Assignment 4: Analysis Paper (gun related)
Here's one of the 3 papers that's due on Tuesday. It's DONE! WOO HOO!
Edited for spelling and format.
quote:
Are You Tough Enough?
Sport shooters, target shooters, collectors, law enforcement personnel, private security companies, and the military all ask the same things out of their firearms: rugged dependability, reliability, accuracy, and precision. Regardless of whether it's just a day at the range, or if it's a tournament, or if some crazy, drugged-up, alcoholic psycho is trying to break into my house, I know that every time I pull the trigger, my weapon has to function. Lives can be lost by a pistol that goes click, instead of bang. Only the best will do, and companies that manufacture firearms have to convey that through their advertisements, regardless of the media they're presented in. The name of the manufacturer isn't everything in the world of shooting, but it means a lot. When people look at ads for firearms, they want to see something special: they want to see rugged dependability, reliability, accuracy, and precision. In other words, they want to see a quality firearm that will make them look tough when they shoot it.
Even before I turned 21, I knew that I wanted to have a pistol. I thought long and hard on the subject, analyzing technical data and specifications for many different makes, models, styles, and calibers. I knew that most semi-auto styles were based on John Moses Browning's Model 1911, chambered in .45 Caliber, Automatic Colt Pistol. I also knew that revolvers, regardless of make, are pretty much the same. I have never cared for revolvers because of the limited capacity, slower reloading, higher recoil and heavier weight than a semi-auto in the same caliber. These factors made me decide against getting a "wheel gun," as they're known in the shooting world. However it also brought up an important issue: affordable semi-autos don't come in the larger calibers that are available in most makes of revolvers, like .357 Magnum, .44 Magnum and .50 Action Express (AE), calibers that have the most knock-down power available in a pistol. This forced me to ask myself what can I get that has the smaller size of a semi-auto cartridge, but also enough knock-down power to defend myself and my family should the unlikely event occur? I discovered that there are many manufacturers of high-quality, affordable semi-automatic firearms that come in a wide range of small, but powerful calibers that fit my needs and desires.
Ever since learning about the original Model 1911, .45 ACP made by Browning, I have known of the simplicity and reliability of the design. The 1911 has been used by government, military, police forces, and private citizens around the world since it was introduced during World War One, and is still used to this day. Today, many companies manufacture licensed copies of the 1911, including Springfield Armory, which runs ads in American Rifleman Magazine, the monthly official magazine of the National Rifle Association. One of the Springfield ads that especially moves me shows a fully-equipped police Special Weapons And Tactics (SWAT) officer walking down a staircase. The man appears in the background of the ad, looking as though he has just been through a tense situation and looks very tired--as though he has just come down from a massive adrenaline high. He's wearing a load-carrying vest that is filled with spare ammunition, and slung across his chest is a tactical, short-barrel rifle. In the foreground, on top of the picture of the officer, is a picture of a Springfield Armory 1911A1 with a flashlight attached in front of the trigger guard, clearly outfitted to be a tactical weapon. The tag line on the ad reads, "You may never breach an entry to end a seven-hour hostage situation...but your Springfield has." The point of this is to ask the target audience, "Are you tough enough to handle a Springfield?"
But who is the target audience in this ad? For that, we have to look closer at the officer. He's a white man, probably in his late-20s or early-30s, which is the age group of the audience who would be most affected by this ad. Men in the same age group tend to want the "tough guy" image associated with them. They drive fast cars and big trucks, and dress in clothes usually worn by people who do hard, physical labor at their job. This ad is telling them to buy a Springfield so they can be as tough as a SWAT officer.
The ad was also printed in a magazine that is read by all genders and age groups, but especially by white men in their late-20s or early-30s. The magazine has a lot of ads and articles to inference this from. Some of the articles I have read in American Rifleman have focused on tests of new firearm models, research being conducted by US Military forces on replacements for their current weapons, and political happenings that affect firearm owners, all of which men in their late-20s and early-30s who read American Rifleman would be interested in reading. The reasoning behind because men in this ad's target audience are going to want to know what's new on the market, they want to know how military weapons are or are not holding up during combat, and anyone who reads American Rifleman Magazine is going to be concerned to know what's going on in the world of politics that applies to themselves as firearm owners.
