I don't understand how young people think!
When Josh and Sandy were on their trip to New York for New Years, Josh got a ticket. I didn't find out about it until last night.
I asked him how much it was, and he said he didn't know and wasn't going to pay it. Seems his buddy Steve told him to just forget it becuase they weren't going to extridite him back to New York over a traffic ticket.
I told him to find out how much it was before it went to a warrent situation and at least doubled, and I would pay it.
What's wrong with young people these days!
I asked him how much it was, and he said he didn't know and wasn't going to pay it. Seems his buddy Steve told him to just forget it becuase they weren't going to extridite him back to New York over a traffic ticket.
I told him to find out how much it was before it went to a warrent situation and at least doubled, and I would pay it.
What's wrong with young people these days!
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quote:Originally posted by dheffley
quote:Originally posted by ECC
You are going to have to start practicing some tough love if you want to teach the kid something. No offense intended.[:)]
He had me on a technical point as I didn't say "only" parking tickets. Tough love will be part of new agreements, but I won't go back on my work over a $27 tollway ticket. You know me well enough to know that I have not posted what I said to him before paying the icket. We have heard from him since the throwdown, and most likely won't for another month or so.
I wouldn't take the word of anyone who approved me going back on mine, even in this incident. No one takes their word serious these days.
Danny,.....I understand you have a wife that needs help, and watching, but how many "throwdowns" where he leaves pizzed, before the big "throwout"?
All I am saying is I see a constant stream of issues with this "kid", and somehow you seem to fall right back into his trap.
Maybe it is because of your wife,......I really don't know, but you always seem to find some obtuse wording to blame yourself, rather than him.
"He is a good boy,.....it is the ones he hangs out with that are making him this way."
Nope,......YOU are the biggest person in his life that is "hurting" him.
I have total empathy once again for your situation, but when are YOU gonna learn?
It really is none of my business,....best wishes![;)]0 -
quote:Originally posted by dheffley
quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
Heff, just wondering why you feel the need to engage me in some kind of THREAT, others here have responded in similar ways ...yet you seem to take offense only with me. I know sometimes the truth hurts but acting like a school yard bully really solves nothing on your end. ....If you don't like the responses to YOUR question....then maybe you should'nt ask them anymore.
No threat 44. A threat would be "I'm gonna' come find you and let you bust my chops in person". I invited you to come see me for more statisfaction of busting my chops in person. You are one of the few guys here who try to twist in an insult on someone and bust their chops. A common internet thing. If my invite to my home seems to be a threat to you, you must perceive what you're doing as some sort of action that requires retaliation. I think you proved my point with your reply. Dish it out, but not take it. Interesting.
You need to understand one thing. I made an agreement with my son, who I trusted the car of my wife to, and he anticipated a problem with tickets for parking. I agreed to pay them, but made the mistake of saying "I'll pay tickets as long as they are for speeding." That was a commitment.
He never asked me to pay the ticket for the tollway, in fact, until Sandy told me, I didn't know there was one. When I asked him, he told me he wasn't going to pay it because his buddy Steve told him they'll never come after him in Texas for it.
I told him he had to pay the ticket, and he said that I was supposed to pay all tickets other than speeding tickets, and at that point, he had me. I had made that agreement.
Now, I can either teach him a lesson and not follow through with my word, or I can do like I did and tell him that I will pay the ticket because he has me on a technicallity and my word is important to me even though I think I'm getting taken advantage of.
I feel it's better to teach the lesson that a man is only as good as his word to someone who has problems like his. I could only do one or the other, and this was the most important lesson in my eyes.
You don't see the other side of the coin, because all you want to do is find some way to belittle me and bust my chops. I'm fine with that. I hope it makes you feel like a real man. Someday, you will be faced with a simular choice, and you'll have to decide one way or the other. It's not as easy as the simple ideas you or others have offered up. Either I break my word, or he suffers a lesson. I won't break a promise to teach a lesson. Most here would, and that saddens me.
Hmmmmm, Well now that i have the whole story i have to say it would be a tough choice for me also.
My word means a lot to me and i am not about to break it..... With that said i would pay the fine this time and from now on i would be VERY clear about what i would or wouldn't pay for.0 -
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
Hmmmmm, Well now that i have the whole story i have to say it would be a tough choice for me also.
My word means a lot to me and i am not about to break it..... With that said i would pay the fine this time and from now on i would be VERY clear about what i would or wouldn't pay for.
Steven,
I haven't posted the words exchanged between he and I. It was ugly, and he's disappeared from sight for probably the next few weeks.
