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You are going to commit a murder ...

zipperzap
Problem solving exercise: You are going to commit murder. How are you going to get away with it? We'd like the 'perfect murder' here.

I saw a movie in flight the other day - Anthony Perkins/forgot the title - and it got me to thinking.

Note: I am not a homicidal psychopath - well, probably not yet, anyway. Just been reading G. K. Chesterton (detective fiction writer, for the uninitiated). Father Brown, Holmes, Dupin... these guys always get their man. And now, in the age of forensic science, it's even harder to imagine getting away with murder. However, I do have a few ideas. But you first.
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Comments

55 comments

Date Votes
  • sarge_3ad
    quote:Originally posted by formerlywrong
    Nowadays, avoiding DNA identification is the first biggie. I like the hogs idea, especially since the DNA evidence is not traceable in hog feces. They'll eat everything but a skull, which they can't bite, so you have to figure out how to get rid of skulls. Burning completely destroys DNA.

    The surest way for this to work, guaranteed, is if the farmer who owns the hogs is named Dale Price.


    That's the reason you run the body through a grinder/ mixer. Let the corn and protien supplement clean the input of DNA. A grinder, with the right screen in it would make tiny piecec of the bone.

    Just a side note. When I was a kid, I ground alot of feed for hogs. I guess my mind would sometimes wonders.[:D]
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  • oneeyedokie
    quote:Originally posted by 1911a1fan
    just kill yourself, i guarantee you'll get away with it

    [:D][:D][xx(]
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  • Sky Soldier
    Wow. Sum peepel giv uman beans a bad name.
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  • pitbud5
    Kill them with kindness[|)]
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  • JamesRK
    quote:Originally posted by sarge_3ad
    My first wife....eer,I mean, if I were to murder someone, I always thought maybe a guy could get away with it if he would render the victim unconcious, run the body through a grinder/ mixer while making feed, and feed the hogs.

    That was on Forensic Files. It didn't work. [;)] [:D]
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  • Colt Super
    s-a-l-T-W-A-T-e-r

    Good puzzle.

    Doug
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  • LKB3rd
    Watch "Henry:Portrait of a Serial Killer." Cool movie- very violent and somewhat disturbing, but good if you're a horror/gore/killer movie fan.
    He only killed people he didn't know and had no connections to whatsoever. He did it randomly using different methods each time. He only got caught when he started to lose his mind and get sloppy. So.. don't lose your mind.
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  • Rockatansky
    Alright, the first thing would be -- I'd never talk about it on the Internet. [}:)]
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  • PennyPincher
    quote:Originally posted by formerlywrong
    Nowadays, avoiding DNA identification is the first biggie. I like the hogs idea, especially since the DNA evidence is not traceable in hog feces. They'll eat everything but a skull, which they can't bite, so you have to figure out how to get rid of skulls. Burning completely destroys DNA.

    The surest way for this to work, guaranteed, is if the farmer who owns the hogs is named Dale Price.


    I just read an article about this. I mean DNA at murder trials. The article basically stated that a lot of guilty people are being found "not guilty" because the jurors think that every murder has 12 solid pieces of DNA evidence that will link the criminal to the crime because of what they see on TV. The truth is most police departments don't have that type of resources and a lot of cases are circumstantial or the evidence can be interpretted for or against the defendant and the jurors are finding "reasonable doubt" because they expect what they see on tv crime shows.
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  • zipperzap
    I've read the same thing from time to time. It's got to be frustrating.
    TV sometimes creates a lot more problems than it's worth - except
    for cartoons, that is.
    [:o)]
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  • gruntled
    Carefully study the Scott Peterson trial & make a list of all the stupid things not to do.
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  • Jake_S-83
    push her ass down the stairs.
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  • RUGERGUNZ
    Very Simple


    Make an empty lobstertrap with no heads, concrete runners and 8 bricks. Put the body in the trap and dump in on mud bottom in 200+ depth of water, without any ropes of course. The trap will not get entangled in any gear and will sink into the mud, completely covering the trap in under a year.


    Wash the boat in On/Off (Sulfuric acid cleaner) which is normally used on lobsterboats and then spill bait juice (fish blood) all over to cover any other blood.



    Done.
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  • zipperzap
    YO!

    Youse in da WRONG business!

    Contact my cousin Vito in da Bronx!
    He may have some business for'yas!
    [8D]
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  • GuvamintCheese
    quote:Originally posted by RUGERGUNZ
    Very Simple


    Make an empty lobstertrap with no heads, concrete runners and 8 bricks. Put the body in the trap and dump in on mud bottom in 200+ depth of water, without any ropes of course. The trap will not get entangled in any gear and will sink into the mud, completely covering the trap in under a year.


    Wash the boat in On/Off (Sulfuric acid cleaner) which is normally used on lobsterboats and then spill bait juice (fish blood) all over to cover any other blood.



    Done.
    Remind me not to piss you off lobster man....[:D]
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  • Odawgp
    some time ago i saw they used to make 22/30 cal sabots. at the time there was only one thing i could think to do with them .......???

    this would be the it
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  • gbeggrow
    Deep sea fishing trip...just like the ISC (AKA the Daytona Mafia)does it.[;)]
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  • gruntled
    quote:Originally posted by Odawgp
    some time ago i saw they used to make 22/30 cal sabots. at the time there was only one thing i could think to do with them .......???

    this would be the it


    Would there be rifling marks on the sabot or is it nearly destroyed?
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  • JamesRK
    quote:Originally posted by gruntled
    Would there be rifling marks on the sabot or is it nearly destroyed?

    The sabot is plastic and holds rifling marks as well or better than a bullet.
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  • givette
    quote:Originally posted by Kodiakk
    Why can't you say S A L T W A T E R on this forum?


    Perhaps computer generated editing? Your word included the naughty word T**T (4th thru 7th letters). Best, Joe
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  • Captplaid
    quote:Originally posted by sarge_3ad
    My first wife....eer,I mean, if I were to murder someone, I always thought maybe a guy could get away with it if he would render the victim unconcious, run the body through a grinder/ mixer while making feed, and feed the hogs.


    Dang it Sarge. I thought I was going to be the first to suggest this method. I guess it's not as original as I thought.
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  • jwb267
    you have way to much time on your hands. you need a hobby
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  • David Nunn
    Salt water.
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  • mlincoln
    I'd put on my fireman costume and do a sexy striptease in front of her and make her heart explode from passion. Or mine from finally getting some exercise. Either way somebody's dead.
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  • Donld
    Wha..? How did you know..who told you..oh wait, this is a hypothetical question, isn'tit?
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