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Let?s hear your funny phrases.

merlinn
O.K. Guys, one each per post! Short comparative phrases.
I get two because I started this topic!

?Slicker than snot on a doorknob ?

?Colder than a well-digger?s ass?
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Comments

121 comments

Date Votes
  • Bubba Jr.
    He was so dumb, he couldn't tell you what time the 4:00 bus left.

    The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
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  • grdad45
    "But ossifer, I only had tee martoonies!"
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  • merlinn
    If a frog had wings, he wouldn?t bump his ass when he hopped!
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  • fugawe
    "That man shore do love the sound of his own voice"
    "She's so ugly she'd make a train take a dirt road"
    "If he knew half of what he thinks he knows, he'd know twice as much as he actually knows"

    Me: "That boy would screw a snake."
    Buddy: "Hell, he'd screw a woodpile if he thought there was a snake in it."
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  • Ditch-Runner
    she looks like a mud fence after a rain storm
    his face looks like it caught fire and the used a fire ax to put it out
    a couple cards short of a full deck
    I called her a two bit tramp and she hit me with a bag of quarters
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  • lkannes
    He's as useful as tits on a tomcat.
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  • 84Bravo1
    Fell out of the Ugly Tree, and hit every branch on the way down.
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  • 84Bravo1
    Beauty is Skin deep, but Ugly - goes clear to the Bone.
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  • asphalt cowboy
    I wouldn't piss on his face if his teeth were on fire.
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  • Oakie
    Sometimes, you just have to reach down in your pants, and remind yourself, your still a man.
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  • 84Bravo1
    I'll Kick you in the A$$ so hard, your breath will smell like Kiwi.
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  • 84Bravo1
    Stick my foot so far up your A$$, you'll be tying my shoelaces with your tongue.
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  • Zinderbloc
    "When the good Lord passed out brains you must have still been in the nose line."
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  • redfishbob
    F'd up as a football bat!!!
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  • festus
    If'n you ain't gonna use your head, you just as well have two asses!!
    Bitch got enough tongue for two sets of teeth!!
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  • bustedknee
    He ain't lyin -- less his lips movin.
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  • fugawe
    "That deer was so big it took two dogs just to bark at it."
    "I saw a flea in Texas so big it had two dogs on it."
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  • remingtonoaks
    Love-'em-and-leave-'em
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  • remingtonoaks
    Lick'em and stick'em
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  • remingtonoaks
    Old age is not for the faint at heart
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  • remingtonoaks
    Don't let your panties get that tight wad
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  • Missouri Mule K30
    That Girl is Pertier than a New set of Snowtires.[:D]
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  • Missouri Mule K30
    Now that would gag a maggot on a gut wagon.
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  • merlinn
    He couldn?t hit the broad side of a barn even if he was inside of it!
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  • bwct
    Best we can tell!
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  • wpage
    So cold out. Saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets...
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  • Tcatt
    atypical as a three dollar bill
    Not the sharpest tool in the shed
    Dead as a door nail
    Slick as a whistle
    About as exciting as watching paint dry
    Prettier than a spotted pup
    Moving like a hulla dancer in brush fire
    Tighter than a cheap suit
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  • jwb267
    got enough mouth for two sets of teeth
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  • Geri
    Closer than a tic on a hound dog.
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  • bpost
    It's slicker than greased owl crap.
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