Married man troubles - Is it just me?
OK, I've been married 2 times, 12 yr.s on the first and still working on the second after 7 yr.s. ...BUT EVERY TIME my wife decides to do something, I have to help her! ...She starts on some Xmas decorations for "her project" ...next thing I know she's yelling at me to come help her! She goes and buys something; I get a call to go pick it up! I tell her I'm going the auto parts store, so now she wants me to stop at the grocery store and pick up some "Maxie pads"!(one of my favorite things to do!! *L*) She wants to paint the bathroom, now I have to set everything up for her! ...Ladder, paint brushes, mixes the paint, set out the drop cloth. And just now, I get a call at work, she wants to have the carpets cleaned, and Friday is the ONLY day they can come! Well I only work a half on Friday and the last half I claim for myself and my projects ...so I'm S.O.L.(old Army term!) ...And what do I want her to come, go, get for me?? NOTHING! Absolutely nothing! I could almost see her at the hardware store if I asked her to stop in and get me a half dozen 1/2" UNC nuts with nylon lock ring or a box of .270 cartridges with 130 gr. SP/BT bullets! *L*
SO, my question to you other married males ...is it just me? ...Or does your wife do the same thing?
SO, my question to you other married males ...is it just me? ...Or does your wife do the same thing?
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My wife does to a limited degree. She tries what your wife is doing but I simply say no. My wife has bought a rediculous amount of things to hang on our walls. I hang them, but on my time not hers. Rushing me or hounding me my wife has realized just makes me drop everything she is wanting me to do and go do something else that I want to do.
My wife is patient I love her. [:)]0 -
I married a mechanical engineer. I'm the one asking for help with projects. 0 -
I hear a whip cracking. 0 -
Heck, I'm not even married yet and sometimes I feel that way. Like Kodiak's wife though, my girlfriend is starting to learn that the stuff will get done a lot faster if she backs off and quites nagging.
Jon0 -
Just do what I do. Put your spine back in it's box and do whatever it is that she wants done. It's worked for me for 15 years. 0 -
My wife will always go off and do things on her own. She never asks for help, but if it's something I know she is going to screw up, I'll give her a hand with it. About the only other thing I can recall her wanting me to do is getting her mowers ready so she can mow.
My suggestion to you is, when she asks you to do something, get really bitchy with her, complain about having to do her projects, throw things around while your setting crap up for her, be a real pain in the ass, and she won't ask you to do those things, because she won't want to be around your bad behavior.0 -
My wife is a farm girl with ten brothers and sister. She works hard, loves hard and is no pillow sitter. [:D] 0 -
I do those things with and for my wife because I love her and she is still, after 20 years, the light of my life. I am not much of a romantic, and the one of the ways I can show her that she is truly loved is to assist her whenever I can. You must remember that it is your choice to be bothered by these things, and that any task is easier if you choose to enjoy it. Never loose sight of the fact that all of these perceived burdens are a opportunity to serve the one you love, to love, honor and respect her, as it were. 0 -
Well put. [^]
quote:Originally posted by Don McManus
I do those things with and for my wife because I love her and she is still, after 20 years, the light of my life. I am not much of a romantic, and the one of the ways I can show her that she is truly loved is to assist her whenever I can. You must remember that it is your choice to be bothered by these things, and that any task is easier if you choose to enjoy it. Never loose sight of the fact that all of these perceived burdens are a opportunity to serve the one you love, to love, honor and respect her, as it were.0 -
I know what your problem is. I have 20 years in the book and I learned a long time ago EXPECTATIONS are the key. If she thinks you can do it or do it better she will ask for your help.
Play dumb, stupid or plain incompetent. IE - Last week wife wanted me to help hang up some clothes. So I tired to oblige. Start by doing it real slow, then progress into total incompetence - like gonna stretch that neck opening too big or try to force a big hanger on a little shirt. When one of the hangers tips went through one of her sweaters was the last straw. She asked the dumb-bell (ME) to get out of the bedroom and go play with the kids. I said sure thing and sorry I was not up to her expectations. She smiled and said go on you big non domestic tumble-turd. But this tumble-turd had much more fun with the kids that hamging around playing housemaid.0 -
The thing to do is screw whatever she has you do up. Then she'll quit asking.
My wife is one those who tells me how pretty much everything I'm doing or have done is wrong. Honest, even mechanicing on the car. She'll come out an tell me how I'm doing it wrong.[:D]0 -
Not married, or a male, but...
