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Little Johnny

jimdeere
>
> The
teacher asked the class to use the word
>"fascinate" in a
sentence.
>
> Molly put up her
hand and said, "My family
>went to my granddad's farm,
>
and we all saw his pet sheep. It
was
>fascinating."
>
> The
teacher said, "That was good, but I
>wanted you to use the
word
> "fascinate, not fas
cinating".
>
> Sally raised her
hand. She said, "My family
>went to see Rock City and
>
I was "fascinated."
>
> The
teacher said, "Well, that was good
>Sally, but I wanted you to use
the
> word
"fascinate."
>
> Little Johnny
raised his hand. The teacher
>hesita ted because she
had
> been burned by Little Johnny before. She
finally
>decided there was no way he
> could damage the
word "fascinate", so she called
>on
him.
>
> Johnny said, "My Aunt
Gina has a sweater
>with ten buttons, but her boobs are
>
so big she can only fasten
eight."
>
> The teacher sat down
and
cried.
0

Comments

39 comments

Date Votes
  • jimdeere
    Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
    Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."

    Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

    Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In
    Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."

    Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough toget a job. You'll need to support Jenny."

    Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance.. Jenn makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that should do us just fine."

    By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. So, he thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to.

    After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"

    Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..." [:I][:I][:I][:I]




    There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
    Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
    0
  • jimdeere
    Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw his Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother, "Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane....At this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight." At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army. Mommy fainted.

    THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS:
    Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.
    0
  • fastcarsgofast
    [:D][:D][:D]
    0
  • bamafan
    Poor little johhny. Can't ever win.[:D][:D]
    0
  • Henry0Reilly
    Little Johnny's teacher began the new school year with a guessing game for the students. "Children, I have something in my desk drawer, it's yellow, round and long." Johnny has his hand high in the air but the teacher calls on Sally. "I know teacher, it's a banana." The teacher removes a squash, "No, Sally, it's a summer squash, but I like the way you think. I have something in my other drawer that's round and red and it's also something you can eat." Again, Johnny's hand is the first one in the air, but the teacher calls on Billy. "I know teacher, it's an apple!" The teacher pulls out a tomato and says, "No, Billy, it's a tomato, but I like the way you think." At this point Johnny stands up, jams his hands in his pockets and says, "I knew both of them teacher, can you guess what I've got ahold of? It's round, smooth, and it has a head on it?" "JOHNNY ! ! You march yourself down to the principal's office right this INSTANT! " Johnny says, "Why teacher, it `as on'y a nickel, but I like the way you think!"
    0
  • jimdeere
    "Why, Johnny, I forgot you were there."
    0
  • rogue_rob
    quote:Originally posted by jimdeere
    "Why, Johnny, I forgot you were there."



    "You may go now."[:D]
    0
  • JustC
    "thank you"

    "leave that shotgun"

    "just leave it"
    0
  • givette
    Little Rascals:

    Teacher: Class, we're going to do a word game today. I'm going to say a word, and I want you to put it into a sentence. Darla, you first. The word is "Assume". Darla doesn't hesitate for an instant. "I assume there will be rain tonight". Very good! the teacher says.

    Now Spanky: the word for you is "Judgement". Spanky shifts his feet for a few moments, then lights up and says "early to bed and early to rise is good judgement". Very good! the teacher says.

    Now Buckwheat: the word for you is "dictate". The poor little guy is at a complete loss. The teacher sees the blank look on his face. C'mon, Buckwheat, surely you know how to put "dictate" in a sentence. Poor Buckwheat. Still at a loss. Finally he yells, I got it! I got it! Last night my girlfriend say my dictate good. The teacher faints.[:D][:D]
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