That's Medicare for You!

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."
"Mrs. Ward, please." "Speaking"
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing
Laboratory.
When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab
yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and
we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the
results are either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and
the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which your
husband's is."

"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs.
Ward.

"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive
tests one time."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off
somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't
sleep with him.