Friday Funny
It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" the father says.
"That's cool," says Bobby.
Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies, politely, that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. Carrie's father responds, "Why don't you two go out and screw, I hear all the kids are doing it."
Naturally, this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby. So, he asks Carrie's father to repeat it. "Yeah," says Carrie's father, "Carrie really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!" Well, this just made Bobby's eyes light up, and his plan for the evening was beginning to look pretty good. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt, and announces that she's ready to go.
Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.
About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, "DAMMIT DADDY! IT'S CALLED THE TWIST!"
[:D][:D]
"That's cool," says Bobby.
Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do. Bobby replies, politely, that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. Carrie's father responds, "Why don't you two go out and screw, I hear all the kids are doing it."
Naturally, this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby. So, he asks Carrie's father to repeat it. "Yeah," says Carrie's father, "Carrie really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!" Well, this just made Bobby's eyes light up, and his plan for the evening was beginning to look pretty good. A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt, and announces that she's ready to go.
Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.
About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, "DAMMIT DADDY! IT'S CALLED THE TWIST!"
[:D][:D]
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A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He
smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the
wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her
attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.
"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent
question he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment,
then took her foot and stomped them flat, saying "Well, we're not
having any of that Brokeback mountain crap in our garden."0 -
Paddy and Mick ask a pilot to take them to canada to go moose hunting.
After a good trip and bagging 6 moose they begin to load the plane for the return trip when the pilot suddenly says "sorry lads you can only take 4, this little plane can't handle the weight".
Angrily the two friends told the pilot that they'd taken 6 on a previous trip and that pilot had the same plane as his. The pilot reluctantly agreed and off they set.
After an hour or so into the journey the little plane got into difficulties and crashed "be jesus, are you ok paddy" shouted mick from amongst the dead moose "yes oim foin mick, have yer any idea where we are?" mick looked out of the window and said
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"from da looks of tings, we're petty close to where we crashed last year!" [:D][^]0 -
A young lady hadn't had a date for years, and not so much as a hint of any nookie, so eventually in desperation she went to see the Chinese sex therapist, Dr Chang.
"First of all" said the Doc "stwip off all clothes and crawl across wroom velly velly flast"
Jane disrobed, and as instructed crawled across the room as quickly as she could.Much to her amaisment!
"Now turn round and crawl back velly velly fasly" said Dr Chang.
Once again Jane did as she was told.
"Oh dear" said the chinese Doc "worse case of Ed Zackery disease I have ever sween" .this is your pwoblem!
"Oh my God" says Jane "But what is Ed Zackery disease?"[?]
"Ed Zackery disease?" says chinese man "When face look Ed Zackery like a88" [:0][:D][}:)]
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- now say it in chinese voice-
exactly = Ed zackery [;)]0 -
FOUR RELIGIOUS TRUTHS
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian World.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters0 -
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