I am the best boss ever!
I am a wonderful boss. Working for me you can pretty much set your own hours, take liberal paid vacations and starting salary is in the high six figures. Wait, wait I haven't told you about the perks yet! For around $90 a month I'll enroll you in a fully covered health insurance program with dental and eye care. And just because I am such a wonderful boss I will include your family for free and cover you all for life. Not enough to persuade you? Ok, if you work for me for just a few years I'll throw in a pension plan that starts paying at 52 years old at around $50k per year. If you stay hired on a little longer your pension can go well into the six figures. All of my pension plans have built in yearly cost of living increases. Hold on now, I haven't told you the best part. While you are working for me you are allowed to moonlight and I even allow you to seek out future employment while you are on the job. If you should get caught short, I offer you the ability to determine your own salary as long as you can get the other employees to accept a raise too. Sounds really great, doesn't it?
I know what you are thinking; "There is no way I am qualified for a dream job like that."
Don't sell yourself short. It isn't a difficult job. You have to be able to clean up nice and have a suit or two. We're not talking movie star good looks. We'll settle for "not totally repulsive". Lying through your teeth without thinking twice about it is a real plus. I can't stress how important, a complete lack of integrity, feigned sincerity and maniac level self-esteem issues will be to the successful applicant.
I forgot to mention another treat I bestow upon my employees. Once you get the job and for the rest of your life everyone has to call you "Congressman This" or "Senator That". Pretty cool huh? I am an American Taxpayer and I am the best boss in the world! So are you. Makes you feel good, doesn't it?
I know what you are thinking; "There is no way I am qualified for a dream job like that."
Don't sell yourself short. It isn't a difficult job. You have to be able to clean up nice and have a suit or two. We're not talking movie star good looks. We'll settle for "not totally repulsive". Lying through your teeth without thinking twice about it is a real plus. I can't stress how important, a complete lack of integrity, feigned sincerity and maniac level self-esteem issues will be to the successful applicant.
I forgot to mention another treat I bestow upon my employees. Once you get the job and for the rest of your life everyone has to call you "Congressman This" or "Senator That". Pretty cool huh? I am an American Taxpayer and I am the best boss in the world! So are you. Makes you feel good, doesn't it?
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Iam filing my papers to run in the next election [8D][8D][8D] 0 -
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Really pisses you off doesn't it? 0
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