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Joke

kimi
sorry no time take the >> out.

Hello?"
>>"Hi honey. This is Daddy.Is Mommy near the phone?"
>>"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle
>>Paul."
>>After a brief pause,
>>Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle
>>Paul."
>>"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with
>>Mommy, right now."
>>Brief Pause.
>>"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put
>>the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on
>>the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car
>>just pulled into the driveway."
>>"Okay, Daddy, just a minute."
>>A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the
>>phone.
>>"I did it, Daddy."
>>"And what happened, honey?" he asked.
>>"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with
>>no clothes on, then she ran around screaming. Then
>>she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
>>and now she isn't moving at all!"
>>"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
>>"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He
>>was all scared and he jumped out of the back window
>>and into the swimming
>>pool. I guess he didn't know that you took out the
>>water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the
>>pool and I think he's dead."
>>***Long Pause***
>>
>>***Longer Pause***
>>***Even Longer Pause***
>>
>>Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?............Is this 486-5731?"
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Comments

204 comments

Date Votes
  • kimi
    A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit,
    so he asks the biker his name.

    'Fred,' he replies.

    'Fred what?' the officer asks.

    'Just Fred,' the man responds.

    The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

    The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'

    The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson.
    I studied hard and got good grades.

    When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.

    Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

    Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

    Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.

    Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.

    Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'

    The officer walked away in tears, laughing
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  • kimi
    I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her, "What day is tomorrow?"; She said "It's President's Day!" She is a smart kid. I asked "What does President's Day mean?" I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln .... Etc.

    She replied, "President's Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we have 4 more years of Bull Schmit."

    You know, It hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose!
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  • kimi
    The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while visiting a primary
    school class, found themselves in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.


    The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead the discussion of
    the word "tragedy." So the illustrious Rev. Jackson asks the class for an
    example of a "tragedy." One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best
    friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor
    comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."


    "No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident."


    A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove
    over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.'


    I'm afraid not, "explains the exalted Reverend Al. That's what we would
    call a great loss."


    The room goes silent. No other children volunteer.


    Reverend Al searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me
    an example of a tragedy?"


    Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a stern
    voice he says: 'If a plane carrying the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton
    were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'


    "Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson and Sharpton, "That's right. And can you
    tell me why that would be a tragedy?"


    "Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure wouldn't be a great
    loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
    0
  • kimi
    Queen Elizabeth
    and


    Dolly Parton

    die on the same day and they both go
    before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.



    Unfortunately,

    there's only one space left that day,

    so the Angel must decide which of them
    gets in.

    The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she
    should go to Heaven.

    Dolly takes off her top and says,

    "Look at these,

    they're the most
    perfect breasts

    God ever created,

    and I'm sure it will please God to
    be able to see them every day,

    for eternity."

    The Angel thanks Dolly,

    and asks

    Her Majesty the same question.

    The
    Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse,



    shakes it up, and gargles.

    Then, she spits into a toilet and pulls the lever.



    The Angel
    says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in."

    Dolly is outraged and asks,

    "What was that all about?

    I show you two
    of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down.

    She spits into a
    commode and she gets in!

    Would you explain that to me?"

    "Sorry, Dolly," says the Angel,

    "but even in Heaven,



    a royal flush


    beats a pair -


    no matter how big they are.
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  • kimi
    A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts.
    He says to her "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for 100
    dollars? "Are you nuts?", she replies. And keeps walking away.
    He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before
    she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for 1,000 dollars?" he
    asks
    again. "Listen sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?" So the guy runs

    again around the next block and faces her again: "Would you let me bite
    your breasts just once for 10,000 dollars?"
    She thinks about it for a while and "Hmmm 10,000 dollars, eh? "OK,
    just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there"
    So they went to that alley and she takes off the blouse to reveal
    the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them he jumps
    on
    them and starts caressing them, fondling them, kissing them, burying his
    face
    in them,....but not biting. In the end the woman gets all annoyed and
    asks: "Are you gonna bite
    them or what?" "Nah", he replies. "Costs too much."

    Larry
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  • kimi
    One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh please,excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I"m blind & can't see."

