Tax refund.....help
Every year for eight years my wife has gotten the tax refund money to with as she wishes. This was not the agreement when we got married. It was supposed to be hers one year and mine the next. But she has gotten it every stinking year. She even got it for the time we were divorced (we conveniently got back together just before tax time).
This year she plans on paying off some credit cards and she spent about $200 on new rugs (this women has spent over $7000 on new rugs and flooring for two houses since we've been married) when she just got new rugs before Christmas. So I mentioned that if I had $200 I could get a new rifle like my friends Yugo SKS. She said that I couldn't have any money. Any of my hard earned money. WTH it's my money.
Last night she changes her mind (sort of) and says I can $200 but I can't spend it on guns. The problem is that I'm Exactly $200 short of what I need to get another AR kit. If I get the money I know what I'll do and she will probably want to see what I spent it on (no that it's any her business).
OK after the back story I need a way to convince or at least talk her into letting me buy a gun. She is pretty anti gun but she doesn't mind me having a few and we have an agreement that I can have my guns as long as I keep them out of her sight. So I figure I can pull this off if I can talk her into letting spend the cash on a gun.
Any help or ideas would be greatly appreciated.
This year she plans on paying off some credit cards and she spent about $200 on new rugs (this women has spent over $7000 on new rugs and flooring for two houses since we've been married) when she just got new rugs before Christmas. So I mentioned that if I had $200 I could get a new rifle like my friends Yugo SKS. She said that I couldn't have any money. Any of my hard earned money. WTH it's my money.
Last night she changes her mind (sort of) and says I can $200 but I can't spend it on guns. The problem is that I'm Exactly $200 short of what I need to get another AR kit. If I get the money I know what I'll do and she will probably want to see what I spent it on (no that it's any her business).
OK after the back story I need a way to convince or at least talk her into letting me buy a gun. She is pretty anti gun but she doesn't mind me having a few and we have an agreement that I can have my guns as long as I keep them out of her sight. So I figure I can pull this off if I can talk her into letting spend the cash on a gun.
Any help or ideas would be greatly appreciated.
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if you are fighting over 200 bucks, you need a better job! and some balls! 0 -
Dude... I have just been reading some of your other posts.
Two questions...Name the guns you all ready have? Why do I have the feeling that she had to put her foot down and cut your butt off?0 -
Wham. Bam. Thank you, Mam.
D.0 -
cashgofast 0 -
quote:Originally posted by fastcarsgofast
What I'm looking for is a way to get permission. I can always get forgiveness later.
Where's Cyclonus when you need him??????
First-as posted-screw permission-go for forgiveness. Second-with a show of hands-how many guys here have wives that know what they have in the gun locker??????
My wife has no clue. Nor will she ever. She might notice the 3rd safe I bought while she was in NY this week. Might.
Get a tool to show her (insert joke here)and tell her that's what you bought. Make sure she finds you using that tool so its already dirty.0 -
Simple solution. Don't over withhold. Why do you want to give the government an interest free loan in the first place? Under withhold & then tell her it's all hers. 0 -
Dont sign the check
or mark it for deposit only and take what you want
out of the bank.
I assume you filed joint.0 -
quote:Originally posted by fastcarsgofast
What I'm looking for is a way to get permission. I can always get forgiveness later.
Then don't worry about "permission".0 -
quote:Originally posted by codenamepaul
[brSecond-with a show of hands-how many guys here have wives that know what they have in the gun locker??????
Mine has handled every one of mine, and has been with me when I've purchased a number of them. If I ask for to bring me a certian one, she knows which one to fetch from the safe.
She owned her own skeet guns (28 & 12ga), she owned a couple of SKS's, has her own deer rifle (7-08) and selected her own handgun (44 Spl). She also did most of our shotgun reloading (20 boxs / week average).0 -
Tell her ok but next year we'll file seperately so's there will be no arguement about money. Each one gets as they make. This is more equal that splitting it down the middle.
What gruntled said! [;)]
Allen0 -
quote:Originally posted by tobefree
Dude... I have just been reading some of your other posts.
Two questions...Name the guns you all ready have? Why do I have the feeling that she had to put her foot down and cut your butt off?
Currently I own one of each: Kel Tec p3at, S&W 640, Bulgarian Makarov, Rossi 88, Mosin Nagant M38, New Haven Arms 600, Remington model 14, Ruger Mini 14, and two Stripped AR receivers.
