Anybody have a "crappy" Christmas?
Before you complain because you didn't get what you wanted for Christmas, just know that some people had an even...um..."crappier" Christmas than you:
CHRISTMAS STINKS
DES MOINES, Iowa -It was a stinky holiday for Robert Schoff.
The 77-year-old man spent part of Christmas Eve stuck upside down in the opening of his septic tank, with his head inside and his feet kicking in the air above.
"It wasn't good, I'll tell you that!" Schoff said Tuesday. "It was the worst Christmas Eve I've ever had."
Schoff reached into the tank Monday in an effort to find a clog, but he lost his balance and got wedged into the opening. The 135-pound Schoff hollered and screamed for help, but it was AN HOUR before his wife, Toni, walked by a window and saw his feet in the air.
"I saw these kicking feet and ran out, but I couldn't get him out." Toni Schoff said.
She called 911 and two Polk County sheriff's deputies yanked her husband out of the tank.
Mr. Schoff says: "I thought it was the end of my life! Thank God my wife saw me. I don't think I could have stood it in there much longer."
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Worst Christmas ever, huh? Well, I don't think BAH HUMBUG could even begin to cover that.
http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation/713238,iowa122607.article
CHRISTMAS STINKS
DES MOINES, Iowa -It was a stinky holiday for Robert Schoff.
The 77-year-old man spent part of Christmas Eve stuck upside down in the opening of his septic tank, with his head inside and his feet kicking in the air above.
"It wasn't good, I'll tell you that!" Schoff said Tuesday. "It was the worst Christmas Eve I've ever had."
Schoff reached into the tank Monday in an effort to find a clog, but he lost his balance and got wedged into the opening. The 135-pound Schoff hollered and screamed for help, but it was AN HOUR before his wife, Toni, walked by a window and saw his feet in the air.
"I saw these kicking feet and ran out, but I couldn't get him out." Toni Schoff said.
She called 911 and two Polk County sheriff's deputies yanked her husband out of the tank.
Mr. Schoff says: "I thought it was the end of my life! Thank God my wife saw me. I don't think I could have stood it in there much longer."
________________________________________________
Worst Christmas ever, huh? Well, I don't think BAH HUMBUG could even begin to cover that.
http://www.suntimes.com/news/nation/713238,iowa122607.article
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Some will find this story offensive.
The first Christmas Tracy, my wife, had with my family, we went to my Aunt and Uncle's house. Not only was it her first Christmas in the family but my Grandfather had also remarried and it was her first Christmas with us also. She was a rather polite, proper, but sweet old lady. Everyone was on there best behavior.
My aunt also invited my deceased grandmother's cousin, Mary, over. She was a dingbat, very flakey, old, and she had a weird condition with these mole like bumps all over her entire body. We ate lasagna for supper. Throughout the meal Mary kept saying "I haven't eaten this much in 3 days" and just went on and on about how delicious everything was. We thought nothing of it. Again she was a dingbat.
Later that evening, My sisters and cousin were playing the piano on the in the front room as if we were a captive audience, which we were. It was a boring Christmas tradition that they loved and made me understand why the Japanese commit hara-kiri. To this day, I will not alow a piano in my house.
Now the house is a two story but it is pretty much a shotgun style with a front room, living room, dining room and kitchen from front to rear. The bathroom is off the kitchen. I was in the room just before the piano with Tracy, my Grandfather, his wife, and a few others. I was bored but sat there politely when Mary comes walking fast through the room. Her right hand is between the butt cheeks and she is saying "Oh! Oh! Oh!" At this point things got much less boring.
Apparently she was serious about not eat this much in three days. He body was rejecting the supper. So for the next 15 minutes I'm sitting there laughing chuckling on the inside about what I just saw. I know Tracy is doing the same thing. Actually, we are all pretending nothing is wrong. It's more like that facade family put up that everything is OK and no one wants to talk about the obvious ptoblem before us. Finally my uncle gets up to check on her.
He finds Mary in the kitchen with nothing but her bra on. Mole condition and all. Fortunately he stopped her before she had made it to the living room because she was coming that way.
