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Step mom is driving me crazy.

Cutiegirlracing
My step mom is about to drive me over the edge.
I just brought a new house. closed on it a couple of weeks ago. I'm in the process of fixing it up.
Problem is my step mom from day one has pushed for me to replace all the windows. It's number one on her list. I don't think the windows are bad and think they can wait. I do agree that windows should be on my list, just down on the list. There's too many other things I want/need first.
But she keeps insisting on the windows. Leaving little sales flyers on my desk. Tell me about window sales. Saying how much better the house would look with window. She had our contractor go and get quotes for new windows. She's done a photochop of my house with new windows. She freaking driving me nuts. How do I make her stop!!!
My dad first agreed with me that I can wait on windows, but now she's got him convinced I need all new windows.
My dad went so far as to say that if my real mom would have just breathe the thought of new windows I would have done it by now.
But if my real mom wanted me to have new windows that bad, she would have brought them for me herself.
I can't get it thought my step mom's head that I'm on a tight budget on this house. I can't afford the windows right now. At least not the windows and the others things I want.
Please..please how do I make her stop?
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Comments

54 comments

Date Votes
  • chollagardens
    Just say NO. Tell all parties that you are not going to replace the windows. You will consider it again one year (or what ever amount of time you choose) from the last time you hear about the windows. Today the windows, tomorrow the clothes you wear and food you eat.
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  • slipgate
    quote:Originally posted by Da-Tank
    Take her to dinner. Explain to her the process of puting ones parents in a nursing home. Ask her if she has a preferance. You know just incase. I mean hey it worked for me.


    And ask about the home's euthenasia programs while you are there.
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  • MVP
    Whats the problem???
    Just bluntly tell her you will change the windows when and if you feel like it and for her it wouldn't bother you if she was to find something else to do.
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  • kimi
    quote:Originally posted by fishermanben
    Ask her for a personal loan.

    Ben

    [8D]
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  • goldeneagle76
    quote:Originally posted by fishermanben
    Ask her for a personal loan.

    Ben


    from her that does not need to be aid back for 30 years or so
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  • Colt Super
    I guess Saxon Pig is watching this thread.

    Way to go Frank!!

    And you wonder why people dislike you.

    Doug
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  • sharpshooter039
    you will get all kinds of advice on windows,most of it is wrong,something someone was told in a sales pitch or read somewhere,I am a factory rep for a window company that has been in business since the 20's,I cover Ar,OK,MO and Kansas,almost all I have done in my adult life has been in the siding and window business,Replacement windows will save you on your heat and air ,they will add curb value and will let you resale for more than enough to cover the cost of replacement,Tell youe step mom you just cant afford to replace all your windows right now but when your able you will do 2 or 3 at the time,if you have the old type wood windows in your house you can replace them in about 10 minutes each yourself,other type windows are harder to tear out,if you cant do it yourself there is a newer national company out there called Window World,they will replace any window with a new vinyl single hung for $179 ea,add LoE glass and its runs around $200 ea but always add the LoE and they will do it 1 or 2 at the time as you want,not the best window made but not the worst either and they have a good warrenty,unless you are doing it for a sales pitch at resale dont buy double hung windows,how often will you tilt them to clean the top sash? and with a moving not fixed top portion of the window they are less efficient than a single hung that the top glass if fixed into the frame
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  • Jgreen
    You can't win this one without stepping on toes. You just have to tell her that you want to do it, but not right now, for any one of a number of reasons.

    Sometimes the best thing to do it just let it be like water off of a duck's back.
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  • ROY222
    "Please..please how do I make her stop?"

    Throw her out of one!!
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  • 11b6r
    Reminds me of the story of the window salesman that called the blonde customer, reminding her that she still owed them for the windows she bought last year. Her response? "Duh! You told me these would pay for themselves in 12 months!"[:p] Tell stepmom FIRMLY not first priority, and you need the Energy Tax Credit for windows NEXT year!
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  • Queen of Swords
    Bottom line seems to be that step-mom is under the impression that you are beholdent to her and Dad, and all your investments are theirs and she has the right to intervene, based on the fact that you work for Daddy.
    You need to have a serious discussion with Dad about boundries.
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  • mateomasfeo
    quote:Originally posted by hisbigbootygirl
    just ignore it. :)



    Hard to do, I know, but I agree...
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  • Ox190
    I have one important question....Are you married or seriously involved?? [8D]
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  • Locust Fork
    It sounds to me like she is excited.....and all her energy is focused on the windows. Maybe if you told her you have plans on doing the windows when you can...but then give her a "thing" she can focus all her energy and ideas toward. Maybe painting a bathroom, or changing the curtains or blinds in some rooms. If she could dive into something else she will leave you alone about the windows.


    I also plan on replacing the windows here in my new little country home. BUT....there are lots of small jobs that need attention in the mean time. Even the grass could be an issue for your step mom to tackle. I want to spread some kind of winter grass seed (if I had time.
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  • JamesRK
    I would just say "Permission granted. I hope it doesn't cost more than you can afford."
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  • LKB3rd
    quote:Originally posted by Cutiegirlracing
    I can't be rude to her. After all she's still my step mom and the woman my dad loves. I can be rude to my dad, but that's different.
    I do alot work for them and their houses. I think she's forgotten this is not one of their rentals or flip houses, but my own house. I have no plans to sell this house right now.
    I fell in love with this place and plan to live in it. It's a bank repo and I got if very cheap. People are still making me offers on it. I've been made 2 offers that would made me a profit if I'd took them.
    It's a beatiful 2 story, 3100 sq feet, 6 Bedroom, 3 bath, on 7 woooded hilly acres next to a state game reserve. I plan to make a shooting range, and a pond. and I may sell it later, but right now the market won't support a flip or at least a much profitable one.
    I know I can make alot of money on this house if I time the market right.
    Right now their busy on one of their houses. I'm afraid that after their done that's going to give her more time to push those windows.





