Thought for the day!
Never hold your farts in.[xx(]
They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where you get crappy ideas from. [}:)]
How you doin'!
They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that's where you get crappy ideas from. [}:)]
How you doin'!
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A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States .
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
'Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me
housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!'
The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican.'
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. 'Thank you for having
such a beautiful country here in America and giving me free education
and medical care!'
The person says, 'I not American, I Vietnamese.'
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops,
Shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful America, my
wonderful housing and food stamps!'
That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Middle East , I am not
American!'
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you an American?'
She says, 'No, I am from Africa !'
Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Americans?'
The lady checks her watch and says...'Probably at work.'0 -
Always listen to experts. They're tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it. -Robert Heinlen 0 -
" He that doesn't know and knows that he doesn't know,
Knows more than he who doesn't know and doesn't know that he doesn't know."0 -
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is
suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best
friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.0 -
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? 0 -
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? 0 -
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If pro is opposite of con, then what
is the opposite of progress?
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Congress!0 -
Everyone has a photographic memory. But some folks don't have film. 0 -
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."
- Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')0 -
Does the statement, "We've always done it like that" ring any bells?
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5
inches.
That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates
built the US Railroads.
Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the
pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools
that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would
break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because
that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England )
for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match
for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial
Rome , they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived
from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. And bureaucracies
live forever.
So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass
came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman army
chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war
horses!
Now, the twist to the story.
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big
booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid
rocket boosters, or SRBs.
The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah . The engineers who
designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the
SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the
mountains.
The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.
The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad
track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's
most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years
ago by the width of a horse's ass.
- And -
You thought being a HORSE'S ASS wasn't important!0 -
" If you wake up breathing, it's a good day - so make the most if it." 0 -
If it is not going to be written on your tombstone, it is not worth worrying about. 0 -
We do not inherit the earth from our parents. We borrow it from our children. -Native American proverb 0 -
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 0
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