The ad copy is worded in a way to target a part of the audience that may not have been affected by the photo in the ad itself or by the tag line. It reads, "Even though elite tactical teams declare a mission successful when objectives are met and no shots are fired, nothing is more important to them than a firearm that functions reliably. For that reason, Springfield Armory is the choice of professionals from Quantico [Virginia] to locations classified. Whatever the reasons for your 1911 clearing the holster, your demand for reliability should be equal to that of the pros. Demand Springfield Armory." Let's take a closer look at that ad copy for a moment, and compare it to what the target audience of men in their 20s and 30s are most likely to be persuaded by. The ad copy says in the first sentence, "...elite tactical teams...." That phrase alone can draw in someone perusing through a magazine, even if they're not interested in buying a pistol. It suggests, correctly, that "elite tactical teams" use Springfield 1911s for their personal sidearms. The next phrase, "nothing is more important...than a firearm that functions reliably." Every person, especially this ad's target audience, who buys any type of firearm for any purpose wants something that's reliable. What better way to inform an audience that the weapon in the ad is reliable than to just say it outright? Continuing on through the ad copy, it says "...the choice of professionals from Quantico to locations classified." The ad is assuming that the target audience knows the significance of Quantico. For most people who would be interested in reading a magazine like American Rifleman, Quantico, Virginia isn't just another random location, but one of the most important United States Marine Corps (USMC) bases in the world. This part tells the audience that the USMC, one of America's top fighting forces, trusts the reliability of Springfield 1911s. The wording "...locations classified," adds a touch of mystery to the ad, suggesting that US forces that operate in secret around the world also trust Springfield 1911s. The moving nature of the ad copy in this advertisement works on the emotions of the target audience in very subtle ways, and basically says, "You're not nearly as tough as you think you are unless you own a Springfield 1911."
Owning a Springfield 1911 doesn't "make" a person tough, regardless of what their advertisements attempt to convince you to believe, but in the world of gun owners, owning a Springfield 1911 is bound to earn you just a little bit more respect. This is because Springfield is widely regarded as one of the best domestic firearm manufacturers, and their products have the quality, and the price tag, to support that claim. When I go to the range to shoot my Springfield 1911, I know that it will fire every single time I pull the trigger, and that it will operate correctly after each and every shot. If I didn't already own one, would this ad alone convince me to buy a Springfield 1911 over, say, a Kimber 1911, or a Rock Island Arsenal 1911, two of Springfield's competitors? No, it would not. Would it make me want to put the time into researching the Springfield 1911 to find out what sets it apart from its competitors? Yes it would. Being the owner of a Springfield 1911, I don't consider myself to be the stereotypical "tough guy," but I do consider myself to be a savvy buyer and the owner of a quality firearm every time I pull the trigger.
Works Cited
"Springfield Armory USA." Advertisement American Rifleman Magazine Jan. 2007: 21.
And here's the ad I analyzed:
Edited for spelling and format.
quote:
Are You Tough Enough?
Sport shooters, target shooters, collectors, law enforcement personnel, private security companies, and the military all ask the same things out of their firearms: rugged dependability, reliability, accuracy, and precision. Regardless of whether it's just a day at the range, or if it's a tournament, or if some crazy, drugged-up, alcoholic psycho is trying to break into my house, I know that every time I pull the trigger, my weapon has to function. Lives can be lost by a pistol that goes click, instead of bang. Only the best will do, and companies that manufacture firearms have to convey that through their advertisements, regardless of the media they're presented in. The name of the manufacturer isn't everything in the world of shooting, but it means a lot. When people look at ads for firearms, they want to see something special: they want to see rugged dependability, reliability, accuracy, and precision. In other words, they want to see a quality firearm that will make them look tough when they shoot it.
