Yogisms

He Dog

March 18, 2007 14:55

"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."

"Slump? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hitting."

"A nickel isn't worth a dime today."

"If you come to a fork in the road, take it."

"You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn't enough in the second half you give what's left."

"If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them."

"The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase."

"You can observe a lot just by watching."

"You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."

"I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early."

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  LaidbackDan

  March 18, 2007 15:52

  Hey Boo boo, lets get a pick-a-nik basket before Ranger Smith gets back.

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  mrseatle

  March 18, 2007 16:12

  THE FIRST LESSON.
  
  
  
  THE COMING OF THE MASTER.
  
  
  
  THE FORERUNNER.
  
  Strange rumors reached the ears of the people of Jerusalem and the
  surrounding country. It was reported that a new prophet had appeared
  in the valley of the lower Jordan, and in the wilderness of Northern
  Judea, preaching startling doctrines. His teachings resembled those of
  the prophets of old, and his cry of "Repent! Repent ye! for the
  Kingdom of Heaven is at hand," awakened strange memories of the
  ancient teachers of the race, and caused the common people to gaze
  wonderingly at each other, and the ruling classes to frown and look
  serious, when the name of the new prophet was mentioned.
  
  The man whom the common people called a prophet, and whom the exalted
  ones styled an impostor, was known as John the Baptist, and dwelt in
  the wilderness away from the accustomed haunts of men. He was clad in
  the rude garments of the roaming ascetics, his rough robe of camel's
  skin being held around his form by a coarse girdle of leather. His
  diet was frugal and elemental, consisting of the edible locust of the
  region, together with the wild honey stored by the bees of the
  wilderness.
  
  In appearance John, whom men called "the Baptist," was tall, wiry, and
  rugged. His skin was tanned a dark brown by the winds and sun which
  beat upon it unheeded. His long black hair hung loosely around his
  shoulders, and was tossed like the mane of a lion when he spoke. His
  beard was rough and untrimmed. His eyes gleamed like glowing coals,
  and seemed to burn into the very soul of his hearers. His was the face
  of the religious enthusiastic with a Message for the world.
  
  This wild prophet was most strenuous, and his teachings were couched
  in the most vigorous words. There was no tact, policy, or persuasion
  in his message. He hurled his verbal thunderbolts right into his
  crowd, the very force and earnestness emanating from him serving to
  charge his words with a vitality and magnetism which dashed itself
  into the crowd like a spark of electricity, knocking men from off
  their feet, and driving the Truth into them as if by a charge of a
  powerful explosive. He told them that the spiritual grain was to be
  gathered into the garners, while the chaff was to be consumed as if by
  a fiery furnace; that the axe was to be laid to the root of the trees
  which brought not forth good fruit. Verily, the "Day of Jehovah," long
  promised by the prophets, was near to hand to his hearers and
  followers.
  
  

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  Slow_Hand

  March 18, 2007 18:59

  "Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded."

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