Before Our first son was born I owned, and sold each of the following to pay for baby stuff. Takarov SVT 40, Robinson Armaments Vepr 2 in 7.62x39, Quality hardware M1 carbine, Springfield Garand, Olympic Arms AR 15, Maadi AK 47, Norinco SKS D, Marlin model 60, Sako Mosin Nagant, Russian M 44, Springfield 1911 a1, Glock 27, Bulgarian Makarov, Beretta model 1934, Bersa thunder 380, Mossnerg 500, Beretta 92 fs, and Two Ruger Mini 14's.
I admit I was maybe a little over board before the kids but know I can justify within reason each firearm I own and want. The pistols are for Off duty carry or BUG use. The M38 is good for hog hunts, the model 14 is a family heirloom, the shotgun and other rifles are for use at the dept also. I currently use the Mini 14 but there is talk about going solely with AR types. And the honor guard only uses AR's so I'll need one if want to get in.
Besides I was responsible and put the family first when my first son was born. Like I said before I'm getting what I want. I usually just rat hole money away but since she offered I'm taking a lump sum. We don't fight about money. We make enough. I just want to make her see this my way without an argument.
And as far as trouble in our marriage it is not there. We just disagree on one issue. I know a lot of people who would like to have a marriage that simple. Some guys fight with their wives over cars, motorcycles, alcohol, sports, in laws, and a host of other reasons. We don't have those arguments. Just about how many guns I "need". And when I say fight I don't mean screaming and yelling and just mean disagreement and maybe a little unpleasantness, but nothing big.
And our divorce happened three months after we were married. She felt overwhelmed and wanted out. I couldn't talk her out of it, so I gave it to her. Six months later she called me back. We never stopped talking or really even seeing each other. It was weird, but then again she is a woman.
I forgot the Norinco M14 sporter I sold as well.0 -
quote:Originally posted by spryor
quote:Originally posted by fastcarsgofast
What I'm looking for is a way to get permission. I can always get forgiveness later.
Then don't worry about "permission".
I think that's the best way to go. She can never stay mad at me for more than a day.0 -
Put $200 towards a new gun safe to sit on top of one of those new rugs.
"Marriage is the leading cause of Divorce"0 -
What I'm looking for are the right words to make her see it my way or at least let me have my way without giving me that "you spent money on what? You dumba$$ look" that she is so good at. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by minitruck83
Tell her ok but next year we'll file seperately so's there will be no arguement about money. Each one gets as they make. This is more equal that splitting it down the middle.
What gruntled said! [;)]
Allen
I only make a few grand more than her and I always like to think of it as our money. I started off teasing her about the rugs but when she told me I had a free pass to spend $200 I thought woo hoo! Then she threw the wet blanket on me with the no gun thing. I would never have thought about spending $200 of the tax money (which is only a small portion of our return anyway) until she said I could. Then the whole no gun rule tweeked me off. So I decided I am going to spend it on a gun anyway. I really would have gone to Talladega but on the principal of the matter I'm getting the gun.0 -
quote:Originally posted by fastcarsgofast
What I'm looking for is a way to get permission. I can always get forgiveness later.
It is easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission.0 -
quote:Originally posted by drygulchdan
I just feel sorry for the kids.If they are boys they will grow up thinking its ok to be a henpecked wuss of a husband,and if they are girls they will grow up in several failed relationships because they wont be able to find anybody to put up with their controling ways.(unless they marry a liberal)[:D]
Don't feel sorry for the kids. First off they don't get to see us in any kind of argument. We always do it somewhere and sometime later. This also helps make sure that nothing is said in anger. Second they are raised in a loving and compromising environment. They can see that marriage is a teem effort and that husbands and wives can get a long even when they have different views on certain issues. Again this is not about me not getting the gun without her blessings. I'm so gonna get it. It is about trying to figure out a way to outsmart her into giving me her blessings.0 -
I get the feeling from most of the posts that when I went on my rant in the original post I wasn't clear on my situation and most have gotten the wrong picture of my marriage.
Let me clarify. My wife and love each other. The kids are our primary source of pride and joy. We love them very much. We get along like two good friends (this took a while to achieve but we got their). We do most everything together. She watches NASCAR and PBR with me and I watch boring TV shows with her. This allows us to spend time together and we enjoy each others activities because it allows time together.