Even before I turned 21, I knew that I wanted to have a pistol. I thought long and hard on the subject, analyzing technical data and specifications for many different makes, models, styles, and calibers. I knew that most semi-auto styles were based on John Moses Browning's Model 1911, chambered in .45 Caliber, Automatic Colt Pistol. I also knew that revolvers, regardless of make, are pretty much the same. I have never cared for revolvers because of the limited capacity, slower reloading, higher recoil and heavier weight than a semi-auto in the same caliber. These factors made me decide against getting a "wheel gun," as they're known in the shooting world. However it also brought up an important issue: affordable semi-autos don't come in the larger calibers that are available in most makes of revolvers, like .357 Magnum, .44 Magnum and .50 Action Express (AE), calibers that have the most knock-down power available in a pistol. This forced me to ask myself what can I get that has the smaller size of a semi-auto cartridge, but also enough knock-down power to defend myself and my family should the unlikely event occur? I discovered that there are many manufacturers of high-quality, affordable semi-automatic firearms that come in a wide range of small, but powerful calibers that fit my needs and desires.
Ever since learning about the original Model 1911, .45 ACP made by Browning, I have known of the simplicity and reliability of the design. The 1911 has been used by government, military, police forces, and private citizens around the world since it was introduced during World War One, and is still used to this day. Today, many companies manufacture licensed copies of the 1911, including Springfield Armory, which runs ads in American Rifleman Magazine, the monthly official magazine of the National Rifle Association. One of the Springfield ads that especially moves me shows a fully-equipped police Special Weapons And Tactics (SWAT) officer walking down a staircase. The man appears in the background of the ad, looking as though he has just been through a tense situation and looks very tired--as though he has just come down from a massive adrenaline high. He's wearing a load-carrying vest that is filled with spare ammunition, and slung across his chest is a tactical, short-barrel rifle. In the foreground, on top of the picture of the officer, is a picture of a Springfield Armory 1911A1 with a flashlight attached in front of the trigger guard, clearly outfitted to be a tactical weapon. The tag line on the ad reads, "You may never breach an entry to end a seven-hour hostage situation...but your Springfield has." The point of this is to ask the target audience, "Are you tough enough to handle a Springfield?"
But who is the target audience in this ad? For that, we have to look closer at the officer. He's a white man, probably in his late-20s or early-30s, which is the age group of the audience who would be most affected by this ad. Men in the same age group tend to want the "tough guy" image associated with them. They drive fast cars and big trucks, and dress in clothes usually worn by people who do hard, physical labor at their job. This ad is telling them to buy a Springfield so they can be as tough as a SWAT officer.
The ad was also printed in a magazine that is read by all genders and age groups, but especially by white men in their late-20s or early-30s. The magazine has a lot of ads and articles to inference this from. Some of the articles I have read in American Rifleman have focused on tests of new firearm models, research being conducted by US Military forces on replacements for their current weapons, and political happenings that affect firearm owners, all of which men in their late-20s and early-30s who read American Rifleman would be interested in reading. The reasoning behind because men in this ad's target audience are going to want to know what's new on the market, they want to know how military weapons are or are not holding up during combat, and anyone who reads American Rifleman Magazine is going to be concerned to know what's going on in the world of politics that applies to themselves as firearm owners.
