My successful weight loss programs (jk)
I recently called a company I had seen advertised and ordered their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there was a knock on the door and before me there stood a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.
She introduced herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign read, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought, I took off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, I finally gave up. The same girl showed up for the next four days and the same thing happened. On the fifth day, I weighed myself and was delighted to find that I had lost 10 lbs. as promised.
Well, I immediately called the company and ordered their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there was a knock at the door and before me there stood the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman I had ever seen in my life. She was wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that read, "If you catch me you can have me!"
Well, I was out the door after her like a shot. This girl was in excellent shape and I did my best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happened while I gradually got in better and better shape.
Much to my delight on the fifth day when I weighed myself, I discovered that I have lost another 20 lbs. as promised. Needless to say, I decided to go for broke and called the company to order their 7-day/50 pound program
"Are you sure?" asked the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," I replied, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when I opened it I encountered a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that read, "If I catch you, your ass is mine."
I lost 63 pounds last week. Does anybody want the phone number?
She introduced herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign read, "If you can catch me, you can have me!" Without a second thought, I took off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, I finally gave up. The same girl showed up for the next four days and the same thing happened. On the fifth day, I weighed myself and was delighted to find that I had lost 10 lbs. as promised.
Well, I immediately called the company and ordered their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there was a knock at the door and before me there stood the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman I had ever seen in my life. She was wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that read, "If you catch me you can have me!"
Well, I was out the door after her like a shot. This girl was in excellent shape and I did my best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happened while I gradually got in better and better shape.
Much to my delight on the fifth day when I weighed myself, I discovered that I have lost another 20 lbs. as promised. Needless to say, I decided to go for broke and called the company to order their 7-day/50 pound program
"Are you sure?" asked the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."
"Absolutely," I replied, "I haven't felt this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when I opened it I encountered a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that read, "If I catch you, your ass is mine."
I lost 63 pounds last week. Does anybody want the phone number?
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LMAO!!!!!! BEST IVE HEARD ALL WEEK 0 -
[:D][:D][:D][:D] 0
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