We just don't agree on the gun issue. So her idea of a compromise was that I keep them out of sight and not flaunt them in front of her. I do this very well. Some of you call this being a wuss. I call this being smart and respecting my wife's wishes. If she had worded her request in another way I would be buying tickets to Talladega right now, but trying to make it a rule has made it a challenge. I'm looking for a way to win without her figuring out that it was a challenge. This is called outsmarting your opponent. I'm probably not smart enough to do this alone so I have come here for advise. So far it seems you guys are not up to the challenge either.0 -
One more thought. Sugar catches more ants than vinegar. If I wanted to buy the gun ($200) and not catch the flack over it, I might also spend $200 on new clothes for her, or jewelry, or something that she especially likes. (My favorite is lingerie) The really nice ones. Often, makes for a more comfortable evening. 0 -
Now it's a given my wife is not anti-gun in the least. What I do with my wife is if I really want something I get it regardless. Then I brace myself and tell her I got it and it's a done deal. If she doesn't like it that much she can leave. I do this rarely, but with this ban coming I already told her depending on what this bill does I might be buying a few more guns no matter what she thinks our finacial cushion should be, because I'll never be able to get them agian.
Your wife seems very ungratefull. You are a man, act like it. Put your foot down and tell her if she doesn't like it she can get the hell out. You sound very unhappy and no matter how much you want to keep the peace, you shouldn't live unhappy. Your hobbys and passions are every bit as important as hers. Make her accept that one way or the other. I did this with my wife and we fought alot, but she realizes now there some lines she better not cross because she will lose if it comes to her or guns. She is the one making the choice I was upfront when we married.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Kodiakk
Now it's a given my wife is not anti-gun in the least. What I do with my wife is if I really want something I get it regardless. Then I brace myself and tell her I got it and it's a done deal. If she doesn't like it that much she can leave. I do this rarely, but with this ban coming I already told her depending on what this bill does I might be buying a few more guns no matter what she thinks our finacial cushion should be, because I'll never be able to get them agian.
Your wife seems very ungratefull. You are a man, act like it. Put your foot down and tell her if she doesn't like it she can get the hell out. You sound very unhappy and no matter how much you want to keep the peace, you shouldn't live unhappy. Your hobbys and passions are every bit as important as hers. Make her accept that one way or the other. I did this with my wife and we fought alot, but she realizes now there some lines she better not cross because she will lose if it comes to her or guns. She is the one making the choice I was upfront when we married.
Not unhappy here. A little tweeked maybe. We had our agreement on gun perchases and she tried to change the rules of engagement. I took this as a challenge and by gosh I will win one way or the other.
BTW I really appreciate that you guys seem concerened about my happiness. But let your hearts not be troubled. I'm fine. It does say a lot about the forum to care so much about a complete idiot stranger.0 -
quote:Originally posted by codenamepaul
quote:Originally posted by fastcarsgofast
What I'm looking for is a way to get permission. I can always get forgiveness later.
Where's Cyclonus when you need him??????
First-as posted-screw permission-go for forgiveness. Second-with a show of hands-how many guys here have wives that know what they have in the gun locker??????
My wife has no clue. Nor will she ever. She might notice the 3rd safe I bought while she was in NY this week. Might.
Get a tool to show her (insert joke here)and tell her that's what you bought. Make sure she finds you using that tool so its already dirty.
The wife knows, but that's because the wife is interested in guns. Sometimes, she buys me one as a gift (Christmas 2005 and birthday 2006 brought me two um... owner manuals).0 -
DUDE You are so wrong about something, and I think my being married for 27 years to the same women can qualify me to give advice
First off you do not have a friend in your wife she is obviously in control of things.
Every year for eight years my wife has gotten the tax refund money to with as she wishes. This was not the agreement when we got married. It was supposed to be hers one year and mine the next. But she has gotten it every stinking year.
Your clearly pissed about this, this is not a fair arrangement, yet to prevent an argument you relinquish, sounds like she is getting her way simply by forcing you to chose between peace or following her wishes
She said that I couldn't have any money. Any of my hard earned money. WTH it's my money.
Again I can sense your frustration, its your dang money, but maybe not huh?