    How about asking your dad to step in on your behalf? If he has said the comment about "if your mom had suggested this" maybe he got that from your step mom. Maybe she's trying to assert herself into the mom role, and this is her misguided way of doing it.
    Tell him (i personally would go straight to the step mom) that you appreciate her concern for your affairs, but will make your own decisions about what to do with your house. Tell her you would like her to please back off on the windows, because she has already made her point, which you appreciate and value- lots of stuff about thank you for caring, thank you for offering your experience, will make her feel less brushed off- then tell her you will do the new windows if and when you are able to.
    I'd lead with all the thanks and buttering up, and i appreciate your concern, then end with the "it's my decision and i am not ready for new windows right now."
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  • Maalox
    quote:Originally posted by elkoholic
    Move farther away.


    Exactly [:D]
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  • Talented
    Soo cutie likes boats ....Hummm [8D]
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  • dakotashooter2
    You mention that they "flip" a lot of houses. I'm sure she is thinking in this mindset. It's easier to spend money/invest in expensive improvements when you are anticipating selling a structure in a short period of time. This is not your case. People doing "flip" house are generally taking out loans for more than they can afford with the anticipation they will make a quick payoff when it sells. This does not work for the average homeowner who will quickly get in trouble. Just tell her without a short term payback you cannot afford to do it right away. She should get that. If not she is probably one of those people for which EVERYTHING is "for sale". If worst comes to worst hold both her hands look into her eyes get real close and scream NO.
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  • Cubslover
    quote:Originally posted by Cutiegirlracing
    I can't be rude to her. After all she's still my step mom and the woman my dad loves. I can be rude to my dad, but that's different.
    I do alot work for them and their houses. I think she's forgotten this is not one of their rentals or flip houses, but my own house. I have no plans to sell this house right now.
    I fell in love with this place and plan to live in it. It's a bank repo and I got if very cheap. People are still making me offers on it. I've been made 2 offers that would made me a profit if I'd took them.
    It's a beatiful 2 story, 3100 sq feet, 6 Bedroom, 3 bath, on 7 woooded hilly acres next to a state game reserve. I plan to make a shooting range, and a pond. and I may sell it later, but right now the market won't support a flip or at least a much profitable one.
    I know I can make alot of money on this house if I time the market right.
    Right now their busy on one of their houses. I'm afraid that after their done that's going to give her more time to push those windows.





    When can I move in? I'm great around the house.
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  • bigdaddyjunior
    Tell her you got knocked up by a Mexican fellow while drinking tequilla and you need to save money so you can support his meanie child and his mother,sisters,brothers, their spouses, nephews, aunts, uncles etc when he gets back from Mexico with them.
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  • Cutiegirlracing
    And the pressure continues. Yesterday step mom calls me. She says that if I didn't care because she didn't want to step and any toes (her exact words) She was going to Manards and she would like to price some windows for me. I said sure, but I'm not going to get windows yet. She agreed and said she just thought I like to have and idea what Manards has them for.
    Then we talked for about a half hour on other things about the house. It was really out of character for us to talk for so long. I really don't know what's going on with us. She was really being extra nice to me. I'm thinking it's a trick to get me to get windows.

    I called my dad this morning and ripped him a new ahole. My step mom found out, had to been from him, that I just sold an ATV and double my money. She'd mention it yesterday that I could maybe used that money for the windows.
    I think the pressure from her and being so tired played it's role, because this is one of the worst arguments my dad and I have ever had.

    I was going to take my dad out to lunch today because I do really feel bad for going off. Don't get me wrong he got in his punches too, but I started it. I was my fault.

    At this point I'm not going to get windows out of plain spite.
    I WILL NOT GET WINDOWS!!!!!!
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  • Permanently deleted user
    WHy not invite them BOTH over at the same time and tell them why you cant afford the windows etc,...need new furnace first, or whatever...

    And again, ask her why, in front of your father, why she wants windows so bad in the place....Is it possible she might be thinking of your safety? or the windows losing a lot of heat in the winter?...

    Dont do it separatly...everyone knows that an answer from one person to number three person, going thru number 2 person is going to get changed wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy around....

    You all have to be in the same room at the same time to get this resolved...Listen them out, and ask they do the same for you...dont lose your cool, state your case and listen to theirs...
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  • Marc1301
    Grow up, and live your own life.
    Unless you are taking money from them, neither one of them has a right to tell you what to do.
    If you ARE, then you need to stand on your own, and this crap won't happen.
    You CAN say this to folks that you love without causing WW3, but you must be totally independent of them financially.
    If she is a "nut", then you need to express that to your dad, and make your priorities.
    He may not like it at first, but after some thought, he may get your side of things.
    I will admit I have not read every post, as I am not into "Oprah" type events.
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