Held Desk

ACTUAL CONVERSATIONS....
Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."


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Samsung Electronics


Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"


Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."


Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"


Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."

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RAC Motoring Services


Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"


Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?"

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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)


"If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel
to the other side of the car?"

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Directory Enquiries


Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"


Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"


Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off the sign."

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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.


Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"


Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:


"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."


Customer: "OK"


Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"


Customer: "No"


Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"


Customer: "No"


Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"


Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

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Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"


Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"

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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it.

So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?"

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This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."





Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.


(Now I know why they record these conversations!):





Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"


Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."


Operator: "What sort of trouble??"


Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away"


Operator: "Went away?"


Caller: "They disappeared"


Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"


Caller: "Nothing."


Operator: "Nothing??"


Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."


Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"


Caller: "How do I tell?"


Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"


Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"


Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"


Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."


Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"


Caller: "What's a monitor?"


Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when its on ? ?


Caller: "I don't know."


Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"


Caller: "Yes, I think so."


Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.


Caller: "Yes, it is."


Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"


Caller: "No."


Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."


Caller: "Okay, here it is."


Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."


Caller: "I can't reach."


Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"


Caller: "No."


Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"


Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark."


Operator: "Dark??"


Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."


Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."


Caller: "I can't."


Operator: "No? Why not??"


Caller: "Because there's a power failure."


Operator: "A power ... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??"


Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."


Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."


Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"


Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."


Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"


Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"