Just My Thoughts On Suicide
I have had 2 thoughts on suicide before cancer and after cancer.
Before cancer i thought that all suicide was wrong. That was what i was taught at church and at a christian school.
After going through stage 4 cancer, 5 or 6 surgeries along with chemo/radiation. During the year i was sick i hurt more than anyone could imagine. I prayed most days to let God come get me.
That was 2010. 8 years later i am still in pain everyday. On a good pain day its only a 3. Bad days pain is a 6 or 7.
The bad thing is every month my pain is worse than the month before. It keeps getting worse. After beating cancer they call your status a new normal. My new normal is painful.
My cousins husband had a very bad back with several surgeries. He was in pain all the time. He tried to kill himself before but it failed. The second time he tried he used a gun and was successful.
My Uncle and i are very close. He married my Moms sister. He told me that he did not understand how someone could hurt themself. I told him you know i was raised that suicide was wrong but i have changed my mind.
I explained to him waking up every day, every hour, every minuet and every second hurting. I told him it wears you down.
I told him whats worse is the next month the pain gets worse and worse and before long its so big you can not tote the pain anymore.
My Uncle thought about it and changed his mind about suicide that day.
If you have not experienced massive pain its hard for people to understand.
I have played football with broke fingers taped together. I was a wide receiver and cornerback. Baseball with a broken hand. Car wrecks where someone died and nothing is like the pain i am in now.
I am not smart enough to use the words that can explain the pain im in.
Before cancer i thought that all suicide was wrong. That was what i was taught at church and at a christian school.
After going through stage 4 cancer, 5 or 6 surgeries along with chemo/radiation. During the year i was sick i hurt more than anyone could imagine. I prayed most days to let God come get me.
That was 2010. 8 years later i am still in pain everyday. On a good pain day its only a 3. Bad days pain is a 6 or 7.
The bad thing is every month my pain is worse than the month before. It keeps getting worse. After beating cancer they call your status a new normal. My new normal is painful.
My cousins husband had a very bad back with several surgeries. He was in pain all the time. He tried to kill himself before but it failed. The second time he tried he used a gun and was successful.
My Uncle and i are very close. He married my Moms sister. He told me that he did not understand how someone could hurt themself. I told him you know i was raised that suicide was wrong but i have changed my mind.
I explained to him waking up every day, every hour, every minuet and every second hurting. I told him it wears you down.
I told him whats worse is the next month the pain gets worse and worse and before long its so big you can not tote the pain anymore.
My Uncle thought about it and changed his mind about suicide that day.
If you have not experienced massive pain its hard for people to understand.
I have played football with broke fingers taped together. I was a wide receiver and cornerback. Baseball with a broken hand. Car wrecks where someone died and nothing is like the pain i am in now.
I am not smart enough to use the words that can explain the pain im in.
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Dave while I am not in your position, nor am I in the constant pain, I can sympothize with you somewhat, as after open heart surgery my chest hurt quit a bit, though it has gone away and I am not living with it daily 24/7. I know it would be the easy way out for the individual, but not for the rest of the family involved, they will not look at it the same or take it the same, I would only hope I could go on for them, and not myself.
I say this not to diminish what you are going through, as each person has their own threshold and each person has a right to do as they wish, sometimes prayers are the only comfort left in this life, good luck and god bless0 -
Sir, i can only imagine. We lost a 23 yr old employee 2 weeks ago to suicide. We are still shaking our heads over it. His passing hurt all of us. He was so young and so much to live for.
GOD says he would not put more on you than you can bear. Please think of your family and be strong, as you can, for them.
Praying now for you.0 -
Dave- had a friend in the military. He was badly burned- more than 50% of his body. I had to stop going to see him in the hospital. He kept begging me to bring him a gun so that he could stop the pain. If I went back I would have wound up taking him a gun. 0 -
Before cancer and before radiation treatment and before chemotherapy and before surgery and before the nightmare of hospitalization warehousing and before true pain and crippling soul crushing side effects - before watching those around you suffer and die or take heavy collateral damage...