The ad copy is worded in a way to target a part of the audience that may not have been affected by the photo in the ad itself or by the tag line. It reads, "Even though elite tactical teams declare a mission successful when objectives are met and no shots are fired, nothing is more important to them than a firearm that functions reliably. For that reason, Springfield Armory is the choice of professionals from Quantico [Virginia] to locations classified. Whatever the reasons for your 1911 clearing the holster, your demand for reliability should be equal to that of the pros. Demand Springfield Armory." Let's take a closer look at that ad copy for a moment, and compare it to what the target audience of men in their 20s and 30s are most likely to be persuaded by. The ad copy says in the first sentence, "...elite tactical teams...." That phrase alone can draw in someone perusing through a magazine, even if they're not interested in buying a pistol. It suggests, correctly, that "elite tactical teams" use Springfield 1911s for their personal sidearms. The next phrase, "nothing is more important...than a firearm that functions reliably." Every person, especially this ad's target audience, who buys any type of firearm for any purpose wants something that's reliable. What better way to inform an audience that the weapon in the ad is reliable than to just say it outright? Continuing on through the ad copy, it says "...the choice of professionals from Quantico to locations classified." The ad is assuming that the target audience knows the significance of Quantico. For most people who would be interested in reading a magazine like American Rifleman, Quantico, Virginia isn't just another random location, but one of the most important United States Marine Corps (USMC) bases in the world. This part tells the audience that the USMC, one of America's top fighting forces, trusts the reliability of Springfield 1911s. The wording "...locations classified," adds a touch of mystery to the ad, suggesting that US forces that operate in secret around the world also trust Springfield 1911s. The moving nature of the ad copy in this advertisement works on the emotions of the target audience in very subtle ways, and basically says, "You're not nearly as tough as you think you are unless you own a Springfield 1911."
Owning a Springfield 1911 doesn't "make" a person tough, regardless of what their advertisements attempt to convince you to believe, but in the world of gun owners, owning a Springfield 1911 is bound to earn you just a little bit more respect. This is because Springfield is widely regarded as one of the best domestic firearm manufacturers, and their products have the quality, and the price tag, to support that claim. When I go to the range to shoot my Springfield 1911, I know that it will fire every single time I pull the trigger, and that it will operate correctly after each and every shot. If I didn't already own one, would this ad alone convince me to buy a Springfield 1911 over, say, a Kimber 1911, or a Rock Island Arsenal 1911, two of Springfield's competitors? No, it would not. Would it make me want to put the time into researching the Springfield 1911 to find out what sets it apart from its competitors? Yes it would. Being the owner of a Springfield 1911, I don't consider myself to be the stereotypical "tough guy," but I do consider myself to be a savvy buyer and the owner of a quality firearm every time I pull the trigger.
Works Cited
"Springfield Armory USA." Advertisement American Rifleman Magazine Jan. 2007: 21.
And here's the ad I analyzed:
0
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Run your spell checker before you turn that in. I did not review closely but in the last paragraph, "competitor" is spelled incorectly. I am the worlds worse speller so there may be more to change.
What was the requested theme for the paper. A marketing twist?0 -
Thanks, Lee. I would've missed it completely. 0 -
its a wonderful essay! I thought you took it from a website. Good job, Kudos! 0 -
...Very eloquent. Daaaaang, you're funny AND smart! [^] 0 -
a comma follows 'and' when listing the last item in a list.
.........their equipment: rugged dependability, reliability, accuracy, and(,) precision.
too may or's. improper use of a comma. sentence too long. sentence fragmentation.
........Regardless of whether it's just a day at the range, a tournament, or, if some crazy psycho is trying to break into my house, my weapon must function every time I pull the trigger.
want me to keep going?
25.00 per page.
[8D][:D]0 -
quote:Originally posted by bobski
a comma follows 'and' when listing the last item in a list.
.........their equipment: rugged dependability, reliability, accuracy, and(,) precision.
too may or's. improper use of a comma. sentence too long.
........Regardless of whether it's just a day at the range, a tournament, or, if some crazy psycho is trying to break into my house, my weapon must function every time I pull the trigger.
want me to keep going?
25.00 per page.
[8D][:D]
Commas do NOT follow the 'and'. My prof would evicerate me alive if I did that. She's a stickler for commas.0 -
Good essay!
But you left out the RIA 1911's! At least your brother was smart enuff to look at a real gun![:o)][;)][:D][:o)][;)][:D]0 -
yes it does.
what year are you in zulu?
is this a marketing class?
did you take your english course yet?
im just trying to make the paper reflect who you should be.
trust me.
look it up in the little brown book.[^][;)]
honest.
zulu, serious, it just sounds like youre talking. i dont see a point or theme.
maybe if we knew what your teacher told you to do for the assignment, maybe we could help you repair it.
but if all he was doing was telling you to write something to show him youre still alive in class, hey, its ok.0 -
You could have at least used the word "heuristic" as a tribute to your friends at GB.com.
