I don't understand how young people think!
When Josh and Sandy were on their trip to New York for New Years, Josh got a ticket. I didn't find out about it until last night.
I asked him how much it was, and he said he didn't know and wasn't going to pay it. Seems his buddy Steve told him to just forget it becuase they weren't going to extridite him back to New York over a traffic ticket.
I told him to find out how much it was before it went to a warrent situation and at least doubled, and I would pay it.
What's wrong with young people these days!
I asked him how much it was, and he said he didn't know and wasn't going to pay it. Seems his buddy Steve told him to just forget it becuase they weren't going to extridite him back to New York over a traffic ticket.
I told him to find out how much it was before it went to a warrent situation and at least doubled, and I would pay it.
What's wrong with young people these days!
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Posted by dheffley:
quote:I don't understand how young people think!
With all due respect Danny, I don't understand why you constantly post these threads "wondering" why your son has gotten himself into yet another jam, and then go on to explain that you're going to overlook his total lack of maturity and personal responsibility by bailing him out AGAIN!!
quote:Because I agreed to pay all expenses up front including parking and tickets....
Strange you would expect UP FRONT that the kid couldn't even make a trip without getting a ticket for something.
He THINKS the way you've trained him to think and he ACTS the way you've trained him to act.
Coming here over and over again telling us you "don't understand" is ignoring the fact that YOU are the problem and is becoming rather tiresome.
Sorry Danny, but the way I see it, you need to have Sandy slap the s h ! t out of you every morning until YOU change your ways!
JMHO0 -
I don't understand how a parent thinks that he is doing his kid a favor by agreeing to pay for him to break the rules. 0 -
You can get a ticket in NY for looking the wrong way at an officer! If you drive your private vehicle into the city, I can nearly guarantee you will get a parking ticket at some point. Just the nature of the beast. Sounds like Danny knew that would happen, and planned it into the "budget" for the trip. I do think I would have told my dad if we had that agreement if I had received one though just on the off chance it did show up on my driving record. 0 -
Yep, the one here who needs a clue is Heff. Damn shame too, he seems so nice. Don 0 -
quote:Originally posted by iluvguns
You can get a ticket in NY for looking the wrong way at an officer! If you drive your private vehicle into the city, I can nearly guarantee you will get a parking ticket at some point. Just the nature of the beast. Sounds like Danny knew that would happen, and planned it into the "budget" for the trip. I do think I would have told my dad if we had that agreement if I had received one though just on the off chance it did show up on my driving record.
When we lived in Delaware, we would tracel to Manhattan every weekend. One time, After my pop bought his brand new Dodge Ram Custom Conversion Van, you know the big ones with the Hi-top, and the TV/DVD player, we had four people hit the damn van, not hard enough to dent it, but they tapped the back twice, and the left side twice. People theyre drive crazy, its hectic. I called my house to leave a message from my brother while walking down canal street, i got home played the message, couldnt even here me, all you could hear was horns honking.0 -
quote:Originally posted by dcon12
Yep, the one here who needs a clue is Heff. Damn shame too, he seems so nice. Don
+1 on that. Ain't no way I'd agree to pay for any kind of wrongdoing on any trip!0 -
quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
So it seems to me you just enabled him to break laws long as they weren't for speeding....things are starting to add up here
My original thought was parking tickets as it's hard to find parking in New York. Still, I didn't specify, so I feel obligated. Enabled him? Maybe, but when you've been there, you can judge me. Until then, just bust my chops here so you feel like a real man. Come see me and you can bust my chops in person. Now's a good time because I have two cracked ribs.[;)]0 -
quote:Originally posted by dcon12
Yep, the one here who needs a clue is Heff. Damn shame too, he seems so nice. Don
And, I'm about to get it. I'm going to stop making agreements with him because they always get twist around and turned into something I didn't intend.
I don't understand these things because I would have never twisted things around on my father. I always just paid my dues for my mistakes and never asked him to do it. I just don't know why someone would try to ignor a ticket, and I don't know why he didn't just pay it so I would never have known about it.
Sandy did tell me it was unavoidable, and I believe her.0 -
HEY!!!, Its not all young people..... I happen to be a young man, but i also happen to be very level headed and have been complimented on that fact many times.
I think it has to deal more with how the kids are raised..... Growing up everything i ever wanted i had to buy with my own money that i earned on my own.... I was taught not to be afraid of work and that honesty can take you a lot farther than dishonesty.
On the other hand, Many of my friends had everything they ever wanted given to them by thier parents and they were never taught what the meaning of work realy was. Today they act exactly like what the kids you mentioned are acting.
Don't pay the fine, You warned him, If he wants to suffer the consequences, its his choice.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Rebel_James
+1 on that. Ain't no way I'd agree to pay for any kind of wrongdoing on any trip!
