Headed for the big D
after 8 months of marriage, several trips to her familys homes, the wife packed up thursday mornin and left while i was at work. The reason given was she needed her family, guess it shows that wit some the older they get dosent mean they grow up. 51 and needs her mommy and daddy. UPDATE. Came home from a business trip today and low and behold paper from her lawyer are here, talked to me last week and acted like things could be worked out.
0
-
[:0] Wow! 0 -
I feel for you man. I've been married for 10 months and my wife can't leave her mother. I'm heading down the same road. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by k.stanonik
....The reason given was she needed her family... 51 and needs her mommy and daddy
No. Something else is up...
Sorry to hear though, and good luck.0 -
I agree with mateomasfeo...there is more to it than "needing her family".....There would have been a lot of signs of "needing her family" long before the wedding....
Now can we hear her side?...0 -
I can understand what you are going through. Mine will be final pretty soon.
The only difference is I was happy to get mine.0 -
Sorry to hear that. Sometimes, these things just don't work out. 0 -
BR, i wish you could hear her side, This is the second time she did this, first one was just a month after we got married. She made 7 trips to her parents house and 3 to her sisters in michigan all durring the last 7 months. She would not socialize with my family and when ever i did something i was told i was wrong because her dad didnt do it. I asked her to get a job to help with the family finanaces and she acted like i asked her to spank her grandkids. The one time she did say she would look she stated that she could only work days and no weekends. she doesnt understand computers and doesnt want to learn, and the reason she couldnt work weekends she sad was because she would never get to see her family 0 -
quote:Originally posted by k.stanonik
BR, i wish you could hear her side, This is the second time she did this, first one was just a month after we got married. She made 7 trips to her parents house and 3 to her sisters in michigan all durring the last 7 months. She would not socialize with my family and when ever i did something i was told i was wrong because her dad didnt do it. I asked her to get a job to help with the family finanaces and she acted like i asked her to spank her grandkids. The one time she did say she would look she stated that she could only work days and no weekends. she doesnt understand computers and doesnt want to learn, and the reason she couldnt work weekends she sad was because she would never get to see her family
No offense meant here, but she sounds spoiled as hell. Didn't this attitude show up while you were dating?0 -
Yes it did but she said she still wanted to get married, i even asked her the day of and she said yes.she has a sister 15 minutes or less from her mom and dad but always has a excuse to not help out except 1 day a week. My wife lived with her parents for 30 yrs befor we met and got married. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by k.stanonik
Yes it did but she said she still wanted to get married, i even asked her the day of and she said yes.she has a sister 15 minutes or less from her mom and dad but always has a excuse to not help out except 1 day a week. My wife lived with her parents for 30 yrs befor we met and got married.
I'm close with my family, too. I understand the desire to see them. But, at some point, mature adults learn that part of being a mature adult is to cut the strings (usually this is the day you say, "I do.").
I realize you probably don't even want to discuss this, but I'm assuming at some point, you'll probably want to marry again (and it would be completely understandable if at this point, you said, "Hello no!" but time and women can change this initial reaction). That being the case, it is important to talk about finances (including getting a job), family, kids, housework, etc. before you even consider asking her to marry you. Sometimes, after you propose, they're willing to do/say anything in order to have you not back out, or because they think they can change you after you say, "I do."
Unless you can afford to spoil a princess, someone that acts like one is almost always a lousy choice in a wife (and, for that matter, even if you can afford to spoil a princess, they still turn out to be a lousy wife).
Again, my heart goes out to you. If it is any consolation, a lot of marriages that fail do so in the first year -- so don't think that your situation is completely unusual.0 -
Thank you Span, This was my second rodeo ( 3rd if ya count her runnin off the first time) finances were discussed well befor. she even said she wanted to get a job, but after the ring went on so did the desire to work 0 -
If she's not happy, let her go. Life's too short to put up with a bunch of oatmeal. Find you another one, a keeper. I'm sure there's more involved, than what she's telling you. It's the way women work. 0 -
0 -
Oh I'm through the bid D and don't mean Dallas.
I can't believe what the Judge had to tell us:
I got the jeep,
She got the palace!
Oh, I'm through the big D and dont' mean Dallas.0 -
Wow man, that really sucks.
I agree with Matt, something else is going on. I hate to say it, but that's my opinion.
Hope everything works through ok for you.0 -
I'm really sorry to hear that... 0 -
I will take a different tact and suggest you simply back off and listen. Give her her space, go on with your life and see what happens.
I think she will find that things have changed when she goes back home. If not then, yes, you are better off without her and must carry on with your life.
Sounds to me like she is very insecure and needs to reconnect with her parents for a while and after that she may call you and want to come back.0 -
Sorry, I just cant relate. Maybe you both didnt take your vows seriously. Seems like things like "love, honor and obey" dont fit anymore in this day and age. Celibrating our 57 th aniversery in 3 weeks. Got married late due to being in WW 2. 0 -
The parallels are frightening. Sounds exactly like my ordeal. 0 -
Oh i took mine serious, she ran out back in october and i took her back, i am not sayin i dont still love her but i can not be a revolving door, she talked about wanting to go to counciling and packs up and splits thursday. 0 -
quote:My wife lived with her parents for 30 yrs befor we met and got married.
Sorry, but I don't know why that did not set the alarm bells ringing the minute you heard that.0 -
quote:Originally posted by He Dog
quote:My wife lived with her parents for 30 yrs befor we met and got married.
Sorry, but I don't know why that did not set the alarm bells ringing the minute you heard that.
Now HEDOG, give the poor cus a break! One cannot account for affairs of the heart...0 -
quote:Sorry, but I don't know why that did not set the alarm bells ringing the minute you heard that.
I'm a'thinkin there's a line in the "Borat" movie that 'splains it...0 -
The reason it didnt set off any bells was because i know she had a low to no pay job, and figured she would better herslf up here, i accepted her living conditions for what they were. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by k.stanonik
Oh i took mine serious, she ran out back in october and i took her back, i am not sayin i dont still love her but i can not be a revolving door, she talked about wanting to go to counciling and packs up and splits thursday.
Sounds like your better off without her.0 -
I am glad I never had to go through anything like that or I might be insane now. Don 0 -
quote:Originally posted by dcon12
I am glad I never had to go through anything like that or I might be insane now. Don0 -
People give up to easily on marriage...Divorce is too easy to get...Easier to say the hell with it, get another one, than to try and work out the one you are in....
Damn shame really...0 -
well BR, i really want to her a ladys take on this, do i try it again when it is apparent she has packed it in or just do like i am. i am not being sarcastic here i would really like to hear your thoughts 0 -
There's only so much you can do when your partner is unwilling to make sacrifices to get things to work. In other words, it takes two. And you don't have two when one half of the partnership always runs back to momma and dadda, or doesn't leave home in the first place. 0
Please sign in to leave a comment.
Comments
51 comments