Telemarketers
HOW TO HANDLE TELEMARKETERS
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my car won't start..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company..." You: (Wait for a second) With a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...would YOU be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get blood out? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?"
9. Ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to their fellow employees.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang-up.
12. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number, you will call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Tell the telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
17. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
18. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder...louder...louder...
19. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write DOWN EVERY WORD.
When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my car won't start..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This works great if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company..." You: (Wait for a second) With a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...would YOU be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get blood out? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?"
9. Ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to their fellow employees.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang-up.
12. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number, you will call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Tell the telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
17. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
18. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder...louder...louder...
19. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write DOWN EVERY WORD.
When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
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This is how to handle telemarketers.
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3a6_11937945320 -
You getting calls from them. Last two days all of a sudden they found me.[xx(] 0 -
Telemarketers
The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with "Is this Karl Brummer". Not sounding anything like my name, I asked who is calling. The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that. Then I asked him if he knew Karl personally and why was he calling this number.
I then said off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears", I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case. I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.
The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position and the police were entering the building to take him into custody, at that point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away. My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time. [:D]0 -
Is anyone else receiving alot of calls from telemarketers? I have been getting about 2 per day. Mostly around 7:00 or 8:00 p.m. Sometimes 3 a day on Saturday and Sunday. These people will not take no for an answer. I usually just hang up on them after I tell them I'm not intrested. Is there any way I can get my phone number removed from their list? The phone call usually begins with, we are currently working in your area and want to offer you a special deal on a new home security system- vinyl siding- new windows- satalite dish-etc, etc. I got one last night, he said the police station was low on money and wanted me to help them out. I told him I helped out every week in the form of taxes. Of course he ignored me and kept on telling a hard luck story. I read somewhere about a device that was installed in your phone line that showed up as a disconnected phone to a telemarketer, anyone tried one of these? 0 -
Old, old, old, but still good for a laugh. 0 -
Works for me and maybe I should try it, I'm on the NO call list and it doesn't work that good.[:D] 0
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