause,
>>Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle
>>Paul."
>>"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with
>>Mommy, right now."
>>Brief Pause.
>>"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put
>>the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on
>>the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car
>>just pulled into the driveway."
>>"Okay, Daddy, just a minute."
>>A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the
>>phone.
>>"I did it, Daddy."
>>"And what happened, honey?" he asked.
>>"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with
>>no clothes on, then she ran around screaming. Then
>>she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
>>and now she isn't moving at all!"
>>"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
>>"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He
>>was all scared and he jumped out of the back window
>>and into the swimming
>>pool. I guess he didn't know that you took out the
>>water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the
>>pool and I think he's dead."
>>***Long Pause***
>>
>>***Longer Pause***
>>***Even Longer Pause***
>>
>>Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?............Is this 486-5731?"
0
-
Panda walks into a bar-The Bartender cant believe it!Damn,i cant believe what im seeing!What,ll it be Panda? Lettuce and a Bud Lite,responds Panda.Sure,commin up!Panda munches on lettuce while casually sipping his beer.Everyone enjoys seeing the Panda and wants to buy his next beer.Finally the Panda gets up,pulls an Uzi out of his fur and starts shooting up the Bar.Glasses and liquor bottles exploding,pure pandemonium! Then the Panda calmly walks toward the door.Bartender peeks over Bar-Panda,why did you shoot up my Bar? Im a Panda,look it up.Bartender grabs a dictionary and looks it up.PANDA-Black and white Mammal indigenous to Western China,eats chutes and leaves. 0 -
THE BACON TREE
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to
death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the
inevitable,
when all of a sudden...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I am sure of eet."
"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee."
So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune,
and there in the distance is a tree, just loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back
bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat!
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree."
"Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don't
forget."
"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell of bacon...ees
no
meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 meters,
Pepe
following closely behind, when all of a sudden a
machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear
he
is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn
Pepe
with his dying breath.
"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree."
"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree...........
Ees.....
Ees.....
Ees.....
Ees.....
Ees.....
Ees.....
Ees.....
a HAM BUSH!0 -
About those Church Hymns
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.
Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind."
The pastor shouted out "CROSS."
Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS."
The pastor hollered out "GRACE." The congregation began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound."
The pastor said "POWER."
The congregation sang "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD."
The Pastor said "SEX" The congregation fell into total silence.
Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything.
Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church,
a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES."0 -
Why do men have 2 heads and a women has 4 lips because men do all the thinking and women do all the talking. 0 -
An elderly lady was walking on the golf course on the island of Martha's Vineyard . She slipped and fell.
Obama who was behind her by chance, helped her to get up promptly. She thanked him and he answered "It was a pleasure to help you. Don't you recognize me? I am your president. Are you going to vote for me in the next election? "
The elderly woman laughed and replied: ''No way, I fell on my but ... not on my head......0 -
A dung beetle goes into a bar and asks the bartender "Is this stool taken?"
Pa rum pum...0 -
Kermit the frog found out he had Swine Flu.. The last thing he said was "That pig said she was clean!" 0 -
0 -
A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral........I'm a gynecologist."
That's when the proctologist fainted.
Better to have and not need, than need and not have.0 -
A guy walks into a doctors office with a 5 iron wrapped around his neck and 2 black eyes. "What happened to you?" asked the doctor. "Well it all started when my wife and I were golfing and by accident she hit the ball into a cow field. When we went to investigate, I saw the ball in a cow's ass. I went and lifted the tail of the cow and that's when I made my mistake." The doctor looked puzzled and asked, "What mistake was that?"
"I said 'Hey this looks like yours hun!'"0 -
Salaam alaikum,
Here's a good one. No offence to anyone, ok?
A man dashes into the Pope's office, panting, gasping, and trying to speak all at once.
"What's the matter?" the Pope asks, offering the man a seat.
"Oh your Grace!" the man exclaims, flopping on the chair. "I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
"Give me the good news," the Pope says.
"Oh your Grace! JESUS is on the phone and he wants to speak to you!" the panting man exclaims.
"Praise the Lord!" the jubilant Pope replies, "What could the bad news possibly be?"
"Your Grace, he's calling from Mecca!" [:D][}:)]
[:D]0 -
This is for the GD forum
7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.
7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.
7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Non religious prayer and worship.
Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.
8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:05 P.M . Ceremonial tree hugging.
8:15- 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding-- Barney Frank Presiding.
8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan -- Susan Sarandon.
9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender -- French
President Jacques Chirac.
9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund.
9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo
Bay with Sean Penn.
9:40 P.M. Why I hate the military, a short talk by William Jefferson
Clinton.
9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award, presented
by Michael Moore.
9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:00 P.M. How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World
Trade Center Towers -- Howard Dean.
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmud Ahnadinejad.
11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet.
11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War criminals -- John Kerry.
11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton.
12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home!
???? Oh also why was this post deleted?0 -
My neighbors the lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday.I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex it was very nice of them,but I think they miss understood me when I said
" I wanna watch "0 -
THE OBAMA NATION PRIMER
The little red hen called all of her Democrat neighbors together and said, 'If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?'
