My Purina Diet
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog Lola and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
DUH!!!!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. I had accomplished losing 50 pounds before I awoke in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it.
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no...I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
[:D]
DUH!!!!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time. I had accomplished losing 50 pounds before I awoke in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it.
I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said no...I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
[:D]
0
-
oldie but a goodie[:D] 0 -
yep, I've seen this baby cycled around a bit, but it is still a riot. 0 -
OK ... but ... for your praise, here's a bonus piece.
She is pregnant; he had just saved her from a fire in her house, rescuing her by carrying her out of the house into her front yard, while he continued to fight the fire.
When he finally got done putting the fire out, he sat down to catch his breath and rest.
A photographer from the Charlotte , North Carolina newspaper, noticed her in the distance looking at the fireman.
He saw her walking straight toward the fireman and wondered what she was going to do.
As he raised his camera, she came up to the tired man who had saved her life and the lives of her babies and kissed him just as the photographer snapped this photograph.
Scroll down for photograph.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
[:D]0 -
Some guys just can't tell a joke. 0 -
its old. but its still funny. 0
Please sign in to leave a comment.
Comments
5 comments