Engineers - insights as to why
Understanding Engineers - One
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Two
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Two
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Three
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Four
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Five
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Seven
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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Love it.. being an electrician I see that sometimes Engineers are A bit different..[:D[^] 0 -
Engineer One --- Aggie ?????????????????? [:D][:D] 0 -
MAN! great post,I have worked with all the above mentioned[:0] 0 -
Yup.
We is just like that.
Even engineers realize they have their own stream of consciousness.javascript:insertsmilie('[:D]')
Big Smile [:D]0 -
I know for a fact that I went to USC with the two guys in the first example!
If it won't add up it is mathematics
If it stinks it is chemistry
If it wiggles it is biology
If it just won't work it is physics
If it falls apart before your eyes; that means it is engineering!0 -
[:D][:D][:D]
Very good! Funny and yet there's a germ of truth in each.0 -
quote:Originally posted by kristov
I know for a fact that I went to USC with the two guys in the first example!
If it won't add up it is mathematics
If it stinks it is chemistry
If it wiggles it is biology
If it just won't work it is physics
If it falls apart before your eyes; that means it is engineering!
LOL!
that sounds about right [:D]0 -
Okay, I agree that we engineers can, at times, appear a little unusual. So, just to prove that we are normal everyday ordinary people just like the rest of the folks here on this forum I've included my favorite Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe. Please feel free to make a copy for your wife, life partner, significant other, etc. and ask them to make a batch for you. Mmmm, Mmmm, Good!!
Ingredients:
1) 532.35 cm3 gluten
2) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4) 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10) 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)
To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous.
To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.
Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.
By reading, not necessarily comprehending, this post you agree not to hold me liable for any injuries sustained from anyone you ask to whip you up a batch of these tasty morsels.0 -
Heating to 460 Kelvin is classic engineer jargon (that is about 368F for the non geeks out there). I suggest that the cookies be quenched after leaving the oven in a water based fatty emulssion, which also contains calcuim, glucose and glactose. Laymen call this cows milk!
What was your engineering field Old-Colt? I began as petroleum engineer, got laid off from Union Oil in the early 80's and made a switch to structural engineering. Now a days I spend all of my time working on contracts and attending meetings [V].0 -
Are they not all true?[}:)] 0 -
kristov, I was an Electrical Engineer in Defense Electronics for 30 years. I did hardware as well as Software/Firmware design. Retired last year and moved back to Texas. I'm now designing/developing bass catching strategies. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by Old-Colts
Ingredients:
1) 532.35 cm3 gluten
2) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3) 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4) 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5) 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6) 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7) 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8) Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9) 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10) 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)
To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous.
To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.
Jerky..?[;)]0 -
Don't forget the software engineers, or just programmers in general 
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[:D][:D][:D] 0 -
It can get like that too!! [:D][:D]lmao 0 -
quote:Originally posted by kristov
Heating to 460 Kelvin is classic engineer jargon (that is about 368F for the non geeks out there).
Why is my memory telling me that 0^K = -460^F (-273^C)????? So "heating" to 460 K would require that I bake the cookies in my freezer, or is this another case of engineering at it's finest?
Not a engineer, just a knuckle dragging technician that's worked with/on equipment that operates at temps ranging from 15^K to 1200^C
Edit to add ^'s0 -
Hi Tailgunner1954, us old retired engineers can't always trust our memories, so I broke out the slide rule to verify the calculation. If I remember correctly, and I certainly can be wrong, the Kelvin scale is measured in degrees Celsius from absolute zero (-273.15 degrees Celsius). Therefore, by converting Kelvin to Fahrenheit using the formula ((460K-273.15C)*(9/5C))+32=368.33F. Now, I could be wrong since my memory has somewhat faded and my slide rule is a little warped.[:D]
Yikes! I may have proven greeker375's original point![:D][:D][:D]0 -
Per Machinery's handbook # 27 pp 2583:
To convert Kelvin to Fahrenheit tF = 1.8tK-459.67
To convert Fahrenheit to Kelvin tK = (tF+459.67)/1.8
Delta 1K = delta 1C = Delta 1.8F
32^F = 0^C = 273^K
Looks more like my "knuckle dragger" mind got the signage crossed up.0 -
This thread was a very pleasant reminder of my Father, an Industrial Engineer, who passed away in 1966.
He would fit the descriptions perfectly.
He also would have agreed with them.
Thanks, a lot, greeker.
Doug0 -
Hi again Tailgunner1954. Thanks for looking up the conversion formula, I thought for a while that what I have left for a brain was starting to atrophy, too much fishing and not enough thinking.[:D]
So, once again I took out my old Dietzgen Maniphase Multiplex Decimal Trig Type Log Log Slide Rule [:0] and I'm glad to see the conversion you found comes up with my original number:[:)]
tF=1.8tK-459.67
tF=(1.8*460K)-459.67
tF=828-459.67
tF=368.33
My retired brain is starting to hurt so I'm going to stop thinking for a while.[xx(]0
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