Funny for the day
A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, 'Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.'
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing 'That's horrible! So many men dying like that.
Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.'
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, 'How many is a Brazilian?
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing 'That's horrible! So many men dying like that.
Confused, he says, 'Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.'
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, 'How many is a Brazilian?
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Here's the link:
http://www.break.com/index/the-front-fell-off.html0 -
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This is great!
www.poofcat.com/iraq2.html
Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Liberals....0 -
THE BUNNY AND THE SNAKE
Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an
orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth.
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was
slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.
"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt
you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In
fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite OK," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."
"Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."
So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be French".
Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Liberals....0 -
Blonde and the Mailman:
It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying
the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole
family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift
envelope.
At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks
at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde
woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him
through the door, which she closed behind him, and took him up the stairs to
the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had
ever experienced.
When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a giant
breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and
fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him
a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill
sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too
wonderful for words," he said, "But what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your
last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what
to give you. He said, 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my
idea."0 -
[:D]
Oldie, but goodie.0 -
[:D] 0 -
[:D][:D][:D] 0 -
[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D][:D] 0 -
Well, she follows directions.[:D] 0
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