Another joke
A man was celebrating his 62nd birthday and his retirement. He and his wife of over 30 years went to dinner at a posh restaurant. The wine steward visited the couple and was told of the momentus event and was asked to select a very special wine. He searched through the cellar and came across a bottle of wine that had been long over-looked. He took it to the table and opened it. As he pulled the cork out poured a genie. The genie was very glad to be released from the bottle and so said he would grant the three each a wish. The steward said he had been in the employ of the restaurant for several years, but would really like to own it. P-O-O-F!! there in front of the steward lay the deed to the property and title to the business. Wow!! said the wife, and continued: now that my husband is retiring we will have the time to do what we want, I'd like a cruise around the world for us both. Again P-O-O-F, there lay a a packet from a travel agent containing tickets for two for an around the world cruise. Now it was the husbands turn and he said- Dear we've been together for over 30 years and I know it will disappoint you, but my wish is for a wife that is 30 years younger than me- P-O-O-F, there he say, now 92 years of age!![;)]
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A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that
the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's
labour pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. Both said they were very much in favour of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was
probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labour progressed,
the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.
At this point they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the
pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer
ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain, and the husband had
experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home they found the UPS man dead on the porch ....0 -
Three men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, "However good you were to your wife, that is the vehicle you will get in heaven".
The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife and I love her". So St. Peter gives him a Rolls Royce.
The next man comes up and says, "I cheated on my wife a little but I stilll love her." He gets a Mustang and drives off into heaven.
The next guy came up and said, "I cheated on my wife alot". He gets a scooter.
Next day the guy that got the scooter was riding along and he saw the guy who owned the Rolls Royce crying.
He asked, "Why are you crying when you have such a nice car?"
The man sobbed, "My wife just went by on roller skates".0 -
Why arnt there any mexican olympic's? .................................................................
All the beaners who can Run, Jump, or Swim are already over HERE !!!0 -
An old gentleman walks into his Dr's office with a voluptuous young woman hanging on his arm...
His Doctor spots him and says; What the heck do you think your
doing?
Why? Says the old man; "You told me to get a hot momma, and be
cheerful."
The Doctor replies; "No I didn't...I said; You have a heart murmur
and be careful."0 -
Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.
They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans.
So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel.
There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife.
However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral.
He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor,
and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived Date: May 9th, 2005
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here
now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.
I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then.
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. sure is hot down here!!!!!0 -
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