I think you could make it fit. Perhaps somewhere around the "John Moses Browning".0 -
quote:Originally posted by bobski
yes it does.
what year are you in zulu?
is this a marketing class?
did you take your english course yet?
im just trying to make the paper reflect who you should be.
trust me.
look it up in the little brown book.[^][;)]
honest.
This is English 102, and no, it doesn't.0 -
Maybe next time you will lets us help you write it before it is finished.
What a mess that would be.0 -
do you own a brown book? 0 -
There is not a comma after "and" 0 -
quote:Originally posted by bobski
do you own a brown book?
The only "brown book" I have comes on a roll, and it only turns brown after I wipe my ass with it.0 -
and thats what your diploma is going to be worth, freshman zulu.
ask your english teacher about this point.
oh, never mind. whatever college youre attending probably doesnt know how to grade papers anyway. they must have hired r-me vets who got their diplomas on line.[8]
i see sharing educated knowledge with you isnt going to work; so, let me talk a language you and your generation might understand, IT SUCKS. F at best without serious re-writes.
dont believe me? send it to a local newspaper or publisher and ask them to do a courtesy edit. (note...only two items, no comma in that last sentence.)
by a pistol that goes.....geesh. IF A PISTOL GOES!
and dont use quotation marks on BANG and CLICK. guns cant talk! you cant quote a gun![8]
warm regards,
BA(HRA)
with honors
[:D][:I]0 -
quote:Originally posted by bobski
and thats what your diploma is going to be worth, freshman zulu.
ask your english teacher about this point.
'john and sally are walking.' (no comma needed. only two items mentioned.)
'john, sally, and, the dog are walking.' you have to seperate the and from the items when 3 or more items are mentioned. there's no such thing as a 'and the dog.' but there is something called 'the dog.'
follow me?
oh, never mind. whatever college youre attending probably doesnt know how to grade papers anyway. they must have hired r-me vets who got their diplomas on line.[8]
i see sharing educated knowledge with you isnt going to work; but, let me talk a language you and your generation might understand, IT SUCKS. F at best without serious re-writes.
dont believe me? send it to a local newspaper or publisher and ask them to do a courtesy edit. (note...only two items, no comma in that last sentence.)
by a pistol that goes.....geesh. IF A PISTOL GOES!
and dont use quotation marks on BANG and CLICK. guns cant talk! you cant quote a gun![8]
warm regards,
BA(HRA)
with honors
[:D][:I]
I don't know where you learned your grammar, but commas DO NOT follow conjuctions. Try saying it out loud your way, pausing at each comma, and then say it out my way pausing at each comma. Your way sounds choppy. My way sounds smooth.
Nothing personal, but on the commas, you're wrong.0 -
bobski, you are wrong.
go look it up0 -
your paper sucks.
'lbb,' section 21j pg 405.
and am i the only one that noticed everyone jumping on just the comma. whats the matter guys? afraid to tackle the real problem of the rest of the paper being horrible?
lets hear about the other stuff, all you english majors![:o)]
wheres the header/intro?
wheres the body?
1
2
3?
wheres the closing/review?
why arent the paragraphs indented?
look at para 2. you forgot your comma after military!
heck, if i was your teacher, i'd stop at para 1 and hand it back to you.0 -
quote:Originally posted by bobski
your paper sucks.
'lbb,' section 21j pg 405.
and am i the only one that noticed everyone jumping on just the comma. whats the matter guys? afraid to tackle the real problem of the rest of the paper being horrible?
lets hear about the other stuff, you english majors![:o)]
whres the header/intro?
wheres the body?
wheres the closing?
why arent the paragraphs indented?
