Ticked my oldest son off today
He wanted Sandy and I to "re-new" our marriage vows. I told him you don't "re-new" a vow unless you break it and have to start over. I told him, unlike him and his brother, we made or vows and kept them, and they are for life and don't come with an expiration date.
Screwed up his plans, and I'm sorry for that, but it's not something neither Sandy or I are interested in.
Screwed up his plans, and I'm sorry for that, but it's not something neither Sandy or I are interested in.
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WTH?
If my kid came to me with that one I would tell her to mind her own business.0 -
quote:Originally posted by mateomasfeo
WTH?
If my kid came to me with that one I would tell her to mind her own business.
Just a big waist of money as far as I'm concerned. He thought it would make Sandy feel better knowing I would marry her again, even after the stroke. I told him my vow was in sickness or health, so she knows I'm keeping the vow I originally made.
If he wants to spend money, he has 5 kids he can spend it on.[;)]0 -
I imagine she feels just fine, after seeing your support, and the fact that you are still there, and will be, going forward.
I agree,.......you only do that if the original vow was broken.
If he needs to get rid of some dough though, I will be happy to send him my address,........I'll use it![;)]0 -
I agree:
My wife had a series of strokes last year, back at limited desk job after 15 months. I took early retirement to be with her 24/7. Our love and committment is greater than ever.
We don't need a second marriage. Stand your ground. I'd tell my son to live his life- after all I wiped his butt when he was a baby, what does he know?0 -
You sound like you are angry at your son's suggestion. Many people renew their vows as a sign of continuing devotion. It doesn't mean you've broken the original promise. I think you took this the wrong way. If you aren't interested that's OK, it's your decision. But don't get mad at your son or insult all the other couples who renew their vows by suggesting they must have done something wrong. 0 -
I don't see the problem with renewing your vows. My grandparents did it and they've been married almost 70 years. Of course, it is possible they forgot the vows too. 0 -
+1 dheffley 0 -
quote:Originally posted by SaxonPig
You sound like you are angry at your son's suggestion. Many people renew their vows as a sign of continuing devotion. It doesn't mean you've broken the original promise. I think you took this the wrong way. If you aren't interested that's OK, it's your decision. But don't get mad at your son or insult all the other couples who renew their vows by suggesting they must have done something wrong.
Frank,
Absolutely no anger involved from my end, but he did get a little upset. My point with him was I appreciate the offer to do something nice, but he has 5 kids to put through college, and we don't do things like this. Our marriage is strong and private. We don't put on shows, and when he first mentioned it, I asked Sandy what she thought, because I would do anything if it made her happy.
What she told me was, "I'm not walking down the isle in my 50's on a walking cane and a right arm that just hangs there."
I told him today after church that it was a no go, and he got a little upset. I take it as a nice thought, but like I told him, we're still doing fine on the original vows and don't need to "re-new" anything.
I don't even understand why he got upset. He's the one who needs to remember his vows. Every time the going gets rough, he complains about what he could have had if he'd stayed single. Not the thing a "MAN" with 5 kids needs to think or say.0 -
I imagine the oldest son had good intentions. At least he didn't tell you what mine did over the phone..." I wish you and Mom would get a divorce". Haven't spoke face to face with mine for 2 years come Fathers Day. I told him it was a good thing he was on the phone and wasn't within reach or he would have picked his A** up off the ground for a comment like that. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by select-fire
I imagine the oldest son had good intentions. At least he didn't tell you what mine did over the phone..." I wish you and Mom would get a divorce". Haven't spoke face to face with mine for 2 years come Fathers Day. I told him it was a good thing he was on the phone and wasn't within reach or he would have picked his A** up off the ground for a comment like that.