She had made a mess of the bathroom. Everything was thrown out. Crap on the towels. Crap on the carpet. Crap on the decorative towels. Crap on the toliet seat cover. I remember my cousin saying "Just throw it away mom" as my aunt was debating on what can be washed.
We never discussed the Christmas with my Grandfather's new wife, but it truly was a crappy Christmas.0 -
It looks like some people had a VERY special visitor this Christmas. [xx(]
HI-DE-HO!
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quote:Originally posted by Captplaid
Some will find this story offensive.
The first Christmas Tracy, my wife, had with my family, we went to my Aunt and Uncle's house. Not only was it her first Christmas in the family but my Grandfather had also remarried and it was her first Christmas with us also. She was a rather polite, proper, but sweet old lady. Everyone was on there best behavior.
My aunt also invited my deceased grandmother's cousin, Mary, over. She was a dingbat, very flakey, old, and she had a weird condition with these mole like bumps all over her entire body. We ate lasagna for supper. Throughout the meal Mary kept saying "I haven't eaten this much in 3 days" and just went on and on about how delicious everything was. We thought nothing of it. Again she was a dingbat.
Later that evening, My sisters and cousin were playing the piano on the in the front room as if we were a captive audience, which we were. It was a boring Christmas tradition that they loved and made me understand why the Japanese commit hara-kiri. To this day, I will not alow a piano in my house.
Now the house is a two story but it is pretty much a shotgun style with a front room, living room, dining room and kitchen from front to rear. The bathroom is off the kitchen. I was in the room just before the piano with Tracy, my Grandfather, his wife, and a few others. I was bored but sat there politely when Mary comes walking fast through the room. Her right hand is between the butt cheeks and she is saying "Oh! Oh! Oh!" At this point things got much less boring.
Apparently she was serious about not eat this much in three days. He body was rejecting the supper. So for the next 15 minutes I'm sitting there laughing chuckling on the inside about what I just saw. I know Tracy is doing the same thing. Actually, we are all pretending nothing is wrong. It's more like that facade family put up that everything is OK and no one wants to talk about the obvious ptoblem before us. Finally my uncle gets up to check on her.
He finds Mary in the kitchen with nothing but her bra on. Mole condition and all. Fortunately he stopped her before she had made it to the living room because she was coming that way.
She had made a mess of the bathroom. Everything was thrown out. Crap on the towels. Crap on the carpet. Crap on the decorative towels. Crap on the toliet seat cover. I remember my cousin saying "Just throw it away mom" as my aunt was debating on what can be washed.
We never discussed the Christmas with my Grandfather's new wife, but it truly was a crappy Christmas.
HAR HAR HAR!!!
That sounds like it beats the Griswold's Family Christmas hands down!0 -
Mine wasnt that bad besides getting cussed out over the phone by my mom as well as my brother. i did get some holiday revenge though my father fell down the basement stairs and broke his arm and leg. I know thats not a nice thing to say but he really did deserve it with all the crap he put me through over the years. 0 -
I did.
Audrey took off with Deanna at around 8PM Christmas Eve, and returned about midnight the next day.
I spent that time alone.
Doug0 -
better yet, i dont set myself up for crappy x-mas'. i dont DO X-MAS! i win on all accounts. 0 -
My son, who is in the army, was with us for Christmas. We know he is going to Iraq soon and so even though the presents were few the moments will not be forgotten. There is no such thing as a bad Christmas if your with people that love you. 0 -
just another day to me, fine if I can't do some things cuz the store is closed, I got plenty other things to get done! and I am!! 0 -
quote:Originally posted by Paleobrute
Mr. Schoff says: "I thought it was the end of my life! Thank God my wife saw me. I don't think I could have stood it in there much longer."
I think I would have asked them to just shoot me and fill in the hole.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Doug Wilson
I did.
Audrey took off with Deanna at around 8PM Christmas Eve, and returned about midnight the next day.
I spent that time alone.
Doug
Is Audrey the wife or the ex-wife? My ex, a.k.a. Dragon Lady used to love to do the Holiday Hurt on me with the kids.0 -
quote:Originally posted by bobski
better yet, i dont set myself up for crappy x-mas'. i dont DO X-MAS! i win on all accounts.
