Headed for the big D
after 8 months of marriage, several trips to her familys homes, the wife packed up thursday mornin and left while i was at work. The reason given was she needed her family, guess it shows that wit some the older they get dosent mean they grow up. 51 and needs her mommy and daddy. UPDATE. Came home from a business trip today and low and behold paper from her lawyer are here, talked to me last week and acted like things could be worked out.
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She been thou menopause yet? Had to ask, seen some women handle the change well, and others turn into total fruit cakes. My second wife now is in that direction But now I know what to expect
It may get bumpy and weird but at least now I will know why and can understand it.0 -
Often times, we ignore the signs, I ignored the signs once, tried to make it work, tried it for four years. I should have known better, but like I said, we ignore the signs. Someone like that, theres no need in trying. 0 -
yes she is going through menopause, suggested to go to the dr and look into treatments to help and that she liked, nothin doin, so i tried to be supportive, sleep with a fan on all night, keep my distance so has not to transfer body heat, get cold compresses to help. i was informed wednesday night that her sister told her when i moved her back the last time that she should not take all her stuff with her in case it didnt work out. 0 -
quote:suggested to go to the dr and look into treatments to help and that she liked, nothin doin, so i tried to be supportive, sleep with a fan on all night, keep my distance so has not to transfer body heat, get cold compresses to help.
Dang son,...Y'all seem like a....sissy...0 -
My first one lasted a whole 5 glorious, and loving months. It took me that long to realize I had married the devils sister. She wanted me to be a live in babysitter for her kids, and pay for her shopping spree's. Five months in, I was already about $5,000.00 in debt from shopping, and 3 months behind on bills. Cost me everything I had to get that all straight and paid for. I'm on the second (and last) one now, and everything is good. There is hope. Good luck. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by k.stanonik
yes she is going through menopause, suggested to go to the dr and look into treatments to help and that she liked, nothin doin, so i tried to be supportive, sleep with a fan on all night, keep my distance so has not to transfer body heat, get cold compresses to help. i was informed wednesday night that her sister told her when i moved her back the last time that she should not take all her stuff with her in case it didnt work out.
That sounds like there was a lot more going on in her head than menopause. If she talked about counciling and things not working out then it appears there is something about the relationship she was not happy with.
Did she ever share with you the reason she wanted to go into counciling??0 -
quote:well BR, i really want to her a ladys take on this, do i try it again when it is apparent she has packed it in or just do like i am. i am not being sarcastic here i would really like to hear your thoughts
I cannot give an honest answer to your question as I dont know enough about the whole situation and no I dont think it should be aired on a forum...
I am not saying I doubt what you are saying but 2 ppl view the same situation in 2 very different ways...In other words, you see it one way, she sees it another....YOu say she needs/wants her family more than the marriage and she may see it as you NOT needing/wanting/loving her....
I would suggest counciling of some sort, talking with a therapist and yes there are free ones thru lots of programs...Find out if she is wanting to give up on the marriage, are you wanting to give it up or is it worth fighting for?..
Ask yourselves the questions below...yes her too
We all go thru problems in marriage, but the question is, do you love each other enough to work thru them, maybe with help of some sort? Do you want to grow old with her/him? have her/him beside you? love her/him enough to work thru the problems?
Is the marriage worth fighting for?...Do you want him/her with you for the rest of your life?..0 -
quote:Originally posted by k.stanonik
yes she is going through menopause, suggested to go to the dr and look into treatments to help and that she liked, nothin doin, so i tried to be supportive, sleep with a fan on all night, keep my distance so has not to transfer body heat, get cold compresses to help. i was informed wednesday night that her sister told her when i moved her back the last time that she should not take all her stuff with her in case it didnt work out.
Ah Bingo! The only advice I can give, It will only get weirder by the moment if hormone replacement isn't done (gotta do the blood tests first to see whats outa wack) and that sounds like a no go.
Best of luck to you, that is not an easy road to go down.0 -
quote:Ah Bingo! The only advice I can give, It will only get weirder by the moment if hormone replacement isn't done (gotta do the blood tests first to see whats outa wack) and that sounds like a no go.
BULL!!!!!!!!!....
HRT is one way to cause cancer, stroke, heart attack...there are other ways to get thru it....
Strange how when things get a bit "awkward" the first questions a male ask are "PMS? Menopause?".....instead of asking yourself "am I at fault for making her crazy?"[}:)][}:)]0 -
quote:a male ask are "PMS? Menopause?"...