Tickets paid and I stayed true to my word. He won't get my word on anything again, nor any help shy of a medical emergency.
The sad thing is he will punish his mother by not calling to get even with me. I have already prepared her for it.0 -
quote:Originally posted by dheffley
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
Hmmmmm, Well now that i have the whole story i have to say it would be a tough choice for me also.
My word means a lot to me and i am not about to break it..... With that said i would pay the fine this time and from now on i would be VERY clear about what i would or wouldn't pay for.
Steven,
I haven't posted the words exchanged between he and I. It was ugly, and he's disappeared from sight for probably the next few weeks.
Tickets paid and I stayed true to my word. He won't get my word on anything again, nor any help shy of a medical emergency.
The sad thing is he will punish his mother by not calling to get even with me. I have already prepared her for it.
[V]0 -
quote:Originally posted by Marc1301
quote:Originally posted by dheffley
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
Hmmmmm, Well now that i have the whole story i have to say it would be a tough choice for me also.
My word means a lot to me and i am not about to break it..... With that said i would pay the fine this time and from now on i would be VERY clear about what i would or wouldn't pay for.
Steven,
I haven't posted the words exchanged between he and I. It was ugly, and he's disappeared from sight for probably the next few weeks.
Tickets paid and I stayed true to my word. He won't get my word on anything again, nor any help shy of a medical emergency.
The sad thing is he will punish his mother by not calling to get even with me. I have already prepared her for it.
[V]
+1
I understand what you are saying about your word...0 -
quote:Originally posted by Marc1301
Danny,.....I understand you have a wife that needs help, and watching, but how many "throwdowns" where he leaves pizzed, before the big "throwout"?
All I am saying is I see a constant stream of issues with this "kid", and somehow you seem to fall right back into his trap.
Maybe it is because of your wife,......I really don't know, but you always seem to find some obtuse wording to blame yourself, rather than him.
"He is a good boy,.....it is the ones he hangs out with that are making him this way."
Nope,......YOU are the biggest person in his life that is "hurting" him.
I have total empathy once again for your situation, but when are YOU gonna learn?
It really is none of my business,....best wishes![;)]
Marc,
He's his mothers only living child. Sandy and my other son died when he was four, and Jason is my son by my forst wife. She needs him and wants him in her life, and we are both damaged by the loss of our youngest son at the age of four. Not using that as an excuse, but I know it affects my decisions.
When he left, he said he was never coming back to this house as long as I was alive. I'm sure that's only until I'm at work and he needs some of mom's cash.0 -
quote:When he left, he said he was never coming back to this house as long as I was alive. I'm sure that's only until I'm at work and he needs some of mom's cash.
Frikkin pathetic!0 -
quote:Originally posted by dheffley
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
Hmmmmm, Well now that i have the whole story i have to say it would be a tough choice for me also.
My word means a lot to me and i am not about to break it..... With that said i would pay the fine this time and from now on i would be VERY clear about what i would or wouldn't pay for.
Steven,
I haven't posted the words exchanged between he and I. It was ugly, and he's disappeared from sight for probably the next few weeks.
Tickets paid and I stayed true to my word. He won't get my word on anything again, nor any help shy of a medical emergency.
The sad thing is he will punish his mother by not calling to get even with me. I have already prepared her for it.
Sounds like he needs to spend some quality time as a farm hand. I did that during my teen years.
You spend all day feeding hogs, Cleaning Horse stalls, Digging fence posts(by hand!), Branding Cows(i always hated the smell[xx(]), And breaking Horses.... By the end of the Day you feel perty darn good to be able to come back to a warm house with loving parents in it and fresh food[^]
I always tried to stay on my dads good side because i knew the first time i crossed that line i would lose all benifits, Including a warm house to come back to[V]
He taught me early in life that if i ever did anything wrong that there would be definet consequences that he WOULD follow through on.
I'm not saying that we never fought. Heck, we fought a lot back then. Its just that he was always clear that as long as i lived under HIS roof, I followed HIS rules.
Dang... He's gotten a lot smarter over the last couple of years[:0][:D]
Stand your ground Heff and make sure the wife is clear on YOUR decision. If she gives him money behind your back, Your stand will be for nothing.
Once he runs out of funds and with no one lending him money, He'll be back.
I've had many friends have fights like this with thier fathers and only one friend that never went back, But it was over a MUCH more serious issue than a unpaid ticket.0 -
Let me know if I can be of ANY assistance to y'all.
Doug0 -
quote:Originally posted by Doug Wilson
Let me know if I can be of ANY assistance to y'all.
Doug
Thanks Doug, but I don't expect to see him for at least two months.0
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