The thought on paying parking tickets was because Sandy is handycapped and I didn't want her to have to walk too far if parking wasn't available. It backfired on me.0 -
Why should the guy pay it, if you're gonna hold his hand and open your wallet to pay for the ticket. Accident or not the thing couldn't have been more than $20-$50 bucks at the time he recieved it.
If you did have an agreement to pay for any unforsceen things like this, it should also be clear to him that he should have the descency to tell you about the incident.
Of course I'm probably way off because to me that would require him to be fully honest about something, and like you said "what's wrong with young people these days"?
He didn't feel he any obligation to do what was legally right, or even give you the opportunity for you to do what you felt was morally right, by letting you pay the ticket.
And you're gonna jump on people around here for that?
What's wrong with old people these days?0 -
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
HEY!!!, Its not all young people..... I happen to be a young man, but i also happen to be very level headed and have been complimented on that fact many times.
I think it has to deal more with how the kids are raised..... Growing up everything i ever wanted i had to buy with my own money that i earned on my own.... I was taught not to be afraid of work and that honesty can take you a lot farther than dishonesty.
On the other hand, Many of my friends had everything they ever wanted given to them by thier parents and they were never taught what the meaning of work realy was. Today they act exactly like what the kids you mentioned are acting.
Don't pay the fine, You warned him, If he wants to suffer the consequences, its his choice.
Steven, i agree 100 percent as I am a yonger guy here too. And its ok to help your kids out, as long as they learned a lesson from it. I cant say that i never made a mistake and needed my parents help to correct it, but after that, i didnt do it again.0 -
You're not talking about a adolscent child here. Blaming his actions on age is just a convenient excuse for poor character. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
HEY!!!, Its not all young people..... I happen to be a young man, but i also happen to be very level headed and have been complimented on that fact many times.
I think it has to deal more with how the kids are raised..... Growing up everything i ever wanted i had to buy with my own money that i earned on my own.... I was taught not to be afraid of work and that honesty can take you a lot farther than dishonesty.
On the other hand, Many of my friends had everything they ever wanted given to them by thier parents and they were never taught what the meaning of work realy was. Today they act exactly like what the kids you mentioned are acting.
Don't pay the fine, You warned him, If he wants to suffer the consequences, its his choice.
You have my respect.0 -
quote:Originally posted by SuburbanNoize
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
HEY!!!, Its not all young people..... I happen to be a young man, but i also happen to be very level headed and have been complimented on that fact many times.
I think it has to deal more with how the kids are raised..... Growing up everything i ever wanted i had to buy with my own money that i earned on my own.... I was taught not to be afraid of work and that honesty can take you a lot farther than dishonesty.
On the other hand, Many of my friends had everything they ever wanted given to them by thier parents and they were never taught what the meaning of work realy was. Today they act exactly like what the kids you mentioned are acting.
Don't pay the fine, You warned him, If he wants to suffer the consequences, its his choice.
Steven, i agree 100 percent as I am a yonger guy here too. And its ok to help your kids out, as long as they learned a lesson from it. I cant say that i never made a mistake and needed my parents help to correct it, but after that, i didnt do it again.
You too.0 -
quote:Originally posted by dheffley
quote:Originally posted by stevenrayspeck
HEY!!!, Its not all young people..... I happen to be a young man, but i also happen to be very level headed and have been complimented on that fact many times.
I think it has to deal more with how the kids are raised..... Growing up everything i ever wanted i had to buy with my own money that i earned on my own.... I was taught not to be afraid of work and that honesty can take you a lot farther than dishonesty.
On the other hand, Many of my friends had everything they ever wanted given to them by thier parents and they were never taught what the meaning of work realy was. Today they act exactly like what the kids you mentioned are acting.
Don't pay the fine, You warned him, If he wants to suffer the consequences, its his choice.
You have my respect.
Thank you.... And you have mine[^]0 -
quote:Originally posted by bhale187
You're not talking about a adolscent child here. Blaming his actions on age is just a convenient excuse for poor character.
I agree. I wouldn't go into business with him, and I have fired him from two jobs I employeed him to do. He's the baby boy, and 180 degrees from his brother.0 -
Danny, it seems your stuck between a rock and a hard place. Hes your son and you want to help him, but you know in your mind helping him, isnt helping him. Its a tough moral decision, you dontwant to turn your back on him because hes your son, but you wish he would straighten the hell up. I hope things work out, and he finally gets his stuff worked out. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by SuburbanNoize
Danny, it seems your stuck between a rock and a hard place. Hes your son and you want to help him, but you know in your mind helping him, isnt helping him. Its a tough moral decision, you dontwant to turn your back on him because hes your son, but you wish he would straighten the hell up. I hope things work out, and he finally gets his stuff worked out.