'Not I,' said the cow.
'Not I,' said the duck.
'Not I,' said the pig.
'Not I,' said the goose.
'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.
'Who will help me reap my wheat?' asked the little red hen.
'Not I,' said the duck...
'Out of my classification,' said the pig.
'I'd lose my seniority,' said the cow.
'I'd lose my unemployment compensation,' said the goose.
'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.
At last it came time to bake the bread.
'Who will help me bake the bread?' asked the little red hen.
'That would be overtime for me,' said the cow.
'I'd lose my welfare benefits,' said the duck.
'I'm a dropout and never learned how,' said the pig.
'If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination,' said the goose.
'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, 'No, I shall eat all five loaves.'
'Excess profits!' cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)
'Capitalist leech!' screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)
'I demand equal rights!' yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)
The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)
And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.
Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, 'You must not be so greedy.'
'But I earned the bread,' said the little red hen.
'Exactly,' said Barack the farmer. 'That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle.'
And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, 'I am grateful, for now I truly understand.'
But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.
(Bread became scarce and the price tripled)
Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared...so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.
EPILOGUE
Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs.
Hillary got $8 million for hers.
That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years, repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.
IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT ?0 -
An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed.
While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly
smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette
sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his
remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of
the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the
railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With
labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing
into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he
would have thought himself already in heaven, for there,
spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were
literally hundreds of his favorite anisette sprinkle
cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love
from his devoted Italian wife of sixty years, seeing to
it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself
towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled
posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of
the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing
him back to life. The aged and withered hand trembled on
its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it
was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife......
"Back off!" she said, "They're for the funeral."
NRA MEMBER0 -
A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing theTexas plains without water.
His horse has already died of thirst.
He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has
breathed his last breath,
when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out
of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand and
discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.
He opens it and out pops a genie.
But this is no ordinary genie.
She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management
Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress.
There is a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a
pencil tucked behind one ear.
'Well, cowboy,' says the genie..You know how I
work....You have three wishes.
'I'm not falling for this.' said the cowboy...'I'm
not going to trust a FEMA genie.'
'What do you have to lose? You've got no
transportation and it looks like you're a goner anyway!'
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and decides
that the genie is right.
'OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of
food and drink.'
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis
he has ever seen
and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters o
f delicacies.
'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'
'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest
dreams.'
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure
chests filled with
rare gold coins and precious gems.
'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better
make it a good one!'
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says....
'I wish that no
matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need
me.'
***POOF***
He was turned into a tampon.
Moral of the story:
If the government offers to help you, there's going
to be a string attached.0 -
After an evening having sex with a new lover a man looks on her nightstand and notices a picture of a man, worried he asks her:
"Is that your husband?"
"No" she answers "I'm not married"
"Is that your boyfriend?"
"No, till tonight I haven't been seeing any one"
"Is that your brother?"
"No, I'm an only child"
Then finally he ask "May I ask who that is?"
She answers.....
Wait for it.......
"That's me before the surgery"0 -
A nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an
18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a
rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write
with it.
When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabber-
gasted teller and without missing a beat, she says: 'Well,
that's great....some a-s--le got my pen0 -
Three men were playing a round of golf one day when the topic of their sons came up. One of the men said, "My son lives in South Florida and is in real estate. He is doing great. In fact, he is doing so well that he recently bought a house for one of his friends. I couldn't be more proud of him." The second man said, "My son is also living in South Florida and doing well. He is an investment banker and recently bought a friend of his a BMW. He is all I ever wanted him to turn out to be."
The third man didn't say anything. The first man asked about his son. He replied, "Well, I don't know if you are aware of it or not, but my son is gay. But I guess he is happy. He has met some great friends at some clubs. In fact, one of his friends has recently given him a home to live in and another friend has purchased him a BMW."0 -
Guy goes into a ladies lingerie shop,tells the lady he wants a nursing bra.The lady says what bust,the guy says the condom. 0 -
One day in the future, Barack
Obama has a heart-attack and
dies.
He immediately goes to hell,
where the devil is waiting for
him.
"I don't know what to do here,"
says the devil. "You are on my
list, but I have no room for you.
You definitely have to stay here,
so I'll tell you what I'm going to
do. I've got a couple of folks here
who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you
have to take their place. I'll even
let YOU decide who leaves."
Obama thought that sounded
pretty good, so the devil opened
the door to the first room.
In it was Ted Kennedy and a
large pool of water. Ted kept
diving in, and surfacing, empty
handed. Over, and over, and
over he dived in and surfaced
with nothing. Such was his fate
in hell.
"No," Obama said. "I don't think
so. I'm not a good swimmer, and
I don't think I could do that all
day long."
The devil led him to the door of
the next room.
In it was Al Gore with a sledge-
hammer and a room full of rocks.
All he did was swing that hammer,
time after time after time.
"No, this is no good; I've got
this problem with my shoulder.
I would be in constant agony if
all I could do was break rocks
all day," commented Obama.
The devil opened a third door.
Through it, Obama saw Bill
Clinton, lying on the bed, his
arms tied over his head, and his
legs restrained in a spread-eagle
pose. Bent over him was Monica
Lewinsky, doing what she does
best.