Maybe she is feeling neglected and the only way she knows how to get your much-desired attention is to play the "damsel in distress"....?
Maybe she would like it if you did ask for her help or participation when you take up a project?0 -
We're going on 32 years now and we definitly don't have that problem. We pretty much plan everything tegether. She really doesn't demand much of anything and she would get or do just about anything I would ask her to. We really are like best friends. I'm probably the more wanting stuff person and she has always been right there. I really got to be careful what I want or wish for so that I don't use her. Her mom was like that in that they are always there to please. She is a keeper and gives me a million reasons to be thankful for. We're all different and marriage takes alot of work always. From my experience though, the closer you talk and work together on things the stronger you relationship becomes. Really get to know each other and always let the other know how you feel on everything. Good luck and I hope all works out.[:)] 0 -
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If you have a good wife - who you love - consider yourself lucky -
things could be worse ... a LOT worse. Save your complaints for
real complaints. Yours need trainer wheels.
[:D][}:)][:D]0 -
quote: Not married, or a male, but...
Maybe she is feeling neglected and the only way she knows how to get your much-desired attention is to play the "damsel in distress"....?
Maybe she would like it if you did ask for her help or participation when you take up a project?
Or, she may just be bossy!0 -
quote:Originally posted by IAMAHUSKER
quote: Not married, or a male, but...
Maybe she is feeling neglected and the only way she knows how to get your much-desired attention is to play the "damsel in distress"....?
Maybe she would like it if you did ask for her help or participation when you take up a project?
Or, she may just be bossy!
Possible, or insecure, there are two sides to every story, though.0 -
quote:Originally posted by Don McManus
I do those things with and for my wife because I love her and she is still, after 20 years, the light of my life. I am not much of a romantic, and the one of the ways I can show her that she is truly loved is to assist her whenever I can. You must remember that it is your choice to be bothered by these things, and that any task is easier if you choose to enjoy it. Never loose sight of the fact that all of these perceived burdens are a opportunity to serve the one you love, to love, honor and respect her, as it were.
Good post and gave me some things to think about. Maybe it's not that bad sitting there while my wife yells "More to the right, little bit down!". She makes me laugh when she is like that.0 -
quote:Originally posted by CHGOTHNDER
I hear a whip cracking.
me too...things don't work quite that way around here...0 -
[:D]just tell her your gf never ask you to do those things [}:)][}:)][:D] 0 -
More than happy to help my wife on projects, but she had to learn a hard lesson that just because she wants something done, I may help, but it will be when I choose to do it. I am not dropping what I am doing because she yells "frog" (that means to jump, for those unfamiliar with that term).
A wild hair up YOUR butt, does not equate to an emergency or the need for immediate action in my book.[;)]0 -
No, my wife doesn't need or want my help. She had our first son when I was away on business, and the second one within 36 hours of me coming home from business. She balances the checkbook and runs the house because I'm away so much. I don't think she needs me except to take her shooting sometimes. 0 -
I do what ever my wife needs with a smile on my face and a happy countenance!
Then later, when she's not around, I scrub the toilet with her toothbrush...0 -
I'll do anything for my wife but carpentry.Well I should take that back. Putting in a door is okay. But when it comes to fixing one of her flower boxes, or old time wheel barrows, forget it. I can't make a set of saw horses. 0 -
when i was married it was the same thing, she would get an idea, plan it out, then expect me to implement the plan... and pay for it.
but then again, she was a scandalous little cheating fatlady.
sounds like she just doesn't appreciate your time, communicate, that is the key.0 -
Does she know the words .. " Chop Chop " ? ( hand gestures optional )[:0][:0] 0 -
Oh no, Mines different. She's not like that at all...................
I have to go help my wife with the Thanksgiving decorations[:D]0 -
To a limited degree, yeah. She wants to paint the living room, I say, "Fine."
Apparently that's my tacit agreement that I'll be around to help her paint, when my response was intended to say, "Sure Babe, knock yourself out and have fun paining."
What I hate is her projects that are budgeted (a budget SHE sets) for, say, $100 wind up being $1000 by the time all is said and done, and then she doesn't even like it.0 -
I can't complain about the doing stuff department. Mine wanted a new light fixture over the sink. I gave permission, she installed it. Same with variable/dimmer light switches, etc..
She also does most all the getting/running/phone calls/etc..
[:)][:)]0 -
Sounds to me like you are just being insensitive and lazy. You're just a sexist pig. 0
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