Ungreatful kids.....is there a TRUE cure?
My oldest seems to be my very own albetros these days. If I am not dealing with major issues its just plain misery. Lately I have let it get to me more and more that she is so ungreatful and uncarring when it concerns me. I know she is the same to others (besides her friends) but I seem to get the worst of it.
She does things like BARELY completes the simple tasks I ask while asking to go and do all sorts of things. She is miserable to be around....and I have just about decided she is doing this on PURPOSE so we will let her go away from us to be shut in her room or away at friends. She won't help me with anything that would show that she thinks of me as a real person. For example....I wanted her to help me do something with my hair tonite and you would have thought I had asked her to gut fish with her lips!!!
I feel like I am always complaining about her. She is just starting these "harder years." I just don't think I can take three years or more of this mess.
She does things like BARELY completes the simple tasks I ask while asking to go and do all sorts of things. She is miserable to be around....and I have just about decided she is doing this on PURPOSE so we will let her go away from us to be shut in her room or away at friends. She won't help me with anything that would show that she thinks of me as a real person. For example....I wanted her to help me do something with my hair tonite and you would have thought I had asked her to gut fish with her lips!!!
I feel like I am always complaining about her. She is just starting these "harder years." I just don't think I can take three years or more of this mess.
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We use lock-down in our house in dealing with a 16 year old boy.
He has to perform his responsibilities to the tee to get out of it.
Having to ask permission to pee is a great motivational tool.
DSM0 -
I have a daughter that is 15 going on 25.She had the same problem
that you described .My solution was and always has been (I tell you one time ),she chose not to do it.The gates of HELL opened up on her.After about a week of pissing her pants when (The kids call it the Marine voice)yelling at her.She finally under stands that I mean what I say.And she knows that your never to old to get a smack on the ASS
Scott0 -
quote:Originally posted by Doug Wilson
Punch her in the back of the head, everytime she needsa it.
Give her NOTHING.
Doug
+1 I keep thinking that your daughter and Danny's son both need a good spanking!0 -
The only true cure is going to be time.
If you really can't take 3 more years of it you could marry her off. [;)]0 -
quote:You have got to take back control
How do you call "negotiating" taking back control? See how well that philosophy works with grown-ups(NRA), works even less with unreasonable kids.
Her Dad not being involved in the discipline is a huge obstacle. If you can't bring him to bear with you, against this behaviour, God help you cause nothing else will. I get the feeling you are not telling everything where this is concerned.
You go on to say that dpression is an issue. Get dad involved!! A child that feels insignificanrt ususally feels that way due to a parent or parents no BEING INVOLVED. That means total involvement, discipline, love, being there at activities, the whole nine yards, but the most important of these is discipline. A child that doesn't have consistent boundaries set and enforced, does not feel protected. "Why am I not protected, I must not be worth protecting". Get dad involved, ease him into the process though, or she won't buy it. In a few months time he'd better be the enforcer, with you backing him, or your in trouble. Remember, if you don't already practice this, always follow discipline with love and an awareness by the offender of just whose fault the punishment was. They know you love them then. Boundaries, and example. If you say it, but don't do it, forget it. Just my .02 good luck.
PS, mobility is an enabling tool. If she's not headed in the right direction when she gains that mobility, it just means she can head in the wrong direction faster. Hope you get her back on track.0 -
Brilliant idea:
Line her up with Danny's kid.
What a deserving couple that would be, and they'd spend so much time at each other's throats That Heff and LF would get a break.
These two children are not worthy of the Parents they have.
Doug0 -
just give her a good whipping. 0 -
Explain to her what the definition of an "emancipated minor" is![:0] 0 -
make her volunteer at the women's shelter. 0 -
Beat her.
Everyone's a tough guy until they get punched in the face for saying something they shouldn't.
That may not be chapter one of Dr. Phil's latest book, but it has served me well through the years with difficult adults. I suspect it would work on difficult children as well.0 -
Dont give her the BMW!!! 0 -
Cell phone = GONE
Car = GONE
Computer = GONE
Drivers liscense = GONE
Visiting privleges = GONE
TV privleges = GONE
Transportation privleges = GONE
Favorate meals = GONE
New clothes = GONE
Fresh air and sunshine privleges = RESTRICTED
Tell her "Welcome to the real world sweety, where you either earn your way or starve to death" and stick with it.
Her house cleaning, laundry and yardwork chores should take her about 40 hours a week, and that's just for the privlege of living under your roof, she dosn't "earn" special or extra things until she's worked enough OT to justify them. Say 4 hours OT to get $20 and a ride to the store.
Remember, it's your house & your rules. If she dosn't like it she can take a pillowcase of clothes and hit the street with no returns allowed. BTW, if she does decide to hit the road, report her as a runaway & incorragable.0 -
sounds normal to me, the key is all how you handle it, my poor brother had 3 girls, this quote kinda puts it in perspective
quote:Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their
food, and tyrannize their teachers
Socrates0 -
I am a pretty new parent, but have seen my friends go through the fire!
I have rules and, however trite, stick to them. I am absolute in my decisions.
My wife struggles to maintain order, while I have a much better time when I am with the children.
Kids appreciate disclipine.0
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