POLITICALLY CORRECT
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is A "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She Is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO! -BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. Deleted because not politically correct.
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."
Larry
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is A "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She Is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO! -BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. Deleted because not politically correct.
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."
Larry
0
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We all know how literally impossible it is to not offend SOMEONE these
> days, everyone is just SO DAMNED TOUCHY... So this guide will help you on
> how to speak about the opposite sex in a POLITICALLY CORRECT way...
>
> HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>
> She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
>
> She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
>
> She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
>
> She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
>
> She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
>
> She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
>
> She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
>
> She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
>
> She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
>
> She does not NAG YOU - She becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE.
>
> She is not a sister - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
>
> She is not a TWO BIT fatlady - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
>
> HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
>
> He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
> FACILITY.
>
> He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
>
> He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
> DESTINATIONS.
>
> He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
>
> He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
> RELATIONSHIPS.
>
> He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
>
> He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
> INVERSION.
>
> He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
>
> He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
>0
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