For your Sunday pleasure......
Stolen from another forum....[:D][:D]
Best Mother-in-Law jokes ever!
My Mother-In-Law is banned internationally from playing poker, as she keeps all the chips on her shoulder!
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my Mother-in-Law." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"
I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my Mother-in-Law up. As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough".
Q: What do you do if you miss your Mother-in-Law??
A: RELOAD, AND TRY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
Two men were in a pub. One says to his mate, "My Mother-in-Law is an angel." His friend replies, "You're lucky. Mine is still alive."
Q: What do you have when your Mother-In-Law is covered in concrete up to her shoulders?
A: Not enough concrete.
My Father-in-Law was driving down the road and was pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to my FIL's car, the policeman said, "Your wife fell out of the car five miles back." My Father-in-Law replied, "Thank God for that, I thought I'd gone deaf!"
I wouldn't say that my Mother-in-Law was ugly, but every time she puts on lipstick, it tries to crawl back into the tube.
Q: How do you stop your Mother-in-Law from drowning?
A: Take your foot off her head.
Q: What should you do if you see your Mother-In-Law rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot her again.
Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a Mother-in-Law?
A: One's a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other one is a fish.
A guy brings his dog into the vet and says, "Could you please cut my dog's tail off?" The vet examines the tail and says, "There is nothing wrong. Why would you want this done?" The man replies, "My MIother-in-Law is coming to visit, and I don't want anything in the house to make her think that she is welcome."
I bought my Mother-in-Law a chair for Christmas, but she wouldn't plug it in.
A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my Mother-in-Law, and I wanted to say, "Could you please pass the butter?" "But instead I said, "You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."
Best Mother-in-Law jokes ever!
My Mother-In-Law is banned internationally from playing poker, as she keeps all the chips on her shoulder!
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my Mother-in-Law." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"
I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my Mother-in-Law up. As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough".
Q: What do you do if you miss your Mother-in-Law??
A: RELOAD, AND TRY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
Two men were in a pub. One says to his mate, "My Mother-in-Law is an angel." His friend replies, "You're lucky. Mine is still alive."
Q: What do you have when your Mother-In-Law is covered in concrete up to her shoulders?
A: Not enough concrete.
My Father-in-Law was driving down the road and was pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to my FIL's car, the policeman said, "Your wife fell out of the car five miles back." My Father-in-Law replied, "Thank God for that, I thought I'd gone deaf!"
I wouldn't say that my Mother-in-Law was ugly, but every time she puts on lipstick, it tries to crawl back into the tube.
Q: How do you stop your Mother-in-Law from drowning?
A: Take your foot off her head.
Q: What should you do if you see your Mother-In-Law rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot her again.
Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a Mother-in-Law?
A: One's a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other one is a fish.
A guy brings his dog into the vet and says, "Could you please cut my dog's tail off?" The vet examines the tail and says, "There is nothing wrong. Why would you want this done?" The man replies, "My MIother-in-Law is coming to visit, and I don't want anything in the house to make her think that she is welcome."
I bought my Mother-in-Law a chair for Christmas, but she wouldn't plug it in.
A patient says, "Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my Mother-in-Law, and I wanted to say, "Could you please pass the butter?" "But instead I said, "You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."
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[:D][:D][:D] 0 -
nice jokes. but i had one of the most sweetest and carring mother in lawof all . wish she was still here 0 -
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[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]MIL s b-day today[}:)][}:)][}:)][}:)]I may get in trouble 0
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