Old Jokes
My niece sent these to me. She said they were me. I am insulted. [:(!][:(!] They may be me now, but not when I was 50! When I was 50, I was still living.....[:)][:)]
rider
Q: Where can women over the age of 50 find young, sexy men, who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+-year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 50+-year-old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 50+-year-olds to have problems with short-term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not the problem......Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where do 50+-year-olds look for fashionable glasses?
A: Their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+-year-olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "I remember these."
rider
Q: Where can women over the age of 50 find young, sexy men, who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+-year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 50+-year-old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 50+-year-olds to have problems with short-term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not the problem......Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where do 50+-year-olds look for fashionable glasses?
A: Their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+-year-olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "I remember these."
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Seems like ALL the jokes posted here are at least 20-30 years old. Are you guys that far behind??
Here is one more that is 20+ years old but I haven't seen lately.
A super secret gov agency posted an ad for secrete agents. When the applicants arrived, two men and a woman, they were given an assignment.
They were to go into a room and kill the person sitting at the table.
First guy goes in and his wife is there. He quits, can't kill the wife!
Second guy goes in and his brother is there. He also quits, same reason.
The woman goes in and there are six shots, then a terrible commotion.
The agents run in and there she stands. The six shots must have been bad so I had to beat the crap out of him with the chair! Tom0 -
Q: What is the best form of birth control for people over 50?
A: Nudity0 -
I resemble that. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by nunn
I resemble that.
You're a nudist? Ummmmmmm... that's a lot more than we needed to know.0 -
You young people get off here and get back to work.. to pay for our Social Security coming soon...[:o)][:o)][:o)] 0 -
[:D][:D][:D] 0 -
W: how was breakfast dear?
H: I dont remember0
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