Why Men are Happier than Women
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Graying hair adds attraction. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Graying hair adds attraction. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
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OOOOrah, life is goood[:D][:D][8D][8D][8D] 0 -
I'll argue that one about phone conversations!
...only lasts 30 seconds UNLESS the conversation has anything to do with automotive tech, racing, guns, or their job.0 -
quote:Originally posted by rcrxs old lady
I'll argue that one about phone conversations!
...only lasts 30 seconds UNLESS the conversation has anything to do with automotive tech, racing, guns, or their job.
guilty as charged..0 -
ok so what is chcolate cake really??
And whats wrong with tanks? Combine one huge gun with 30 tons of steel and its just about the best SUV ever [:o)]0 -
quote:Originally posted by non mortuus
ok so what is chcolate cake really??
And whats wrong with tanks? Combine one huge gun with 30 tons of steel and its just about the best SUV ever [:o)]
Make that 68 tons of steel. [:D]0 -
when we get old we get little blue pills that solve all our problems[:D] 0 -
...WHY?? Simple for me, Im just happy not BEING a woman...I can't even imagine...[;)] 
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quote:Originally posted by COLT
...WHY?? Simple for me, Im just happy not BEING a woman...I can't even imagine...[;)]
Hee Hee Hee He forgot our ability to forget her name as soon as we are out of site!!!!0 -
quote: One mood all the time.
I dispute that statement.
I have two moods.
Horny and Not Horny.0 -
quote:Originally posted by ripley16
quote: One mood all the time.
I dispute that statement.
I have two moods.
Horny and Not Horny.
Weve got more than two, Horny, Not Horny and Hungry.0 -
Why are we happier?
we have dicks, they don't[:D]0 -
It takes 30 seconds, not 30 minutes, to get ready for bed. 0
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