Yep, you have more self control than I do. I would have "looked" him up then delivered the butt kicking!0 -
My older sister has the boy under her control. He is 30, and said things like he was deprived in his childhood. Deprived? All stems from my sister doing an estate and cutting my other sister and me out of about 100K each. I disowned her and it cost her the marriage she was in. Brother in law dumped her sorry butt. Now she is doing payback getting to my son and putting him between us. Sooner or later surely he will see the light. In the meantime life goes on and Daddy and Mommie could sure help him out... but why? He has to learn all this on his own. We are the badguys... 0 -
quote:I told him you don't "re-new" a vow unless you break it and have to start over.
He probably should have used a different phrase - although, that's what it's commonly
called.
[8D]0 -
"If you love someone, you don't have to tell them, they know." Ernest Hemingway. 0 -
My wife and I renewed our vows on our 25th wedding anniversary last April [^]. 0 -
quote: He wanted Sandy and I to "re-new" our marriage vows. I told him you don't "re-new" a vow unless you break it and have to start over.
My wife wants to re-new our vows on our ten year anniversity. Not because anything has happened we have stay faithfull and love each other alot. She just wanted a church wedding and we did it in the courthouse due to a baby in the oven.0 -
I think it matters to the people involved - some couples want to, some don't.
Last year I wanted to renew our vows - wife didn't, so we didn't.
That's how decisions are made here - she gets what she wants - I don't.
Doug0 -
We just did ours after 15 years last Friday,on the beach with 2 close friends and our 9 year old daughter who got baptised as well.Cost us nothing,I could'nt have afforded to pay for the look in my wife's eyes anyway.I saw an opportunity and did'nt think twice about it.
I also heard the vows more clearly this time and even paused when repeating them considering what I was saying,where we've been and where we are heading.From my stand point I've broken ours and again IMO everyone has when you use God's standards.That may not matter to some folks but it does to me and the wife as well.I was here when Sandy and you were going through that season and you are without reproach IMO.Your feelings and commitment to your wife are exemplory(SP)The thread however is about your son and if you actually said,,,,
"unlike him and his brother, we made or vows and kept them, "I'de be upset as well,It comes off pretty sanctamonious to me.A simple no thank you would have been fine followed with "How bout' this weather we're having" Throwing in a statement regarding what appears to be 2 failed marriages was at best inappropriate.
I find myself in agreement with Saxon on this one.I'm gonna leave the boards for the rest of the day on that note as it's a rarity.
Just my .02 Danny,your' a good guy and please forgive me if I've offended you,it's not even remotely my intention,Best;ST0 -
quote:Originally posted by sothere
We just did ours after 15 years last Friday,on the beach with 2 close friends and our 9 year old daughter who got baptised as well.Cost us nothing,I could'nt have afforded to pay for the look in my wife's eyes anyway.I saw an opportunity and did'nt think twice about it.
I also heard the vows more clearly this time and even paused when repeating them considering what I was saying,where we've been and where we are heading.From my stand point I've broken ours and again IMO everyone has when you use God's standards.That may not matter to some folks but it does to me and the wife as well.I was here when Sandy and you were going through that season and you are without reproach IMO.Your feelings and commitment to your wife are exemplory(SP)The thread however is about your son and if you actually said,,,,
"unlike him and his brother, we made or vows and kept them, "I'de be upset as well,It comes off pretty sanctamonious to me.A simple no thank you would have been fine followed with "How bout' this weather we're having" Throwing in a statement regarding what appears to be 2 failed marriages was at best inappropriate.
I find myself in agreement with Saxon on this one.I'm gonna leave the boards for the rest of the day on that note as it's a rarity.
Just my .02 Danny,your' a good guy and please forgive me if I've offended you,it's not even remotely my intention,Best;ST
Sothere,
No offense taken, and not to go into his business on a public forum, he and I have had many sit down, come to Jesus meetings about how he was raised verses how he has chosen to live his life. To him, a vow is only good until the going gets rough or someone pisses you off. I also have issues with him not saving his money and spending it on things that he shouldn't. In turn, I have to bail him out and that causes me trouble because I'm trying to retire and don't need the money issues he causes me.
I think my son was trying to do me and his step-mom a favor, but he needs to take care of business at home first.0 -
I renewed my vows with my second wife, and again with my third. 0
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