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need help in prayer...

buschmaster
I need help in prayer.

lately when I offer bread to the God of Toast, it isn't as brown as it was before. I know He likes the color brown, because the bread goes in the Toaster white and comes out brown. but not any more!

I offered two peices of bread, prayed and turned the Dial of Brownness all the way up, but He still doesn't turn it brown. He must be mad at me. I don't know why.

maybe if I can get a bunch of people to toast with me it would please Him. if you would, put a slice of wheat bread (He likes Wonder Multi-Grain) in your family Toaster, push down the knob and pray with me:

O God of Toast, please hear our cooking. lead us away from pancakes, muffins, waffles, pies, pastries, cobblers, pizzas, buns, rolls, dumplings, omelettes, fudges, cookies, casseroles, and those weird looking things the french eat that look like a folded over pancake but really aren't. For yours is the path to marmalade, jelly, jam, and all good things that can be sprinkled on top of a buttery peice of Your golden brown toast.

just keep praying, he'll let you know when you're done by popping up the toast.
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Comments

36 comments

Date Votes
  • buschmaster
    sorry, but I think to do so would be inane. like praying to a toaster.

    I'm being honest with you. how could I honestly say I would do that? I won't. I can't. I don't believe in it.
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  • Sav99
    quote:Originally posted by buschmaster
    sorry, but I think to do so would be inane. like praying to a toaster.

    I'm being honest with you. how could I honestly say I would do that? I won't. I can't. I don't believe in it.



    Well Busch you know me, I don't tell other people what to do. I only share what has happened to me personally. But if the day ever comes in the future, that you would like me to pray for you or with you, I will be at your service.
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  • p3skyking
    That's what you get for worshiping false idols! Everyone knows you can't bring forth cinnamon toast properly in an upright toaster. The only true cinnamon toast deity is the toaster-oven.

    Whether you sacrifice the fatted Texas Toast or Bunny Bread is unimportant, ye reap what ye sow. Cinnamon, with grains of sugar, surrounded by a cloak of real butter, not margarine, will feed the multitudes. Just be sure to give Caesar a piece too! (He prefers Roman Meal). [:p][:D]
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  • tacking1
    I declare.

    Mr. Buschmaster, you have proven that while I may not agree with you, I certainly appreciate your intellect and hope that good things happen to you soon.

    I was in the OR once with a friend who had broken his arm in a fall at a party in college. As the OR in the small college town was overwhelmed with the saturday night crowd, I could see and hear several conversations between the triage nurses and patients.

    One of the patients was a girl with several friends dressed in weird costumes and clutching her eye in obvious pain. The n urse was having a time trying to figure out what hit her eye and the girl kept screaming TOAST! (as were her friends)

    The nurse finally got everyone settled down and determined that this girl had been hit in the eye by a piece of toast thrown during a showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    I am not sure if this was an active (and uncharactaristic) display of violence by your god of toast, or if he just had a surge of toastasterone and vented on this poor girl. Please do be careful and reverent be, as you would find ill favor in his wrath. (evidently)
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  • buschmaster
    the God of Toast turns all kinds of bread brown so we can put yummy stuff on and enjoy it. I suppose it doesn't matter what you put it in, as long as He turns it brown. this toaster-oven of which you speak may be more useful for serving Him!
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  • Captplaid
    Mrs plaid is making breakfast. ham and eggs. she asked if I want toast. I laughed and thouht of bm's false idol worship.

    I also declined the toast.
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