I need a way to convince or at least talk her into letting me buy a gun
You are clearly needing permission here
I can have my guns as long as I keep them out of her sight.
Come on you have to hide your guns from her? She does not have to like it and you don't stick them in here face but you should not have to hide anything you are doing legally from your spouse to avoid an argument, what about her respecting your hobby?
But if I show her what I spent the money on then we fight. And they are stupid fights. I wouldn't mind if it a fight about something important.
Divorce really isn't an option. We have three kids, I love her, took a vow in front of God, and this is the only issue we really have ( I like guns and she don't).
You dumba$$ look" that she is so good at...
We always do it somewhere and sometime later.
Buddy I highly reccomend you get yourselves into counseling, your marriage is destined for failure. I own a lot of gun manuals and other books and my wife strongly does not care for guns either,but my wife respects my decisions to enjoy a hobby. She will fish and Jet ski with me she chooses not to enjoy my shooting time, I'm going to Knob Creek with a Buddy this April YEA (couldn't resist) anyway she has things she does also that I either enjoy with her or not. We both have a certain amount of play money and with consideration of the differences in our incomes we split the finacial responsibilitys equally. I respect what she does even when I don't enjoy it and I don't criticise her for spending good gun money [:D] on tickets to some soupy play I just don't go to that.
If you see her as in charge of everything without an argument and you can't spend two hundred dollars ( a small percentage of your refund according to you) without permission your resentment of this women ( it shows already) will simply deepen and eventually you will hate your life and be too afraid of losing her to move on. Ditch the Biatch and pay your child support and buy guns or get counseling0 -
Considering our situation, last year we had to pay an additional $6200, and it looks like we will be paying just over $7000, this year, how quick would your wife be to contribute to this additional tax burden if it was your's? 0 -
From a womens point of view..... I have a question to ask. Who is the one that is employed in order to get a refund?
Next of all You should tell here like it is. If by chance she can not go by the agreement then tell her you will rip out her rugs...
My husband and I are fairly good with our tax return. He bought me a laptop and bought himself a NEW GUN!! With the rest we are planning on buying a new tv. Something that we both can get use of.
Another point of view is, does she like to shop for clothes? Well Men like to shop for guns. Thats just the way it is and she will have to learn to deal with it.
I don't understand why so many women bicker over fire arms. I am a hunter myself.0 -
quote:Originally posted by tobefree
OK dude You are what is known as a wuss. And now for the bad news... WE CAN'T HELP YOU...
There is hope though, cause you can help yourself....
Tonite walk right up to her and say I am getting a gun and if you don't like it there is the door. I've been more than fair and this year it is my turn.. And we from this year forth are keeping that every other year agreement. Like it hate it that is the way it is...
She may leave, but you'll have taken care of that wuss moniker...
Best answer yet, IMO, and I've read them all.
To that I would add, even if she doesn't leave you're likely to have a wicked fight.
And then like others have suggested, go get some professional help. If you can't agree on how to handle money, you've got bigger problems than a parts kit or a rug. And it sounds like you're already bitter about years of not getting YOUR OWN tax refund back. Unlike wine, that will not mellow with time.0 -
quote:Originally posted by codenamepaul
quote:Originally posted by fastcarsgofast
What I'm looking for is a way to get permission. I can always get forgiveness later.
Where's Cyclonus when you need him??????
First-as posted-screw permission-go for forgiveness. Second-with a show of hands-how many guys here have wives that know what they have in the gun locker??????
My wife has no clue. Nor will she ever. She might notice the 3rd safe I bought while she was in NY this week. Might.
Get a tool to show her (insert joke here)and tell her that's what you bought. Make sure she finds you using that tool so its already dirty.
Long term GF could probably estimate the number of guns I own to within 20% (and I own few of them, so +/- 20% is a decent estimate). She neither knows nor cares what they are. Sometimes she's kind enough to indulge me and listen to my ravings about some particular gun that's caught my fancy, or that I've acquired.0 -
First off... I would NEVER deal with a wife that acted like that. Nor would I expect to put up with ME should I act like that. You two have some issues there.
As to what to spend your $200 on and show it to her, buy groceries with it. Show her the bill, show her the food, then cook a nice meal for her. Since $200 was added to the "family daily living needs" budget, you can take the "spare" $200 out and buy your gun parts.
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