The pearly gates-
Does this make heaven gated community?
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Bill Gates arrives before St. Peter, who is obviously excited for him to be there. "Welcome, Mr. Gates!", he says, "since you're such a notable and famous charachter, my boss has authorized me to let you choose your own eternity."
Gates smiles. "Well, yes, that is only right", he tells St. Peter.
Peter leads him to what appears to be a peaceful park in a city. Some old men are playing chess on a bench, there are mothers playing with their young children in a playground, and older kids have a touch football game going on. "Okay, not bad", Gates says, "how about my other choice?"
Peter leads him to a beach, where there is a volleyball game going on, a keg of beer and the most beautiful women he has ever seen in the skimpiest of bikinis. "That settles it", Gates says. "This is what I want". Peter says "OK", and Gates is sucked into a fiery vortex, amidst the laughter of demons. As Gates disappears into the fiery pit, he yells at St. Peter "What about the beach? What about the babes?"
St. Peter says "Bill, that was the demo".0 -
A couple made a deal that which ever died first, they would come back and inform the other of the after life. Her biggest fear was there was no heaven. After a long life the husband was the first to go and true to his word he made contact.
Mary ... Mary ....
Is that you Fred ?
Yes, I have come back like we agreed.
What is it like?
Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, I have sex, I bath in the sun, then I have sex-twice, I have lunch, then sex pretty all afternoon Supper-then sex till late at night, Sleep then start all over again.
Oh Fred you surely must be in heaven.
Hell no, I'm a rabbit in Texas .[:D]0 -
nice one 0
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