    "That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"

    "Well, I really don't know," replied the bunny. "I'm blind and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."

    So the snake felt the bunny all over, and said, "Well, you're soft and cuddly, and you have long silky ears and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!"

    The bunny replied, "I can't thank you enough! But by the way, what kind of animal are you?" The snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny
    agreed to examine him.

    When the bunny was finished, the snake asked, "Well, what kind of an animal
    am I?"

    The bunny had felt the snake all over, and replied, "You're soft, you're cold, you're slippery and you haven't got any balls. You must be a Democrat."
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  • kimi
    Subject: Good Joke! :) HAAHAA!

    Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
    The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to Obama, "What would you like to talk about?"
    "Oh, I don't know," said the Obama. "How about What Changes I Should Make To America?" and he smiles.
    "OK," she says. "That could be an interesting topic.



    But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
    Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl's int elligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
    To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don't know poop?"
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  • kimi
    A guy walks into a doctors office with a 5 iron wrapped around his neck and 2 black eyes. "What happened to you?" asked the doctor. "Well it all started when my wife and I were golfing and by accident she hit the ball into a cow field. When we went to investigate, I saw the ball in a cow's ass. I went and lifted the tail of the cow and that's when I made my mistake." The doctor looked puzzled and asked, "What mistake was that?"
    "I said 'Hey this looks like yours hun!'"
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  • kimi
    Kermit the frog found out he had Swine Flu.. The last thing he said was "That pig said she was clean!"
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  • kimi
    One Sunday morning, the minister noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque.

    It was covered with names with small American flags mounted on either side of it. The seven year old had been

    staring at the plaque for some time, so the minister walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly,

    "Good morning Alex."

    "Good morning sir," he replied, still focused on the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" he asked the minister.

    The minister said, "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

    Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.

    Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear, asked, "Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?"
    _________________
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  • kimi
    I was in a pub last Saturday night. Had a few....and noticed two very large women at the bar.
    They both had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you ladies from Scotland?"

    One of them chirped: "It's WALES you friggin' idiot!"

    So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"

    That's all I remember
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  • kimi
    A father and son went hunting together for the first time. The father
    said,
    >"Stay here and be very QUIET. I'll be across the field." A short time
    >later, the father heard a bloodcurdling scream and ran back to his
    son.
    >"What's wrong?" the father asked. "I told you to be quiet." The son
    >answered, "Look, I was quiet when the snake slithered across my feet.
    I was
    >quiet when the bear breathed down my neck. I didn't move a muscle when
    the
    >skunk climbed over my shoulder. I closed my eyes and held my breath
    when
    >the
    >wasp stung me. I didn't cough when I swallowed the gnat. I didn't cuss
    or
    >scratch when the poison oak started itching. But when the two
    chipmunks
    >crawled up my pant legs and said, "Should we eat them here or take
    them
    >with
    >us? Well, I guess I just panicked!"
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  • kimi
    An elderly lady was walking on the golf course on the island of Martha's Vineyard . She slipped and fell.

    Obama who was behind her by chance, helped her to get up promptly. She thanked him and he answered "It was a pleasure to help you. Don't you recognize me? I am your president. Are you going to vote for me in the next election? "

    The elderly woman laughed and replied: ''No way, I fell on my but ... not on my head......
    0
  • kimi
    A grandfather was eating breakfast with his 10 year old granddaughter when he asked if she knew what tomorrow was. Without skipping a beat, she replied "Yes, it's Presidents Day". She is smart, so he asked, "And do you know what that means?" She answered, "Yep, sure do.".

    Waiting, he expected something thoughtful about Reagan, Clinton, Bush or Obama. Instead she continued, "Well, it is when President Obama sticks his head out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, we have another year of cow cookies!".
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  • kimi
    A man stumbles up to the other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks, "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "you don't say, I'm from Ireland too! let's have another round for Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks, "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man, "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks, "what school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '65." "This is unbelievable!" the first man says, "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '65." About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "the O"Malley twins are drunk again"
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  • kimi
    Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I
    know everyone there is to know. Just name Someone, Anyone and I know them."

    Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "Okay, Bubba, how about
    Tom Cruise"?

    "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it."

    So, Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door
    and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba ! Great to see You! You and your
    friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

    Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave
    Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was
    just lucky.

    "No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.

    "President Bush," his Boss quickly retorts.

    Yep", Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."

    So, off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and
    motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise. I was just
    on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a
    cup of coffee first and catch up."

    Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.

    After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba,
    who again implores him to name anyone else.

    The new Pope," his boss replies.

    "Sure!" says Bubba. "I've known the Pope a long time."

    So, off they fly to Rome.

    Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when
    Bubba says, this will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all
    these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go
    upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

    He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter's.

    Sure enough, half an hour later, Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.
    But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his Boss has had a heart attack
    and is surrounded by paramedics.

    Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened"?

    His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and The Pope came
    out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, "Who's that on
    the balcony with Bubba"?
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  • kimi
    THE WOMAN POEM:



    Before I lay me down to sleep,
    I pray for a man who's not a creep.
    One who's handsome, smart, and strong.
    One who loves to listen long.
    One who thinks before he speaks.
    One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
    I pray he's rich and self-employed,
    And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
    Will pull out my chair and hold my hand.
    Massage my feet and help me stand.
    Oh, send a king to make me queen.
    A man who loves to cook and clean.
    I pray this man will love no other.
    And relish visits with my mother.





    THE MAN POEM:


    I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac gymnast with
    big boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
    and loves to send me hunting, fishing and drinking.
    This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a chit.
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  • kimi
    After an evening having sex with a new lover a man looks on her nightstand and notices a picture of a man, worried he asks her:

    "Is that your husband?"

    "No" she answers "I'm not married"

    "Is that your boyfriend?"

    "No, till tonight I haven't been seeing any one"

    "Is that your brother?"

    "No, I'm an only child"

    Then finally he ask "May I ask who that is?"

    She answers.....










    Wait for it.......











    "That's me before the surgery"
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  • kimi
    It looks like John Boehner will be the new speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one of 12 children who grew up in a two-room home with just one bathroom. He worked his way through school and became the first person in his family to graduate from college. Then, sadly, he fell in with the wrong crowd and wound up in Congress.
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  • kimi
    DAMN TRACTOR!

    A farmer has three sons.

    One day, his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is graduating from school and would really like to get a car.

    His father says, "Son, come with me."

    He takes him to the barn and points to the farm tractor and says, "That tractor is needed here on the farm, but I promise, as soon as it's paid for, we'll get you a car."

    The boy wasn't very happy with that answer but he did understand the situation and said, "Okay, Dad, I understand."

    A week later, his 10 year old son approached saying he was hoping he'd get a two-wheel bicycle for his upcoming birthday.

    Well, of course he got the same answer. "......as soon as that tractor is paid for........ "

    The following month his youngest son began bugging him for a tricycle.

    Again, he got the same lecture about the tractor being paid for first..

    While leaving the barn, the young boy, more than a little upset about the whole thing, sees a rooster mating with one of the hens and promptly kicked the rooster clean off the hen's back, mumbling to himself as he did.

    His dad says, "Son, that is not an acceptable thing to do to any animal!

    You certainly know better than that! Why on earth would you do something like that when that rooster wasn't bothering you in the least?"

    The little boy looks his Dad right square in the eye and says, "Listen, nobody rides anything around here until that damn tractor is paid for."
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  • kimi
    An old-time southern, hell fire & brimstone country preacher had a
    teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought
    to choosing a profession.

    Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do,
    and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

    One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an
    experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table
    four objects:

    - a Bible,

    - a silver dollar,

    - a bottle of whisky and

    - a Playboy magazine

    "I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself,
    "when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object
    he picks up.

    If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!

    If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that
    would be okay, too.

    But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good, low down
    drunkard, and, Lord, help me.... what a shame that would be.

    And worst of all..... if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a
    skirt-chasin', no good bum."

    The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he
    entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his
    books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the
    objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to
    inspect them.

    Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked
    up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the
    bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's Centerfold.

