Joke
sorry no time take the >> out.
Hello?"
>>"Hi honey. This is Daddy.Is Mommy near the phone?"
>>"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle
>>Paul."
>>After a brief pause,
>>Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle
>>Paul."
>>"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with
>>Mommy, right now."
>>Brief Pause.
>>"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put
>>the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on
>>the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car
>>just pulled into the driveway."
>>"Okay, Daddy, just a minute."
>>A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the
>>phone.
>>"I did it, Daddy."
>>"And what happened, honey?" he asked.
>>"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with
>>no clothes on, then she ran around screaming. Then
>>she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
>>and now she isn't moving at all!"
>>"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
>>"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He
>>was all scared and he jumped out of the back window
>>and into the swimming
>>pool. I guess he didn't know that you took out the
>>water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the
>>pool and I think he's dead."
>>***Long Pause***
>>
>>***Longer Pause***
>>***Even Longer Pause***
>>
>>Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?............Is this 486-5731?"
Hello?"
>>"Hi honey. This is Daddy.Is Mommy near the phone?"
>>"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle
>>Paul."
>>After a brief pause,
>>Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle
>>Paul."
>>"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with
>>Mommy, right now."
>>Brief Pause.
>>"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put
>>the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on
>>the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car
>>just pulled into the driveway."
>>"Okay, Daddy, just a minute."
>>A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the
>>phone.
>>"I did it, Daddy."
>>"And what happened, honey?" he asked.
>>"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with
>>no clothes on, then she ran around screaming. Then
>>she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
>>and now she isn't moving at all!"
>>"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
>>"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He
>>was all scared and he jumped out of the back window
>>and into the swimming
>>pool. I guess he didn't know that you took out the
>>water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the
>>pool and I think he's dead."
>>***Long Pause***
>>
>>***Longer Pause***
>>***Even Longer Pause***
>>
>>Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?............Is this 486-5731?"
1
-
The Mole Family
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all live in a little mole
hole.
One day the papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air
and says,"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says
"Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tries to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air,
but can't because the bigger moles
are in the way so he says, "Geez, all I can smell
is....
MOLASSES!
Well, Hell I thought it was funny.[:D]
0 -
A little humor for friday.
Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk.'''0 -
One winter morning at breakfast a couple was listening to the radio. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." The wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow today, you will need to move your car to the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through." So the wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow today and you must park..." Then the power went off! The wife was very upset. With a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street am I supposed to park on?"
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, her husband said, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."0 -
img]0
-
Subject: FLAT TUMMY
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad
> >bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried
> >about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him.
> >The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"
> >
> >The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes
I
> >have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
> >
> >"You're wasting your time," said the boy.
> >
> >"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled.
> >
> >"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her
> >knees and blows it right back up."
.
Dustin K. Griffin0 -
A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland, at
midnight. During the pilot's preflight check, he discovers that the
latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight. So a message is
sent to the base and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care
of it.
The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the
aircraft only to find that the latrine pump-truck has been left outdoors
and is frozen solid, so he must find another one in the hangar, which takes
even more time. He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic
about what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job
deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as not to risk criticism later.
As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, 'Son, your
attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late and I'm going to
personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded but punished.'
Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath, stands
tall and says, 'Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son; I'm an Airman
in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule, Greenland, for 11
months without any leave, and reindeers' asses are beginning to look pretty
good to me. I have one stripe; its 2:30 in the morning, the temperature is
40 degrees below zero, and my job here is to pump poop out of an aircraft.
Now, just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?'0 -
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?' The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.' The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket.
Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?' 'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time. The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me.. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?' The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?' The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.
[xx(]0 -
A ragged, old, derelict shuffled into a down and dirty bar. Stinking of
whiskey and cigarettes, his hands shook as he took the "Piano Player
Wanted" sign from the window and handed it to the bartender.
"I'd like to apply for the job," he said. "I was an F-4 driver and
a Lieutenant Commander in Naval Air, but when they retired the
Phantom, all the thrill was gone, and soon they cashiered me as well. I
learned to play the piano at O-Club happy hours, so here I am."
