Elephant Question
An elephant is walking through the jungle when he comes across a naked man standing in a clearing.
The elephant slowly looks the man up and down and says,
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"How the hell do ya feed yourself with that?" [;)][:I]
The elephant slowly looks the man up and down and says,
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"How the hell do ya feed yourself with that?" [;)][:I]
0
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Traveling through the Ozark hills, a circus truck carrying an elephant overturns, and the elephant escapes into the woods. The circus personnel scour the countryside looking for the elephant.
One fellow stops at an unpainted shanty, and speaks to the barefoot, unkempt woman on the front porch.
"We are looking for an elephant. Have you seen it?"
"What's an 'elly-fant?'" the lady asks.
The man replies, "It's a BIG animal, probably the biggest animal you ever saw, nearly as big as your house."
Lady says, "Yep, I seen it. It was in my garden, a-pullin' up cabbages with its tail, and you wouldn't believe me if I told you where it was a-stuffin' 'em."0 -
[:D][:D][:D][:0] 0 -
Nunn, yours is funnier. 0 -
[:D][:D]To both 0 -
Mom, what's that thing hanging down from the elephant?
The trunk?
No, back further.
The tail?
No, up further.
Oh, um... that's nothing. Ask your father.
Dad, mom said the thing hanging down from the elephant is nothing.
Well, you're mother is spoiled.
Lion roars at an elephant and demands to know who is the king of the jungle. Elephant slaps him around for a while and walks away. Lion rises all battered and says that you don't have to get snotty about it just because you don't know.0 -
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating
>> from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came
>> across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
>> The
>> elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He
>> got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a
>> large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as
>> gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife,
>> after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant
>> turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face,
>> stared at him for several tense moments.
>> Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
>> Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
>> Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty
>> years later, Mbemb was walking through the Chicago Zoo with
>> his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of
>> the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son
>> Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted
>> its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that
>> several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
>> Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering
>> if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed
>> over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right
>> up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
>> The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's
>> legs and slammed him against the railing, killing
>> him instantly. Probably wasn't the same elephant.0 -
Great Jokes![:D] 0 -
what's brown and flat?
slow natives0 -
Q: How do you get four elephants into a VW?
A: Two in the front, two in the back.
Q: What game do four elephants in a VW play?
A: Squash
Q: How do you get an elephant into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Insert elephant.
3. Close door.
Q: How do you get a giraffe into the fridge?
1. Open door.
2. Remove elephant.
3. Insert giraffe.
4. Close door.
Q. The lion, the king of the jungle, decided to have a party. He invited all the animals in the jungle, and they all came except one. Which one?
A. The giraffe, because he was still in the fridge.
OK, I'll stop now.0 -
nmquote:Originally posted by farfromnormal
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating
>> from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came
>> across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
>> The
>> elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He
>> got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a
>> large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as
>> gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife,
>> after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant
>> turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face,
>> stared at him for several tense moments.
>> Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
>> Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
>> Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty
>> years later, Mbemb was walking through the Chicago Zoo with
>> his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of
>> the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son
>> Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted
>> its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that
>> several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
>> Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering
>> if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed
>> over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right
>> up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
>> The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe's
>> legs and slammed him against the railing, killing
>> him instantly. Probably wasn't the same elephant.
ahahahahahahahah[:D][:)][8D][:D][:)][8D]0
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