Before a book of job meets Dante's inferno meets groundhogs day hamster wheel of suffering...
I did not understand suicide or hospice...
Now I do understand - and no longer judge.
Nord helped me understand.
Dave has fought and blazed a trail - I refuse to yield - but dancing with death - staying half a step ahead of Mr death provides a certain unique perspective.
Mike0 -
I believe in euthanasia. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by Sam06
I believe in euthanasia.
Sam now I am not taking that ride with you - your not taking me to visit a nice farm and see the fall foliage...
Your having me put down.
Major stranger danger - swiper no swiping...
Mike0 -
I have lain on the floor and hugged 8 dogs while they were put to sleep. None had any pain and they seemed to go very peacefully.
I held my Moms hand when she died of Ovarian Cancer after suffering for 4 years, with the last 7 months being fed through a port and not being able to eat.
I have watched my Dad descend into the hell of dementia.
I have numerous guys die that were shot to pieces, blown up or crushed.
I watched my Best friend suffer strokes and die very slow because he had cancer as a kid.
I watched my Uncle die from ALS, really die from the feet up. It took him about 6 years and the last 2 were in a bed only able to move his head.
Yea I believe in euthanasia. I hope if I ever get like that and become a burden I have the will to self delete myself.0 -
Sam I was just joking with you...
My greatest fear is not death or pain - it's being warehoused in a hospital or long term care facility unable to communicate or escape
Mike0 -
quote:Originally posted by mrmike08075
Sam I was just joking with you...
My greatest fear is not death or pain - it's being warehoused in a hospital or long term care facility unable to communicate or escape
Mike
I know you were dude.
I like the Soylent Green euthanasia option.0 -
know ye not you were bought with a price?
your life is not your own.
you just rent it.
you must leave this earth the way you arrived....without a hand in it.
so I must disagree.
sorry.0 -
If god was truly loving he'd understand and welcome us home. I mean if dude made us dude should know which one of us couldn't/wouldn't carry on in the suck. 0 -
Until I have walked in your shoes it would be presumptuous of me to offer an opinion as to what is right for you or others...yet I can only try to understand the difficulty one might have coming to grips with that issue.
I have never had pain that couldn't be relived even with medication...I have had friends that have cluster head aches that have told me that they have considered suicide on occasion but were glad that they didn't give in to the thought.
While I do believe in euthanasia , it has always been my wish, that when my time comes I want to die well, playing the cards that I have been dealt...yet, it has been said, that Man proposes , God disposes.0 -
Dave, you and I have shared our stories. You have been through HELL and maybe feel like you are still there. You clearly are one tough hombre! You have told us about your time with others and caring for them when needed. You certainly are making a contribution on this side of the grass and i hope you get enjoyment from that. More to do my friend!
Steve0 -
quote:Originally posted by Sam06
I have lain on the floor and hugged 8 dogs while they were put to sleep. None had any pain and they seemed to go very peacefully.
I held my Moms hand when she died of Ovarian Cancer after suffering for 4 years, with the last 7 months being fed through a port and not being able to eat.
I have watched my Dad descend into the hell of dementia.
I have numerous guys die that were shot to pieces, blown up or crushed.
I watched my Best friend suffer strokes and die very slow because he had cancer as a kid.
I watched my Uncle die from ALS, really die from the feet up. It took him about 6 years and the last 2 were in a bed only able to move his head.
Yea I believe in euthanasia. I hope if I ever get like that and become a burden I have the will to self delete myself.
Agreed.0 -
I watched My Mother and my Uncle,,her twin Brother and one of my Older Brothers die of Cancer.My Father-in-law of COPD. I will Not go out that way,,Each person has their own beliefs and opinions and I honor each .. My wife has know my beliefs for the last 30 years and fully understands.. We as humans think it is wrong to let Animals suffer. We humanely put them to sleep when the time comes.. Why should we Humans be treated different?? 0 -
Search on youtube for Terry Pratchett and his talks on death, dying, and assisted suicide. 0 -
watched my dad , brother , uncles , friends die from cancer a slow pain full demeaning way to go . my mom aunt uncle and grandmother from dementia /Alzheimer again sad way to end your life
I truly think any adult should have the option of just going in peace ther choice to have family , friends with them or just a quiet room and just like the dogs I have held and cried over given a shot to take away the pain and give peace .