The barkeep wasn't too sure about this doubtful looking old guy, but it
had been quite a while since he had a piano player and business
was falling off. So, why not give him a try?
The seedy LtCdr staggered his way over to the piano while
several patrons snickered. By the time he was into his third bar of
music, every voice was silenced. What followed was a rhapsody of
soaring music, unlike anything heard in the bar before. When he finished
there wasn't a dry eye in the place.
The bartender took the old fighter pilot a beer and asked him the
name of the song he had just played.
It's called "Drop your Skivvies, Baby, I'm Going Balls To The Wall
For You!" said the Commander. After a long pull from the beer, leaving
it empty, "I wrote it myself."
The bartender and the crowd winced at the title, but the piano
player just went on into a knee-slapping, hand-clapping bit of ragtime
that had the place jumping. After he finished, the fighter
pilot acknowledged the applause, downed a second proffered mug, and
told the crowd the song was called, "Big Boobs Make My Afterburner Light."
He then excused himself and lurched to the john.
When he came out the bartender went over to him and said, "Look fly boy,
the job is yours, but do you know your fly is open and your pecker is
hanging out?"
"Know it?" the old fighter pilot replied, "Hell, I wrote it!".0 -
Rumor has it that Congressman Anthony Weiner is not really in re-hab, and he is going to announce he is running for president.
He has chosen Attorney General Eric Holder as his running mate.
Get your Weiner-Holder bumper stickers early, before they are all gone.0 -
A pastor decides he'd like to have a bird for a pet so he goes to the pet store and sees a Parrot. The bird is very pretty and well colored so the pastor asks the proprietor about him. The more he hears about the bird the better he likes it, but he has one final question before he will buy it- the pastor tells the proprietor that he is a pastor and has visits at least once a day from parishoners, some of which are women that would be highly offended by off-color language, so how is the bird for language? the proprietor assures the pastor that the bird is very well mannered and doesn't even know andy swear words. So the pastor buys the bird and takes him home to the parsonage.
Later in the day a group of women visit and they are enamoured with the bird. All evening each woman walks over to the bird. picks up a treat, holds it in front of the bird and says in a falsetto voice "Polly want a cracker?". the bird says to himsself- first of all, my name isn't Polly". By the end of the evening the bird is sick and tired of falsetto voiced women, crackers, and being called Polly; but finally all the parishoners leave and the pastor puts a cover on the birds home and the parrot goes to sleep, hoping that the next day will bring parishoners that are more civilized in their treatment of him.
But to his surprise, as the pastor pulls the cover from the birdcage the first words out of his mouth are a squeakie "Polly want a cracker?" this is more than the bird can take and he loses his temper, calling out in a loud voice to the pastor "Oh just blow it out your ear!!"
The pastor is stunned, but recovers quickly and grabs the parrot, marches over to the freezer, pitches the vird in and slams the door. After about ten minutes, he opens the freezer door and takes the shivering bird out. He holds the bird up and asks him if he learned his lesson regarding language like that. The bird responds that he did.
The pastor then asks the parrot if he has any questions. The parrot says he has just one:"WHAT DID THE TURKEY SAY?"0 -
This place is, I will be back when I need something, because there are some smart folks here. The upkeep sux though [:D] 0 -
RECTUM DEODORANT, POSSIBLY THE BEST BLONDE JOKE EVER!
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman
they don't sell rectum deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.
"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "We don't have any!" "But I always buy it here," says the blonde "Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the
pharmacist.
"YES", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it." She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant"
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from
the container.........
"TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM."0 -
Q: What happens when you sing country and western music
backwards?
A: You get your wife, job and dog back. [;)][:o)]
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.0 -
Dear Friends,
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry La Prise, the man who the "The Hokey Pokey," died peacefully at age 93.
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.
They put his left leg in.
Then the trouble started. . .
"If you ain't got pictures, I wasn't there."0 -
Famous rorn star Ron Jeremy was called to serve on a panel to decide the quilt or innocence of a defendant in a trial. It was a hung jury... 0 -
The office manager was putting up Christmas decorations and as she finished she walked back to her office. Two of the guys were looking at her snickering. When she said, What?" One told her she had glitter on her face and boobs.
She said what does it mean to have glitter on her.