I just didn't want him saying it was because he was taking his mom on vacation when the poop hit the fan over an unpaid ticket. He doesn't have a clue how these things will come back and nip you in the butt, and yes, he's my son and I love him. Still, I have to find a way to stop agreeing to things that allow him to do as he pleases and get away with it. He thinks that is the way life is, and I'm not teaching him any differently when I bail his butt out.0 -
quote:Originally posted by dheffley
What's wrong with young people these days!
Of course it is not just young people or just these days. This is how it has always been. Many old people exhibit the same failing character. Why? Because they had doting parents just like you who indulged and empowered them to be sigmoid flexures when they were growing up.
If your kid is old enough to drive, you are already too late; the die is cast. Sorry.0 -
The REAL question is this:
WHY ARE YOU **STILL** BAILING YOUR UNAPPRECIATIVE AND SPOILED SON OUT OF TROUBLE????????????
Thats what we need to be asking. Seriously.
Merc
quote:Originally posted by dheffley
When Josh and Sandy were on their trip to New York for New Years, Josh got a ticket. I didn't find out about it until last night.
I asked him how much it was, and he said he didn't know and wasn't going to pay it. Seems his buddy Steve told him to just forget it becuase they weren't going to extridite him back to New York over a traffic ticket.
I told him to find out how much it was before it went to a warrent situation and at least doubled, and I would pay it.
What's wrong with young people these days!0 -
quote:Originally posted by dheffley
quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
So it seems to me you just enabled him to break laws long as they weren't for speeding....things are starting to add up here
My original thought was parking tickets as it's hard to find parking in New York. Still, I didn't specify, so I feel obligated. Enabled him? Maybe, but when you've been there, you can judge me. Until then, just bust my chops here so you feel like a real man. Come see me and you can bust my chops in person. Now's a good time because I have two cracked ribs.[;)]
Heff, just wondering why you feel the need to engage me in some kind of THREAT, others here have responded in similar ways ...yet you seem to take offense only with me. I know sometimes the truth hurts but acting like a school yard bully really solves nothing on your end. ....If you don't like the responses to YOUR question....then maybe you should'nt ask them anymore.0 -
quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
quote:Originally posted by dheffley
quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
So it seems to me you just enabled him to break laws long as they weren't for speeding....things are starting to add up here
My original thought was parking tickets as it's hard to find parking in New York. Still, I didn't specify, so I feel obligated. Enabled him? Maybe, but when you've been there, you can judge me. Until then, just bust my chops here so you feel like a real man. Come see me and you can bust my chops in person. Now's a good time because I have two cracked ribs.[;)]
Heff, just wondering why you feel the need to engage me in some kind of THREAT, others here have responded in similar ways ...yet you seem to take offense only with me. I know sometimes the truth hurts but acting like a school yard bully really solves nothing on your end. ....If you don't like the responses to YOUR question....then maybe you should'nt ask them anymore.
I think he was more or less just giving you a Friendly Ribbing.0 -
My longest-time, oldest friend had an entire group of children like your Son. He went so far as to start a business so that they would have something to rely on, and he hired them all.
His youngest Son - 31 - will get out of Federal Prison in two or three years - in plenty of time to be tried in State court.
His other Son and Daughter have just informed him that he can't retire, because the business will collapse without him. He has busted his ass at this business for over 20 years, and would like to enjoy himself a little before he dies.
I wish that there was some way I could help BOTH of you.
If you can think of anything, I will be at your side before you know it.
Good luck, Heff.
Doug0 -
quote:Originally posted by reloader44mag
Heff, just wondering why you feel the need to engage me in some kind of THREAT, others here have responded in similar ways ...yet you seem to take offense only with me. I know sometimes the truth hurts but acting like a school yard bully really solves nothing on your end. ....If you don't like the responses to YOUR question....then maybe you should'nt ask them anymore.
No threat 44. A threat would be "I'm gonna' come find you and let you bust my chops in person". I invited you to come see me for more statisfaction of busting my chops in person. You are one of the few guys here who try to twist in an insult on someone and bust their chops. A common internet thing. If my invite to my home seems to be a threat to you, you must perceive what you're doing as some sort of action that requires retaliation. I think you proved my point with your reply. Dish it out, but not take it. Interesting.
You need to understand one thing. I made an agreement with my son, who I trusted the car of my wife to, and he anticipated a problem with tickets for parking. I agreed to pay them, but made the mistake of saying "I'll pay tickets as long as they are for speeding." That was a commitment.
He never asked me to pay the ticket for the tollway, in fact, until Sandy told me, I didn't know there was one. When I asked him, he told me he wasn't going to pay it because his buddy Steve told him they'll never come after him in Texas for it.
