The Jewish Funeral
Sam died. His will provided $50,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last attendees left, Sam's wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said, "Well, I'm sure Sam would be pleased."
"I'm sure you're right," replied Sadie, who leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Tell me, how much did it really cost?"
"All of it," said Rose. "Fifty thousand."
"No!" Sadie exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but really... $50,000?"
Rose nodded. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the shul for the Rabbi's services. The shiva food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Sadie computed quickly. "$42,500 for a memorial stone? Oy vey, how big is it?"
"Five and a half carats!" [;)][:o)]
As the last attendees left, Sam's wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said, "Well, I'm sure Sam would be pleased."
"I'm sure you're right," replied Sadie, who leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Tell me, how much did it really cost?"
"All of it," said Rose. "Fifty thousand."
"No!" Sadie exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but really... $50,000?"
Rose nodded. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the shul for the Rabbi's services. The shiva food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Sadie computed quickly. "$42,500 for a memorial stone? Oy vey, how big is it?"
"Five and a half carats!" [;)][:o)]
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[:D][:D][:D] 0 -
A young man died a tragic death--the circumstances of which are immaterial. He had three wealthy friends who wanted to do something wild and spectacular to memorialize the event of his funeral. They decided that they would each place $10,000 dollars in his casket before he was interned.
The first man, a successful neurosurgeon, stepped up and placed a huge fat envelope into the casket and said a few words only audible to himself and the spirit of the departed. The second man, a wealthy investment banker, followed suit and placed yet another huge fat envelope in the casket before uttering his words of respect.
The third man, an ambulance-chasing attorney who got rich quick with some frivolous high profile lawsuits, placed a thin letter-sized envelope in the casket. The other two members of the trio said nothing but stifled thoughts of disgust until the casket was lowered into the ground.
As the three men were walking away from the ceremony back to their cars the neurosurgeon and the investment banker confronted the attorney. "Hey man, you renigged on our plan to sacrifice $10,000 in the memory and honor of our close recently-departed friend!" (or words to that effect). The attorney became defensive. "I put $10,000 in the coffin!" They investment banker said, "That's impossible! The envelope was too small and thin!" The attorney replied, "For the record I would like to counter your accusation by stating that I WROTE HIM A CHECK!!!"0 -
Ids- that was MY lawyer. He put a check for $30,000 in the coffin, and took the $20,000 in cash! 0
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