One of the guys said glitter on the boobs means she went to a tittie bar.
She then asked what about the glitter on her face?
The other guy laughed and made the motor boat sound, then both guys almost fell out of their chairs with laughter.
We will miss them.0 -
An old man comes into the ER after having fallen off of his roof. The ER doc asks him how he fell off of it? He states, well back when I was young, I was working on the roof of this young neighbor lady... No says the Doc, I mean how did you fall off the roof today?, Well I was getting to that part. I was working on the roof of this young neighbor lady and she comes out and asks if I'd like to come in and cool off? I told her , No, I've got to get your roof done, She says, it's awful hot out here. Wouldn't you like to come in and cool off with a nice cool glass of lemonade? The doc chimes in, Now what does this have to do with today? Now I'm getting to that.... I told her again, I've got to get the work done and continued on with the roof. She comes out once more and says, You know it's awful hot out here, it'd be a lot cooler in my house, with some Ice Cold Lemonade and who knows what else might happen. Well I said again, I've got to get the work down and get home before dark. Well, I was up on my roof working and the memory of it comes back to me, I giggled and then it struck me what she was getting at. And that's how I come to fall off the roof!!! 0 -
quote:
A woman was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell. The group waiting on the tee playing behind her was from Washington, DC and included Barack Obama.
Barack quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet. She thanked him and started to leave when he said,"I'm Barack Obama and I hope you'll vote Democratic in the next election".
She laughed and quickly said, "I fell on my ass, not my head !"0 -
One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh please,excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I"m blind & can't see."
"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"
"Well, I really don't know," replied the bunny. "I'm blind and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and said, "Well, you're soft and cuddly, and you have long silky ears and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!"
The bunny replied, "I can't thank you enough! But by the way, what kind of animal are you?" The snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny
agreed to examine him.
When the bunny was finished, the snake asked, "Well, what kind of an animal
am I?"
The bunny had felt the snake all over, and replied, "You're soft, you're cold, you're slippery and you haven't got any balls. You must be a Democrat."0 -
Three little boys were sittin' on the swingset one day, discussing technology.
The question came up regarding which of man's inventions were the most amazing.
The first one said "It'd have to be the airplane. You could get on an airplane and fly halfway around the world in the same day."
"Nah," said another, "It's got to be the telephone. You can talk to someone on the other side of the world."
The third little fella said "The most amazing invention has to be the Thermos jug."
"The Thermos jug?" exclaimed his buddy "what's so amazing about a Thermos jug?"
"Well" says the little boy "you can put hot stuff in it and keep it hot. And you can put cold stuff in it and it will keep it cold"
"What's so amazing about that?" replied his friends.
The third litte boy asked:
"How do it know?"
[:D]0 -
His name was Bubba, he was from Alabama ... And he needed a loan, So... He walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan Officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an International Redneck festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000, and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a brand new Ferrari.
The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer
agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the South for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07.
The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a Distinguished Alumni from University Alabama, a highly sophisticated investor and Multi-Millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around Sweetwater, Texas. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"
His name was BUBBA.... Keep an eye on those southern boys!
Just because we talk funny does not mean we are stupid.0 -
A city fellow went to a dude ranch out west. He was asking one of the resident cowboys about his attire. "Why do you guys wear those big hats?" "Well" replied the cowboy, "the big hat is to keep the sun off our face and neck during a long day in the saddle."
"Why does your shirt have snaps instead of buttons?" The cowboy replied "If we get up in the brush, and the limbs catch our clothes, the snaps will come unsnapped, whereas if we had buttons, the brush would tear the buttons off."
"I undertand, but why are all you guys wearing tennis shoes instead of cowboy boots?" asked the dude. "Oh," replied the cowboy, "that's so no one will mistake us for a truck driver."0 -
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping thru the forest road
when she sees the big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.
" My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."
The wolf jumps up and runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the
wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush.
"My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.
About 1/4 mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees
the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."
With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off,
"I'm trying to poop!"0 -
Jesse Jackson is visiting a primary school and he visits one of the
Classes.
They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their
meanings.