    "Lord have mercy," th! e old preacher disgustedly whispered,

    "he's gonna be a Congressman!"
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  • kimi
    An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
    Dear Bubba:
    I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
    Love, Dad
    A few days later, he received a letter from his son.
    Dear Dad:
    For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES.
    Love, Bubba
    At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.
    That same day, the old man received another letter from his son.
    Dear Dad:
    Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances.
    Love, Bubba
    0
  • kimi
    I had not heard this one before. I liked it and thought I would share it.

    A redneck was stopped by a game warden in South Carolina recently with two ice chests full of fish.
    He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.

    The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?'
    'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish.'

    'Pet fish?'

    'Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home.'

    'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'

    The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then Said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'

    'O. K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'

    The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.

    After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'

    'Well, what?', says the redneck.

    The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'

    'Call who back?'

    'The FISH', replied the warden!

    'What fish?', replied the redneck.

    Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.

    You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.
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  • kimi
    quote:

    A woman was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell. The group waiting on the tee playing behind her was from Washington, DC and included Barack Obama.

    Barack quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet. She thanked him and started to leave when he said,"I'm Barack Obama and I hope you'll vote Democratic in the next election".

    She laughed and quickly said, "I fell on my ass, not my head !"
    0
  • kimi
    A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

    "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services ...the United States Marines .you know one of their nicknames is "The Devil Dogs". In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out and I knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down.

    I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in." "I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says. "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He never did any of that bababooey. He was in the Air Force.
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  • kimi
    The wise old Mother Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
    Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop.
    "Mother", the nuns pleaded, "Please give us some wisdom before you die". She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, "Don't sell that cow".
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  • kimi
    Lets start Sat with a joke.
    What is a yankee!
    Te same as a quickie but a guy can do it alone.

    Why is divorce so expensive!
    Because its worth it.

    Why is air a lot like sex!
    Because its no big deal unless you re not getting any,

    Those who live by the sword will be killed by those who dont. Glyn
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  • kimi
    A man was sitting out on the porch of his rural home enjoying a cup of coffee. He spotted a chicken out in the road. It was weird since no one within miles raised chickens.

    The man went out to the road and scooped the chicken up, took her to his pole barn and fixed up a nice roost for her. Then he drove into town and bought a bag of chicken feed and thought about the good eggs he would be getting.

    The next morning took his coffee to the pole barn and reached under the chicken and was surprised to find a shiny new penny and left some feed for the chicken. Well the next morning he reached under the chicken and found a shiny new nickel. Most unusual he thought and left some feed out for the chicken. On the third day he found a dime. By now he had become attached to this chicken, wanted an occasional egg, and concerned the chicken must be sick.

    The man found an old cage, put the chicken in and drove to town to see the vet.

    After hearing the man's story, the vet examined the chicken and ran a test. He pronounced the chicken was normal.

    The man said how could that be?

    The vet repeated that the chicken was fine and


    wait



    wait



    wait


    here it is





    the chicken was going through the change. [:0][:o)]
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  • kimi
    I got this in my email today. If its been posted already, please ignore.



    >> >A few minutes before the church services started, the towns people were
    >> > sitting in their pews and talking.
    >> > Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
    >> > Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance,
    >> > trampling
    >> > each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
    >> > Soon, everyone had exited the church except for one old man calmly
    > sitting
    >> > in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's
    >> > ultimate enemy was in his presence.
    >> > So Satan walked up to the old man and said "Don't you know who I am?"
    >> > "Yep, sure do."
    >> > "Aren't you afraid of me?"
    >> > "Nope, sure ain't."
    >> > "Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?"
    >> > "Don't doubt it for a minute."
    >> > "Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical
    > agony
    >> > for all eternity??"
    >> > "Yep", was the calm reply.
    >> > "And you're still not afraid??" asked Satan.
    >> > "Nope."
    >> > More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you
    >> > afraid
    >> > of
    >> > me?"
    >> > The man calmly replied......"Been married to your sister for 68
    >> > years."


    [:)][:)]
    0
  • kimi
    Just wondering if the person who invented the dildo heard voices in their head?
    Scroll down and do not hold your breath.



















    "If you build it they will come"
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