Not me l'il darlin...[:X]0 -
As stated in one of my replys above, the menopause treatment was to be what she was comfortable with, as BR said i studied up on the side effects of HRT, does it make me a sissy, so be it i see it has being a proactive and caring husband. as to goin through counciling, her first statement whe nthe subject was brought up was that i would not agree, just the opposite, i have been throug hcounciling befor, ther eis no shame in it. but to bring up the subject and then run shows me that it was just words. Br as to the questions you brought up, on my side of the fence yes to all questions, if i didnt want her in my life then i could have easily walked away back in october. as to my choice of discussing this in a public forum, i consider most of you as family, as for the others i learned along time ago to let the silly response that get posted for levety to roll off my back 0 -
quote:Originally posted by BlackRoses
quote:Ah Bingo! The only advice I can give, It will only get weirder by the moment if hormone replacement isn't done (gotta do the blood tests first to see whats outa wack) and that sounds like a no go.
BULL!!!!!!!!!....
HRT is one way to cause cancer, stroke, heart attack...there are other ways to get thru it....
Strange how when things get a bit "awkward" the first questions a male ask are "PMS? Menopause?".....instead of asking yourself "am I at fault for making her crazy?"[}:)][}:)]
BR You know as well as I do, there are less evasive medical alternatives to treat PMP. I am an understanding kinda guy when when it comes to this stuff. Don't kid yourself it happens to guys too. Thats why we got the little blue pill.[:D]0 -
k.stanonik
You said the answers to the questions were yes to all...well ask her the questions, and be honest with each other...IF you both answer yes to all then get the counciling to get the marriage on track and work it out...Dont give up so easily and tell her not to either....I have a feeling there is a bit more of a push coming from one of her family members...TIme she stood on her own and if she wants the marriage then fight for it...
The first step is to talk to each other HONESTLY and OPENLY....0 -
quote:Originally posted by BlackRoses
The first step is to talk to each other HONESTLY and OPENLY....
+1[:)]0 -
quote:Originally posted by BlackRoses
People give up to easily on marriage...Divorce is too easy to get...Easier to say the hell with it, get another one, than to try and work out the one you are in....
Damn shame really...
You're absolutely right. Sandy and I would have never made year 5 using todays standards.
Back when Larry had his surgery and was in the hospital, I recall you saying he got pretty cranky and hurt your feelings. Todays women would have filed for divorce and hit the door.
Marriage isn't for wimps, and I see a lot of wimps these days.0 -
as stands right now, one of her sisters has contacted a attorney for her, she was instructed no contact, i just called her and told her that i need to know that if she really wants this i need to be told, i had a councilors number in my pcket thursday when i left for work and i am willing to go but we both have to agree to go and i make a appointment or tell me that you want out and i move forward with legal council. 0 -
Danny...
He was in an extreme amount of pain and we were only married 2 and 1/2 months...After being together for a while now but still not long enough, I can in all honesty say, that if he said the same thing now, I would kick his butt *LOL
Seriously, yes a fair amount of women would have walked out the door as would a fair amount of men if the tables were turned...but I wuv's him...[:p][:p] and I aint walking ...
k.stanonik..
quote:one of her sisters has contacted a attorney for her,
I thought she was being pushed by a family member....dont let them do this...she needs to talk to you alone, honestly, without any outside influence..0 -
I ended the phone call with this is you and me talkin, not familys, lol, that will be like telling a dog not to touch a T bone steak. BR now ya can understand a lil better what i am dealing with, her sisters tell what to do, if she needed help on something like studying for a test she would call her family and when i offer to help i am told no 0 -
quote:Originally posted by k.stanonik
after 8 months of marriage, several trips to her familys homes, the wife packed up thursday mornin and left while i was at work. The reason given was she needed her family, guess it shows that wit some the older they get dosent mean they grow up. 51 and needs her mommy and daddy
I missed that part. 51 and going back to mom and dads? WTH? Are they in their 80s? Sounds boring to me. What's she plan on doing there?0 -
they are in thier upper 70's, have health issues but nothing out of the ordinary, they got accustome to her doin everything for them and they have another daughter close by so instead of call the other daughter, the ycall my wife and get her all worked up 0 -
Get used to it boys! I have been in the saddle for 38 yrs and i never know what's next. Womens emotions are hard to understand sometimes. 0
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