The teacher asks the Rev. Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion
of the word "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an
example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a
farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks
him dead, that would be a tragedy." "No," says the Great Jesse Jackson,"
that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove
over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we
would call a great loss." The room goes silent. No other children
volunteer. Rev. Jackson searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can
give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet
voice he says: "If a jet carrying the Rev.& Mrs. Jackson were struck by a
missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic!"
exclaims Jackson, That's right. And can you tell me why that would be
tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it
probably wouldn't be an accident either."
Guncontrol-The ability to hit what your aiming at.0 -
Collections
One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.
"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.
"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church."
The pastor replied, "That's wonderful. But $1000 is a lot, are you sure you can afford this? How much does he send you?"
The elderly woman answered, "$10,000 a week."
The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful. What does he do for a living?"
''He is a veterinarian," she answered.
"That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money." the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"
The woman answered proudly, "In Nevada . He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas , and one in Reno ."0 -
A little boy was riding his BMX bike one day in the drive way when the little girl next door asked if she could ride his BMX bike. The little boy said,"You see this, this bike is for boys only. Only boys can have these."
Well, she went home and told her mommy what he said. The next day he was riding his bike again and the little girl came over on a brand new bike just like his, but with a basket on the front.
Well this made the little boy upset so he threw his bike to the ground and pouted up to the house.
He came out a little later with a football. He was tossing it in the air and playing in the yard. The little girl saw him and asked if she could play too. He said,"You see this, this football is for boys only. Only boys can have with these."
Well like before she ran home and told her mommy what the little boy had said. The very next day the little girl rode her bike over and she had a new football in the front basket of her bike. She gave a smerk to the little boy and tossed her ball in the air giggling.
The little boy so frustrated, pulled his pants down and pointed to his tally wacker(I guessing this word won't be edited[;)]) and said,"You see this, only boys have these."
Satisfied he had shown the little girl next door who's boss he pulled his pants up and went inside as she stood there in shock.
Later that day he was outside on the lawn and the little girl came right over and approached him. She walked up to him with a big grin on her face.
She pulled her dress up and her panties down and pointed to her private parts and said, " You see this, only girls have these. And my mommy said as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!"[:0]0 -
I had not heard this one before. I liked it and thought I would share it.
A redneck was stopped by a game warden in South Carolina recently with two ice chests full of fish.
He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'
'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish.'
'Pet fish?'
'Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home.'
'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'
The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then Said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'
'O. K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'
The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'
'Well, what?', says the redneck.
The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'
'Call who back?'
'The FISH', replied the warden!
'What fish?', replied the redneck.
Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.
You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.0 -
This would be a lot funnier if there were no chance of it being true!!!
A guy stopped at a local gas station, and after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and watched a couple of men working along the roadside.
One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind him and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was 25 feet behind filling in the hole.
The men worked right past the guy with the soft drink and went on down the road. "I can't stand this," said the man as he tossed the can into a trash container before heading down the road toward the men.
"Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with all this digging and refilling?"
"Well, we work for the government and we're just doing our job," one of the men said.
"But one of you is digging a hole and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the taxpayers' money?"
"You don't understand, mister," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there's three of us: me, Elmer and Leroy. I dig the hole, Elmer sticks in the tree, and Leroy here puts the dirt back.
Elmer's job's been cut ... so now it's just me an' Leroy.0 -
10 things only women understand. http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/80443432/ 0 -
A guy traveling through Mexico on vacation lost his
wallet and all of his identification. Cutting his trip
short, he attempted to make his way home but was stopped by
the U.S. Customs Agent at the border.
"May I see your identification, please?" asked the agent.
"I'm sorry, but I lost my wallet," replied the guy..
"Sure buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no entry," said the agent.
"But I can prove I'm an American!" he exclaimed. "I have a picture of
Ronald Reagan tattooed on one side of my butt and George Bush on the other."
"This I gotta see," replied the agent.
With that, the guy dropped his pants and showed the agent his behind.
"By golly, you're right!" exclaimed the agent. "Have a safe trip back to
Chicago ."
"Thanks!" he said. "But how did you know I was from Chicago ?"
The agent replied, "I recognized Obama in the middle."0
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