I told him he had to pay the ticket, and he said that I was supposed to pay all tickets other than speeding tickets, and at that point, he had me. I had made that agreement.
Now, I can either teach him a lesson and not follow through with my word, or I can do like I did and tell him that I will pay the ticket because he has me on a technicallity and my word is important to me even though I think I'm getting taken advantage of.
I feel it's better to teach the lesson that a man is only as good as his word to someone who has problems like his. I could only do one or the other, and this was the most important lesson in my eyes.
You don't see the other side of the coin, because all you want to do is find some way to belittle me and bust my chops. I'm fine with that. I hope it makes you feel like a real man. Someday, you will be faced with a simular choice, and you'll have to decide one way or the other. It's not as easy as the simple ideas you or others have offered up. Either I break my word, or he suffers a lesson. I won't break a promise to teach a lesson. Most here would, and that saddens me.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Doug Wilson
My longest-time, oldest friend had an entire group of children like your Son. He went so far as to start a business so that they would have something to rely on, and he hired them all.
His youngest Son - 31 - will get out of Federal Prison in two or three years - in plenty of time to be tried in State court.
His other Son and Daughter have just informed him that he can't retire, because the business will collapse without him. He has busted his ass at this business for over 20 years, and would like to enjoy himself a little before he dies.
I wish that there was some way I could help BOTH of you.
If you can think of anything, I will be at your side before you know it.
Good luck, Heff.
Doug
Doug,
I'm worried that Josh will become a little con-artist like his buddy Steve who gave him the terrible advise of not paying the ticket. He is developing the same charactor of those he hangs around. This has been going on for the last few years. He wasn't always this way.0 -
Why in the world are you going to bail him out again?!?!? Let the darn boy grow the hell up. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by ECC
Why in the world are you going to bail him out again?!?!? Let the darn boy grow the hell up.
As staed above,
quote:You need to understand one thing. I made an agreement with my son, who I trusted the car of my wife to, and he anticipated a problem with tickets for parking. I agreed to pay them, but made the mistake of saying "I'll pay tickets as long as they are for speeding." That was a commitment.
He never asked me to pay the ticket for the tollway, in fact, until Sandy told me, I didn't know there was one. When I asked him, he told me he wasn't going to pay it because his buddy Steve told him they'll never come after him in Texas for it.
I told him he had to pay the ticket, and he said that I was supposed to pay all tickets other than speeding tickets, and at that point, he had me. I had made that agreement.
Now, I can either teach him a lesson and not follow through with my word, or I can do like I did and tell him that I will pay the ticket because he has me on a technicallity and my word is important to me even though I think I'm getting taken advantage of.
I feel it's better to teach the lesson that a man is only as good as his word to someone who has problems like his. I could only do one or the other, and this was the most important lesson in my eyes.0 -
quote:Originally posted by dheffley
quote:Originally posted by ECC
Why in the world are you going to bail him out again?!?!? Let the darn boy grow the hell up.
As staed above,
quote:You need to understand one thing. I made an agreement with my son, who I trusted the car of my wife to, and he anticipated a problem with tickets for parking. I agreed to pay them, but made the mistake of saying "I'll pay tickets as long as they are for speeding." That was a commitment.
He never asked me to pay the ticket for the tollway, in fact, until Sandy told me, I didn't know there was one. When I asked him, he told me he wasn't going to pay it because his buddy Steve told him they'll never come after him in Texas for it.
I told him he had to pay the ticket, and he said that I was supposed to pay all tickets other than speeding tickets, and at that point, he had me. I had made that agreement.
Now, I can either teach him a lesson and not follow through with my word, or I can do like I did and tell him that I will pay the ticket because he has me on a technicallity and my word is important to me even though I think I'm getting taken advantage of.
I feel it's better to teach the lesson that a man is only as good as his word to someone who has problems like his. I could only do one or the other, and this was the most important lesson in my eyes.
I saw the explanation in later posts, but when it comes down to it, this was not a parking ticket. This guy should have grown up a long time ago, but it hasn't happened...I think part of that is b/c he knows Daddy is always going to bail him out.
His reasoning alone, for not paying the ticket, would be reason enough for me to not pay it for him.
Your heart is too big Danny...You are going to have to start practicing some tough love if you want to teach the kid something. No offense intended.[:)]0 -
quote:Originally posted by ECC
You are going to have to start practicing some tough love if you want to teach the kid something. No offense intended.[:)]
He had me on a technical point as I didn't say "only" parking tickets. Tough love will be part of new agreements, but I won't go back on my work over a $27 tollway ticket. You know me well enough to know that I have not posted what I said to him before paying the icket. We have heard from him since the throwdown, and most likely won't for another month or so.
I wouldn't take the word of anyone who approved me going back on mine, even in this incident. No one takes their word serious these days.0
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