REDNECK VASECTOMY
After having their 11th child, a Redneck couple decided that was enough
because they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin
didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that
could fix the problem but that it was expensive.
"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry
bomb," "light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear
and count to 10."
The Redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the
shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my
ear is going to help me."
"Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held
the can up to his ear and began to count:
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed
counting on his other hand.
This procedure works in Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, Louisiana, Kentucky,
Arkansas, Mississippi, South Carolina, West Virginia, and parts of
East Texas.
"You cannot conquer America." -William Pitt, 1777
because they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin
didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that
could fix the problem but that it was expensive.
"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry
bomb," "light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear
and count to 10."
The Redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the
shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my
ear is going to help me."
"Trust me," said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held
the can up to his ear and began to count:
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed
counting on his other hand.
This procedure works in Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, Louisiana, Kentucky,
Arkansas, Mississippi, South Carolina, West Virginia, and parts of
East Texas.
"You cannot conquer America." -William Pitt, 1777
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A Kentucky couple, both bonified rednecks, had nine children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision - why after nine children, would they choose to do this.
The husband and wife replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.0 -
quote:Originally posted by He Dog
A Kentucky couple, both bonified rednecks, had nine children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed". The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision - why after nine children, would they choose to do this.
The husband and wife replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.
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