I have lost friends and family to suicide , started in high school and sure util I go tough way and choice to make to have to do it with a gun , drugs , even worse with a train , oncoming traffic even more suicide by cop
a way to end it in a non violent peace would be a great option
after seeing all the struggling and suffering I have made my mind up if I am capable of doing so I would choose a quick death maybe OD over months of suffering . if the big guy is truly loving and forgiving he will have to understand we can only take so much pain and prolonging life with machines and countless drugs could not be part of the original plan
I truly hope when my time comes the country considering they are giving any thing and everyone rights to be what ever gender race religion and so on will see clear to allow a terminal ill person the dignity
to go in peace0 -
quote:I believe in euthanasia.
And so do I. I can also relate to Dave very well. Significant chronic pain (which I am also a club member) takes away the quality of life and leaves you simply hoping for a day, or part of a day that is a 3 instead of the 6 or 7 or 8 that becomes the normal. I go to bed hoping to sleep for at least 2 hours. I never see 3 or 4 hours without waking and having to re-medicate with whatever I can find.
Narcotic pain medication is handed out as if it were Brylcream . A little dab will do ya. ( F**K the lawyers ) Many nights I lay trying to go to sleep with the hope that I don't wake up.
Dave - I am so very , very sorry and I mean that from the bottom of heart.
Keith0 -
I have watched family suffer, Deal with my own pain, Trust god as i was taught. I have only one thing now, it was told to me by my wife, its tattooed on my forearm . {Have Faith n Believe} every time I get low scared or confused I look at it. 0 -
Twice early on I had doctors who gave me referrals to hospice care - but I could not do it - was not ready - did not understand what was coming...
I have a different perspective now.
Mike0 -
I had a good friend, Dewie, he was a great guy. He took his life when the pain got too bad for him to handle. He is missed by a lot of people that love him. His family, wife and the rest of us at his job. It was a sad loss. 0 -
I believe in euthanasia
how many times have you watched a loved one in severe pain or on there death bed and said "I wish there was something I could do to help you"0 -
I believe the choice to end our lives is a personnel one that only we can make for ourselves. We all have a limit of what amount of pain we can handle is and it's different for everyone. Hospice doctors give terminal cancer patients increasing amounts of pain killers to help reduce the patients suffering until the pain medications contribute to the patients death but nobody believes the doctors are murderers anymore than the patients are committing suicide by taking them.
I don't think there will be different levels in Heaven for people who were able to endure greater levels of suffering than the next person.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Sam06
I believe in euthanasia.
As do I...it's personal decision...pain comes in all forms and if someone chooses to exit that's their business.0 -
quote:Originally posted by bundy
I believe the choice to end our lives is a personnel one that only we can make for ourselves. We all have a limit of what amount of pain we can handle is and it's different for everyone. Hospice doctors give terminal cancer patients increasing amounts of pain killers to help reduce the patients suffering until the pain medications contribute to the patients death but nobody believes the doctors are murderers anymore than the patients are committing suicide by taking them.
I don't think there will be different levels in Heaven for people who were able to endure greater levels of suffering than the next person.
Yep...hospice is assisted suicide, but no one acknowledges it...no reason to suffer.0 -
Dr. Kavorkian did a good thing... 0 -
Dr. Kavorkian did a good thing... 0 -
I stopped 'judging' people when I became a cop at 19. I got to see lots and lots of pain and suffering. Since those revelations I learned that judging is only for those that have stood in your shoes.... everything else is just a guess. 0 -
I stopped 'judging' people when I became a cop at 19. I got to see lots and lots of pain and suffering. Since those revelations I learned that judging is only for those that have stood in your shoes.... everything else is just a guess. 0 -
No body here is qualified to be a judge including Barz. There is only one unforgiveable sin in the bible and it isn't suicide. 0
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