The paragraphs aren't indented because this forum isn't capable of it. The closing is the last paragraph. The body is everything in between the first and last paragraph. The headers aren't supported by this forum. The intro paragraph is the first paragraph. The heading for the paper I deleted because people on the forum don't need to know who my instructor is.0 -
fess up, is this your first english course?
if it is, in due time, youll see where you're weak.
hang in there.
when you look back and compare old papers to newer ones, it'll stick out like a sore thumb. until then, good luck.
[^]0 -
quote:Originally posted by bobski
fess up, is this your first english course?
if it is, in due time, youll see where you're weak.
hang in there.
when you look back and compare old papers to newer ones, it'll stick out like a sore thumb. until then, good luck.
[^]
Dude, WTH is wrong with you? A couple minutes ago you were tearing me a new one because my paper wasn't perfect, and now you're reassuring me? You must seriously be bi-polar![:(!]0 -
you friggin r-me cannon fodders.[8][:p]
basically i gave up on you and i left you to your own demise![:D]
if a paper is suppose to reflect the author, then you need to write the way you do. sloppy or not, its you.
if your teacher is worth his weight, he'll know youve been coached if you change dramatically. so, if this isnt your first paper, then go ahead, turn it in and take your medicine.
as time goes on, he will see an improvement.
and take this hint...make sure to use the brown book as one of your references ALWAYS.
look, only a fool would cut a man down, but im trying to help ya. yeah, i'll clock ya, but i'll never step on ya until you stopped breathing. so get up and learn from us old guys.
you only wish you had a navy chief as your buddy.[;)]
ps, you do.0 -
Bobski, Zulu is right. Commas do not follow the 'and.' I took AP English throughout high school, so I think I pretty much know my grammar.
I don't know what you mean by "brown book" either, so that isn't exactly a valid resource.0 -
Bobski - there is (some) debate over whether a comma should be put before the and.
E.g. I need to get a rifle, a pistol, and a shotgun
vs.
I need to get a rifle, a pistol and a shotgun
Perhaps thats the issue you're confused about. There is no reason to put a comma after the and as that would be a wierd pause in the sentence. Heres a link to what I was talking about:
http://www.protrainco.com/essays/serial-comma.htm0 -
Sorry for the multiple posts, but after reading your paper Zulu I just have a few things to say.
-You switch from writing in the third-person to writing in the first-person between paragraphs. Formal essays should always be written in the third person (meaning you can't say "I", "Me", "We", "You" or any variant of those).
-You have a run-on sentence in the fourth paragraph, last sentence. You need to break this into three or more sentences.
-Don't use contractions (like Don't, hasn't, etc.) Spell out the whole phrase (Do not, has not, etc.)
I think your content is fairly good, of course its always nice to show some research instead of just personal theories. E.g. find statistics that show mostly younger, blue-collar men buy these pistols. But if that wasn't a stated requirement, then I wouldn't worry too much about it.0 -
Z - you have a couple of errors of fact, and useage - but it's unlikely that your instructor will be knowledgeable enough to notice.
My opinion is that it sounds rather pompous, and I should know, since I'm often guilty of that.
I like the intent of the paper, but if your instructor is a typical lib, you are screwed.
Best of luck.
Doug0 -
this is an optional, correct use of a comma
quote:Originally posted by MosinNagantDisciple
Bobski - there is (some) debate over whether a comma should be put before the and.
E.g. I need to get a rifle, a pistol, and a shotgun
vs.
I need to get a rifle, a pistol and a shotgun
Perhaps thats the issue you're confused about. There is no reason to put a comma after the and as that would be a wierd pause in the sentence. Heres a link to what I was talking about:
http://www.protrainco.com/essays/serial-comma.htm0 -
Bobski is correct on his analysis of the paper except for the putting the comma after and. 0 -
[8D]--Yo ZULU-I don't think that you posted your essay just for argument, right ???
--Please just be happy with the number of correct,friendly corrections that you've gotten so far-it'l be OK--
--JIMBO0 -
I posted it because of the subject matter and because I feel I did a damn good job on it.
As far as changing from third to first person, that is OK on this paper. Instructor said so.0
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