Obama looked at this in shocked
disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah
man, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said...........
(This is priceless...)
"OK, Monica, you're free to go."0 -
Priest was hanging a picture on the wall and hit his thumb with the hammer, "Damn it" he hollered, the Nun heard him and said Father, you know that if you talk like that God will strike you with lightning. The father swung the hammer again , again hitting his thumb, "Damn it" he hollered, all at once a bolt of lightning shot through the roof, and missing the Father, hit and destroyed the organ,, out of the sky came this voice "Damn it I missed again" 0 -
THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE
The Parking Ticket
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example,
the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop.
We were only in there for about 5 minutes.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out
a parking ticket.
We went up to him and said, 'Come on man, how about giving
a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started
writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So my wife called him a poop-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus and the car had an Obama sticker.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.0 -
This lady wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in her tree. She looks
in her phone book and finds a gorilla removal service.
When she asks if they can remove the gorilla, the service guy
asks, "Is it a male or female?"
"Male," she replies.
"Oh yeah, we can do it. I'll be right there," he states.
An hour later, the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a
shotgun, and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the woman some
instructions.
"I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until
he falls out of the tree. When he does, the trained Chihuahua will bite
the gorilla's testicles off. The gorilla will then cross his hands to
protect himself, allowing you to put the handcuffs on him."
The woman asks, "What do I do with the shotgun?"
The service guy replies, "If I fall out of the tree before
the gorilla does, shoot the Chihuahua."
"Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, not liberty to purchase power."
Benjamin Franklin, 17850 -
Guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.
Guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"
Customer says, "Female"
Counter guy asks, "Black or white?"
Customer says, "White"
Counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"
Customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"
Counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up."0 -
A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend.
They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:
"Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."
She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"
"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."0 -
The first time I read this quote, I thought it was
Dangerously true. Then I really started pondering it and thought how would
This apply to our own lives/careers? Let's look at it again to see how
Absurd it is.
* You couldn't get a job at McDonalds and
Become district manager
After 143 days of experience.
* You couldn't become chief of surgery
After 143 days of experience of being a surgeon.
* You couldn't get a job as a teacher and be
The superintendent after 143 days of experience.
* You couldn't join the military and become a
Colonel after a 143 days of experience.
* You couldn't get a job as a reporter and
Become the nightly news anchor after 143 days of experience.
BUT....
* 'From the time Barack Obama was sworn in
As a United State Senator, to the time he announced he was forming a
Presidential exploratory committee, he logged 143 days of experience in the
Senate.
* That's how many days the Senate was
Actually in session and working.
* After 143 days of work experience, Obama
Believed he was ready to be Commander In Chief,
Leader of the Free World, and fill the shoes of Abraham
Lincoln,FDR, JFK and Ronald Reagan. 143 days?
We all have to start somewhere. The senate is a
Good start, but after 143 days, that's all it is - a start.
AND, strangely, a large sector of the American
Public seems to feel comfortable with this and
Are campaigning for him.
We wouldn't accept this in our own line of work,
Yet some are OK with this
For the President of the United States of America?0 -
I was talking to a friend of mine's little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day.
Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President,
what would be the first thing you would do?" She replied, "I'd
give food and houses to all the homeless people." "Wow - what a worthy goal!" I told her. "You
don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds,
and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then, I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy
hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house." She thought that over for a few
moments because she's only 6 years old. And while her Mom glared at me, the young child looked me straight in the
eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"
And I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party." Her folks still aren't talking to me.0 -
Subject: the rabbit
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit
jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it,
but unfortunately the rabbit
jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man
as well as an animal lover,
pulls over and gets out to see
what has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead.
The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway
sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explains,
"I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry."
She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can.
She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit,
bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them
and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stops,
turns around and waves again,
he hops down the road another 10 feet,
turns and waves, hops another ten feet,
turns and waves, and repeats this again
and again and again,
until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished.
He runs over to the woman and demands,
"What is in that can?
What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around
so that the man can read the label.
It says...
(Are you ready for this?)
(Are you sure?)
(This is bad!)
(It's not even a Blonde Joke!)
(You know you could just click off
and not read the punch line....)
(You can still delete it)
(You know you're gonna be sorry)
(Last chance)
(OK, here it is)
It says,
"Hair Spray -
Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave."
Larry0 -
A old eastern Ky. Farmer had a wife who naged him From morning to dark and then some. Well he took to plowing the back 40 2 or 3 times a week so he didn't have to listen to her. One day she brought his lunch out to him. He no sooner got set down on a stump to eat when she staryted in " NAG, NAG" Well the mule was tired of it too. The mule hauled off and kicked her so hard she was dead before she hit the ground.
A couple days later, at the funnerl the preist noticed some thing odd. All the women who went to talk to the old man would say a few words and the old man would nod his head, every one no exception. When the men went to talk yo him he would shack his no, every man there.
Well the preast got to wondering what was going on,so he just up and asked the old man. "Well all the women said how good my wife looked and how nice she was dressed."
scrool down
"And all the men wanted to know if the mule was for sale."0
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