You scrooge, you. [:(!]
Seriously, lots of people don't. To each his own but I hope it wasn't just because you didn't think anyone would spend any time with you.0 -
quote:Originally posted by JamesRK
quote:Originally posted by Paleobrute
Mr. Schoff says: "I thought it was the end of my life! Thank God my wife saw me. I don't think I could have stood it in there much longer."
I think I would have asked them to just shoot me and fill in the hole.
LOL I'll bet the thought occurred to him!0 -
A1
Sounds like you could use another trip south.
A20 -
Yup.
D.0 -
Well............ My wife came down with a kidney stone on Nov 27th. I have taken her to the hospital numerous times for surgical proceedures and to put a tube into her right kidney.
She had a lithotripsy to break up the stone. She also got an infection from the kidney stone back-up. This dropped her blood pressure dangerously low and she spent 5 days in the hospital, 2 of them in ICU.
Then, just when we thought things could not get any worse, her father dies on Christmas Eve. Needless to say, this is the holiday season we would like to forget.0 -
I bet his throat will be sore from inhaling all the ammonia. 0 -
quote:Originally posted by Captplaid
Some will find this story offensive.
The first Christmas Tracy, my wife, had with my family, we went to my Aunt and Uncle's house. Not only was it her first Christmas in the family but my Grandfather had also remarried and it was her first Christmas with us also. She was a rather polite, proper, but sweet old lady. Everyone was on there best behavior.
My aunt also invited my deceased grandmother's cousin, Mary, over. She was a dingbat, very flakey, old, and she had a weird condition with these mole like bumps all over her entire body. We ate lasagna for supper. Throughout the meal Mary kept saying "I haven't eaten this much in 3 days" and just went on and on about how delicious everything was. We thought nothing of it. Again she was a dingbat.
Later that evening, My sisters and cousin were playing the piano on the in the front room as if we were a captive audience, which we were. It was a boring Christmas tradition that they loved and made me understand why the Japanese commit hara-kiri. To this day, I will not alow a piano in my house.
Now the house is a two story but it is pretty much a shotgun style with a front room, living room, dining room and kitchen from front to rear. The bathroom is off the kitchen. I was in the room just before the piano with Tracy, my Grandfather, his wife, and a few others. I was bored but sat there politely when Mary comes walking fast through the room. Her right hand is between the butt cheeks and she is saying "Oh! Oh! Oh!" At this point things got much less boring.
Apparently she was serious about not eat this much in three days. He body was rejecting the supper. So for the next 15 minutes I'm sitting there laughing chuckling on the inside about what I just saw. I know Tracy is doing the same thing. Actually, we are all pretending nothing is wrong. It's more like that facade family put up that everything is OK and no one wants to talk about the obvious ptoblem before us. Finally my uncle gets up to check on her.
He finds Mary in the kitchen with nothing but her bra on. Mole condition and all. Fortunately he stopped her before she had made it to the living room because she was coming that way.
She had made a mess of the bathroom. Everything was thrown out. Crap on the towels. Crap on the carpet. Crap on the decorative towels. Crap on the toliet seat cover. I remember my cousin saying "Just throw it away mom" as my aunt was debating on what can be washed.
We never discussed the Christmas with my Grandfather's new wife, but it truly was a crappy Christmas.
I feel for the lady. When I was 15 my dad gave me the boot out of the house once agian and I stayed on the streets and had only a half of sandwhich to eat in two weeks. When my sister got wind of what my dad had done (he wouldn't admit it to her when she called to talk with me) she came down to Portland Oregon from Tacoma Washington which is about a 4 hour drive if I remeber right. She found me by luck and took me back to stay with her. On the drive home I was very hungry so she took me to sit down restraunt to get something in my stomach because she said I looked very pale and worn down, just bad altogether. Best meal I ever ate, but I paid for it! About a hour after I ate the food was ready to come out and I was in a panick because it came out of no where. She pulled off the highway and I ran out in the field just in the nick of time and gave it hell.
To this day we both crack up laughing so hard at the desperate look she saw on my face, and the desperation I felt in my body. [:D]0
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